Psychospirituality and Childhood Trauma: Mental Health, Psychology, Philosophy, Spirituality, and Healing - The Return to Wholeness

Almost 2,500 years ago, the Greek philosopher Plato, a foundational thinker in Western philosophy, said that "The great error of our day is that physicians separate the Soul and the body when they treat the body." And we have gone downhill since then: How can doctors who don't believe in the Soul be expected to heal it? John Calvin wrote that “It is impossible to know God without first knowing ourselves.”

Michael Singer states that "Life's deepest purpose is not to get what you want or avoid what you don't want, as these expectations always lead to misery and mental illness. Life's purpose is to use every moment between birth and death to evolve spiritually. By being open to life's challenges, instead of resisting and storing them as blockages within you, your entire life can be a fantastic journey to liberation. True spiritual evolution comes from using life as a 'school for growth', facing each moment without resistance, and ultimately merging individual consciousness with its source 'Eternal Conscious Ecstasy.'" In my experience, that has to beat mental illness without question!

For my first article in this five part series about childhood Trauma, its malign legacy, and the role of psychospirituality and creativity in healing, click here: 'You are Bothering Yourself About the Moment in Front of You: Part 1 - The Malign Legacy of Childhood Trauma'.

Preferences

The Third Patriarch of Zen Buddhism, Sengcan, is known for the poem ‘Hsin Hsin Ming’ (also known as "Inscription on Faith Mind"), which begins with the line "The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences". Michael Singer says that the word ‘preferences’ may be replaced by ‘desires’. This line emphasises the importance of non-attachment and letting go of preferences and desires in order to understand the true nature of reality. The poem explores the concept of non-duality (that nothing is right or wrong; nothing is either good or bad) and the practice of equanimity in the face of people and life's experiences.

The opening lines of the poem, shown below, are a central message of the Sengcan's writing, suggesting that the path to Enlightenment is not inherently challenging if you can release your attachments and aversions. Sengcan encouraged Zen practitioners, and indeed all of us, to meet all experiences, pleasant or unpleasant, without getting caught up in emotional reactions. 

The poem begins:

“The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.

When love and hate are both absent

everything becomes clear and undisguised.

Make the smallest distinction, however,

and ‘Heaven’ and Earth are set infinitely apart.

If you wish to see the Truth

then hold no opinions for or against anything.

To set up what you like against what you dislike

is the disease of the mind.

When the deep meaning of things is not understood,

the mind's essential peace is disturbed to no avail.

The Way is perfect like vast space

where nothing is lacking and nothing in excess.

Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject

that we do not see the true nature of things.”

'If', Rudyard Kipling's poem, recited by Sir Michael Caine

The poem 'If' by Rudyard Kipling, which is one of my favourite poems, similarly, describing 'Triumph and Disaster' as being 'imposters', echoes the concepts of non-attachment and non-duality, containing the lines:

"If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools...

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;..

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!"

Singer says that as adults "If the outside world doesn’t match what the ego wants, you feel anger, (emotional) pain, and fear. If something does match the mental pattern, then it’s ‘love at first sight’ and you feel temporarily and conditionally happy. That’s why your relationships are so difficult. Why? Because what you call a relationship is a relationship with someone who agrees with you. If they stop agreeing with you all 'Hell' breaks loose. So, for you, relationships are when you meet someone who also matches the sum of your learned experiences. So, there is no chance of a successful relationship with this paradigm as no-one else has had exactly the same experiences as you. This leads to compromise and transactional relationships. You have ego relationships – which are destined for misery: It’s two people chasing what their ego says that it wants in order to be happy. The ego is never happy as the world is never the way it wants it to be and you can’t control the Universe. You made it 'Hell' inside. The relationship that you need to have is one with your Self, the real you. 

Psychology straightens up the mind and the emotions so that they are tolerable. Spirituality is accessing the permanent state of unconditional ecstasy inside of you and it happens to be the real you: But instead, you are busy looking at the rubbish that you have accumulated inside of you: It is as if you have collected negative experiences in a photo album that you keep looking at. These form your preferences. You are trying to rearrange the world so that your ego feels better. You get lost as the world coming in is not matching what you want. This is the cause of mental dis-ease and addiction."

Jack Kornfield wrote “Meet this transient world with neither grasping nor fear, trust the unfolding of life, and you will attain true serenity. The truth is that things change whether we want them to or not. Becoming attached to things as they are or pushing things away that we do not like does not stop them from changing. It only leads to further suffering.”

Non-acceptance, resistance, and suffering

There is a spiritual equation which is:

Suffering = Pain x Resistance

The Buddha said that “Pain is certain, suffering is optional.” We cannot avoid emotional pain, even though we try to control everything so that we don't feel the pain, which we always fail to do as no-one can control the Universe. We have to feel our pain, then let it pass through us like a wave.

Jon Kabat-Zin, an American professor emeritus of medicine and the creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, using Buddhist principles, wrote “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” If we resist the pain, we suffer. If we don't resist the pain, we don't suffer.

Jack Kornfield wrote “Equanimity arises when we accept the way things are. Things are wrong and people misbehave, causing our hatred and suffering to arise. But however painful our experiences may be, they are just painful experiences until we add the response of aversion or hatred. Only then does suffering arise. If we react with G and aversion, these qualities become habitual. Like a distorted autoimmune response, our misguided reaction of hatred does not protect us; rather, it becomes the cause of our continued unhappiness.” Dr Maté says that “The attempt to escape from pain, is what creates more pain. Trauma is primarily what happens within someone as a result of the difficult or hurtful events that befall them; it is not the events themselves. Trauma is not what happens to you but what happens inside you.” He continues "The essence of Trauma, at its purest level, is an inner injury, a lasting rupture or disconnection within the self from the Self." This is why a spiritual approach is essential in the treatment of Trauma alongside medical approaches. It requires a reintegration of the psyche. Lorraine Nilon wrote that "When you feel at sea in an abyss of emotions, reconnecting to the beauty of your Soul can be difficult, but it is never impossible."

Dr Gabor Maté, one of the world's foremost experts on childhood Trauma, attachment, authenticity, addiction, and mental health, who wrote the book 'The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture', which is in my 'Suggested Reading' list, writes that as scientists and doctors "Unless we can measure something, science won’t concede it exists, which is why science refuses to deal with such 'non-things' such as the emotions, consciousness, the mind, or the Soul." He continues "Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering."

Your childhood Trauma rules your life. The irony is that your childhood Trauma had absolutely nothing to do with you, or with anyone that you meet or any situation that you encounter as an adult. Your childhood Trauma cannot hurt you: It is long gone. But its malign legacy is that the fears and emotional pain that it caused live on as triggers and unconscious reactions to what we mistakenly perceive as Trauma, but is in fact stress, which results from your thinking, not the outside world, as adults.

Dr Carl Jung, the legendary psychiatrist, psychologist, spiritual master, and prophet, wrote that “It is sobering to realise that many of the personality traits we have come to believe are us, and perhaps even take pride in, actually bear the scars of where we lost connection to ourselves, way back when.”

Philosophy, suffering, mental illness, and healing

Ancient Greek philosophers had much to say about healing. The most significant and outstanding physician of the era was Hippocrates (also known as Hippocrates II), often referred to as the "Father of Medicine"who is considered one of the most outstanding figures in the history of medicine, who was also a philosopher, wrote that “The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. And true healer of disease.” He lived between 460 – c370 BC, predating the Stoics (who had a notable revival during the Renaissance and in modern times), who lived from 300BC to the third century AD. He was acknowledged by the disciples of Pythagoras for allying philosophy and medicine. The Hippocratic method, in particular the notion of the 'human condition', which is very relevant to the universal problem of childhood Trauma.

An important concept in Hippocratic medicine was that of a crisis in the adult patient (referred to as 'stress' in the first part of this five part series of articles), a point in the progression of disease at which either the physical, neurological, or mental illness (all resulting from early life Trauma according to Dr Gabor Maté) would begin to triumph and the patient would succumb to death, or the opposite would occur and natural processes would make the patient recover. After a crisis, a relapse and triggering might follow, and then another deciding crisis.

Hippocrates continued “As to diseases, make a habit of two things - to help, or at least, to do no harm, saying ‘Primum non nocerum’- first do no harm”. One danger for this is iatrogenic harm resulting from incorrect mental health diagnoses for the reasons described in the first article of this five part series.

Hippocrates was also the first physician to describe the concept of prognosis. William Shakespeare, the greatest author who ever lived, who was also a spiritual master, famously alludes to this description when writing of Falstaff's death in Act II, Scene iii of 'Henry V'. Hippocrates also began to categorise illnesses, relapse, resolution, and crisis. Hippocrates said insightfully about poor mental health being mainly determined by who we are and what we do. “It is far more important to know what person the disease has than what disease the person has.” He told us that suffering is a great teacher, saying that “A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses.” With regard to spirituality, he said that “The Soul is the same in all living creatures, although the body of each is different.” Hippocratic medicine was humble and passive. The therapeutic approach was based on the 'healing power of Nature', also called Universal energy, or the divine, Hippocrates wrote that “The physician must be able to tell the antecedents with regard to disease“, for example childhood Trauma that is responsible for the reaction to adult stress. He said that “All disease begins in the gut.” This is echoed in Dr Gabor Maté’s thoughts where he says that authenticity (see below, which presents with our gut feelings) are ignored when they come into conflict with attachment to our parents. Hippocrates wrote that “What remains in diseases after the crisis is apt to produce relapses", for example of the original childhood Trauma. This is reflected in that what is unhealed in our childhood Trauma may end up with triggering during adult stress. Childhood Trauma can kill: Hippocrates wrote, in regards to psychology, that “All the most acute, most powerful, and most deadly diseases, and those which are most difficult to be understood by the inexperienced, fall upon the brain.” He wrote about wisdom that “Men ought to know that from nothing else but the brain come joys, delights, laughter and sports, and sorrows, griefs, despondency, and lamentations. And by this, in an especial manner, we acquire wisdom.” He continued about the ego mind that “By the same organ we become mad and delirious, and fears and terrors assail us, some by night, and some by day, and dreams and untimely wanderings, and cares that are not suitable, and ignorance of present circumstances, desuetude, and unskillfulness. All these things we endure from the brain, when it is not healthy.” Crucially, he said, recognising the Soul, and how it relates to the wisdom of the heart over the ego mind, that “Only a pure heart can recognise a beautiful and a happy Soul.” Ram Dass, the Harvard clinical psychology professor turned spiritual master, echoed, saying that “Faith is in the heart, while beliefs are in the head.”

The Hippocratic Oath states that “There is an art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon’s knife.” Hippocrates viewed healing as an art form, saying “But I will keep pure and holy both my life and my art.” As described in the first article in this series by Michael Singer, Hippocrates wrote that psychology is the sum of your learned experiences, saying that “Life is short, and Art long; the crisis fleeting; experience perilous.” All adult stress passes. All is well. The dawn always comes. Ram Dass said, with regard to perceived stress, that “Experiences come and go.”

After Hippocrates, another significant physician was Galen, a Greek who lived from AD 129 to AD 200. Galen perpetuated the tradition of Hippocratic medicine.

After the European Renaissance, Hippocratic methods were revived in western Europe and even further expanded in the 19th century. Notable among those who employed Hippocrates's rigorous clinical techniques were Thomas Sydenham, William Heberden, Jean-Martin Charcot, and William Osler. Henri Huchard, a French physician, said that these revivals make up "The whole history of internal medicine".

Stoicism is a philosophy that was born in ancient Athens around 2400 years ago, offering insights into healing. The Stoics emphasised that pain's intensity comes from our perception, not the external event, so we can control our response by accepting what happens and focusing on what is in our power: Our thoughts and judgements. The Stoics believed that it’s vital that people don’t react to events, but that instead people learn to respond to their perception of them: That perception or judgement is always up to the person - it is a choice, not an inevitable state of being. Epictetus wrote about perception that “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. It is not events that disturb people, but their judgements concerning them.” Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and philosopher, said that "The Universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” Seneca wrote that “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality," highlighting our tendency to create unnecessary suffering. The Stoics highlighted that embracing challenges instead of succumbing to a victim mentality can be transformative. They taught us that ‘The obstacle is the way.’ The Stoic protagonists explained that suffering can be endured and even used to strengthen us, turning obstacles into opportunities and finding peace by focusing on the present moment and within one’s Self.  Epictetus stated "Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it," reminding us that our actions speak louder than our words. For those interested in exploring Stoicism further, I recommend ‘Meditations’ by Marcus Aurelius and ‘The Obstacle is The Way’ by Ryan Holiday, both of which are in my ‘Suggested Reading’ list. 

There’s a connection between Stoic philosophy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), one of today’s most frequently used therapies. Psychologist Albert Ellis (1913-2007) founded the first type of CBT in the 1950s. He believed that people often have incorrect beliefs about situations they’re in. These beliefs lead to negative thinking, perceived ‘difficulties’, and unhappiness. But, using various methods that can be learned by anyone, these beliefs can often be challenged and seen from a different perspective, through deliberate decision. This means that ‘difficulties’ can be transformed. Ram Dass said about beliefs and spirituality, that “Faith is what is left after all your beliefs have been blown to hell.” Ram Dass echoed, saying that “Faith is in the heart, while beliefs are in the head.” Although Stoicism is millennia old, it is still completely relevant today. The happiness of your life depends upon your beliefs and the resulting quality of your thoughts.

Spirituality, mental health, and childhood Trauma

The greatest scientist of all time, Albert Einstein, wrote that “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind," It suggests that science and spirituality are complementary, with science providing understanding while spirituality offers a sense of purpose and direction.

Seventy-one percent of Americans believe in a Universal spirit or God, according to The Pew Charitable Trusts. The Harvard Catalyst Symposium explored how spirituality may affect our health. At the symposium Dr Alexandra Shields, HMS associate professor of medicine and director of the Harvard-MGH Center on Genomics, Vulnerable Populations and Health Disparities, said that when it comes to spirituality that "For those of us interested in reducing health disparities, this may be particularly important." She continued that "We can’t afford to ignore the potential effect of spirituality on mental health." One goal of the symposium was to begin building bridges between the Harvard medical faculty already engaged in this kind of research through discussion with the epidemiologists, spiritual leaders and guides (for examples Buddhist monks who had science PhDs), public health researchers, psychologists, and sociologists who were in attendance. The national and Harvard-wide experts in attendance included researchers who are tackling the challenges of measuring spirituality and those who are investigating the biological pathways through which spirituality, like stress-management and mindfulness techniques, may operate. They found that many patients who practice spirituality as part of their healing may feel “A surge within - a profound sense of power, a force beyond themselves.” Speaker Gloria White-Hammond told how she was a practicing paediatrician at the South End Community Health Center in Boston when, 20 years ago, she felt a calling to learn about spirituality. “I’ve learned a lot about myself as a spiritual BEing through my medical practice.”

The entire spiritual path to healing, which means ‘wholeness’, is one of dropping your ego and realising your Soul. But how can doctors who don’t believe in the Soul be expected to heal it? Most psychiatrists are ignorant of these concepts and never even talk about emotional pain during their consultations, so they only give you medicines, most of which they don’t quite know how they work pharmacologically, which may increase the risk of suicide (which I have experienced twice from psychiatric medication), and they may ask you to take them lifelong. This has been confirmed by Professor Bessel van der Kolk, the pioneering Dutch-American psychiatrist, researcher, and author, internationally renowned for his work on childhood Trauma, post-traumatic stress, and the author of the 'bible of Trauma', 'The Body Keeps The Score: Mind Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma', which is in my 'Suggested Reading' list, wrote that “Because drugs have become so profitable, major medical journals rarely publish studies on nondrug treatments of mental health problems. Practitioners who explore treatments are typically marginalised as 'alternative.' Studies of nondrug treatments are rarely funded unless they involve so-called manualised protocols, where patients and therapists go through narrowly prescribed sequences that allow little fine-tuning to individual patients’ needs. Mainstream medicine is firmly committed to a better life through chemistry, and the fact that we can actually change our own physiology and inner equilibrium by means other than drugs is rarely considered.”

I found that Professor van der Kolk's recommendations for treating childhood Trauma treatments, described in the first article in this five part series, as part of a psychospiritual approach, as I have described in my previous articles, were essential to my recovery. A psychospiritual approach results in transcendence, awakening, and Self-realisation, where, with time, you are able to fix your Self. In this place, if stress happens to us as adults, we can simply observe it and let it pass through us without storing it, without it causing reactivity, resentments, conflict, and emotional blockages (also known as Samskaras - emotional scars), which are all the cause of our refusal to accept reality without trying to control and change it (because we can’t as it has already happened). All our suffering is due to our resistance to pain and reality: Our failure to accept things as they are. If we do not accept things as they really are, we are incapacitated and powerless, being completely unable to surrender the part of us that needs to be removed, in other words our ego, blocking our spiritual growth, and our lives become completely unmanageable. This is not religion, it is psychospirituality. As Mahatma Ghandi wrote “God has no religion.” The whole spiritual path, and the recovery from spiritual bankruptcy, is a simple one of acceptance of reality, and surrendering our ego.

In a peer-reviewed article entitled ‘Psychology and Spirituality: Reviewing Developments in History, Method and Practice’ it states that “Within the positive psychology field, spirituality is considered as an aspect of the human experience, and often as a tool in the face of adversity, and as a compass for navigation of a fulfilled life.”

Having had psychiatric and psychotherapeutic care, it was simultaneous spiritual coaching that saved my life. Before then, I always felt that something was missing. I have deeply felt the effect that spirituality had in my healing from my mental health diagnoses, where medicine, psychiatry, and psychotherapy (I have had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy (REBT), psychoanalysis, and Psychodynamic Therapy (PT)) alone had all failed to improve my symptoms. My spirituality has been a great source of strength and courage to me, and it has sent me challenges to catalyse my evolution, growth, and personal transformation. These challenges are also sent with their solution to them. I have learned that "This too shall pass" and that "All is well" (see below). Psychology examines the ego, and is limited to doing only that. In my experience, psychology unravels you: Spirituality 'ravels you back up.' The problem with the ego, is that it is a liar, and always generates negative beliefs. The ego wants you dead. Fortunately, I found a psychiatrist who, like Jung, had a psychospiritual approach, who actually recommended that I read Jung's works, which I have done. My therapist had also taken his own journey of recovery: He was a wounded healer and Enlightened Witness. That is why I chose him, as it gave me trust in his guidance. Doctors must be 'wounded healers' in order to know the Truth. As the great poet Mark Nepo, says "The pain was necessary in order to know the Truth. But we don’t have to keep the pain alive in order to keep the Truth alive." This is so true! Building a trusting therapeutic relationship is crucial for effective Trauma treatment, and this can be challenging to achieve, according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH). 

Dr Edward Bach wrote that “Disease is, in essence, the result of conflict between the Soul and the (ego) mind , and will never be eradicated except by spiritual and mental effort.” We are all working towards our own mental health. A lack of unconditional love in childhood, what I perceive to be the basis of childhood Trauma, causes most emotional suffering and mental illnesses. It’s not by chance that the word 'evolve' contains the word 'love' in it. The mind is the dwelling place of the ego, which psychology largely primarily concerns itself with, and the heart is the dwelling place of the Soul.

The medical community's approach to Trauma doesn't always adequately address the spiritual or Soul-level aspects of healing due to several factors: Limited training in psychospiritual care; a focus on biomedical models; an abscence of lived experience; and a potential disconnect between clinical settings and patients' spiritual needs.

Again, it has been shown in many polls and studies that the vast majority of people are spiritual. Studies have shown that higher levels of spirituality are also strongly associated with a greater sense of meaning in life as well as higher levels of psychological and emotional well-being. In other words, people who hold a belief in some form of Higher Power, something more than who and what they are - whether defined as 'God', 'Brahma', 'Energy', 'Nature', the Universe, 'Source', 'Collective Consciousness', or 'Spirit' - are happier, healthier and even live longer. There has been a steady increase in people seeking out non-traditional, non-theistic, personalised paths to spiritual growth.

Psychiatry can trap patients in a state of victimhood as psychiatrists don’t always understand Trauma or psychospirituality. The state of victimhood in their patients prevents growth, evolution, and transformation, inhibiting healing and recovery from mental illness. Some people choose to remain a victim instead of doing the spiritual work required for them to heal, and this is tragically encouraged by some psychiatrists and psychotherapists (especially those working in the private industry), keeping people in their captivity as a 'life sentence', imprisoning them, subjugating them, binding them to them, and perpetuating their mental illness lifelong: Whereas, in stark contrast, in a psychospiritual coaching approach, the sessions are completed when the patient is healed and ready to fly! Jung wrote that “In the end no one can completely outgrow his personal limitations; everyone is more or less imprisoned by them - especially when he practices psychology.” 

Dr Jung, in his letter to Bill Wilson (who was the founder and author of the ‘Big Book’ of 12 step recovery), which was written in  1961, almost 65 years ago (one would think that the medical system should have caught up with this), wrote about healing that “The only right and legitimate way to such an experience is, that it happens to you in reality and it can only happen to you when you walk on a path, which leads you to a higher understanding. You might be led to that goal by an act of Grace or through a personal and honest contact with friends, or through a higher education of the mind beyond the confines of mere rationalism.”

The word 'healing' and the word 'holistic', both have their origins in 'to make whole.' Psychology without spirituality, is incomplete. You are far more than just a human being, you are a great BEing, a Soul, nothing less than God’s consciousness experiencing unconditional love and creation itself. So, why do you remain so small, and how may psychology alone, without a spiritual approach, collude in keeping you that way? Why live life in spiritual bankruptcy and spiritual dis-ease, when you can wake up to love, abundance, and wholeness? Why remain a captive victim of your ego mind's struggles, when you can be a victor through conscious connection to Jung's 'collective unconscious', Self-realisation, and liberation?

Professor van der Kolk, the doyen of Trauma, said that “Trauma produces actual physiological changes, including a recalibration of the brain’s alarm system, an increase in stress hormones." He continued about the various parts of our fractured psyches (our Higher Self, our inner child, and our shadow), reintegrating as unity consciousness to form our Soul, saying that “Once those protectors trust that it is safe, the Self will spontaneously emerge, and the parts can be enlisted in the healing process.”

A Soul-led addition to healing from childhood Trauma

Jung wrote about his role as a psychiatrist that “Thinking within the framework of the special task that is laid upon me: To be a proper psychiatrist is to be a healer of the Soul.” On psychotherapy, Jung wrote that “Therefore our Lord himself is a healer; he is a doctor; he heals the sick and he deals with the troubles of the Soul." Carl Jung knew God. And yet, somehow, some psychiatrists and psychotherapists still haven't caught on to the importance of spirituality to positive psychology with regards to fully recovering from mental illness. 'Psychospirituality' is the synthesis of modern positive psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. It may lead to healing of the mind, body and Soul, well-being, improved mental health, unconditional love, peace, joy, compassion, gratitude, meaning, purpose, and transcendence ('climbing beyond' internal conflict), awakening you to your true Self.

Ram Dass' philosophy on healing centres on embracing one's true, spiritual nature through love, awareness, and the willingness to transform from within, rather than trying to control other people or circumstances, which is futile. He said that “I can do nothing for you but work on myself: You can do nothing for me but work on yourself!” Key principles of his teaching include recognising one’s Self as a loving Soul, not just the ego-driven self, and understanding that suffering arises from resistance to life's unfolding experiences, as also described by Michael Singer and other spiritual masters. As in the opening paragraph of the first article in this five part series quotes Singer, Ram Dass said “Don’t take yourself so personally.”

Healing involves cultivating compassion, love, and connection with all beings as a path toward spiritual liberation and unity. In regard to healing, Ram Dass said that “All acts of healing are ultimately ourselves healing our Self. Together we are all on a journey called life. We are a little broken and a little shattered inside. Each one of us is aspiring to make it to the end. None is deprived of pain here and we have all suffered in our own ways. I think our journey is all about healing ourselves and healing each other in our own special ways. Let’s just help each other put all those pieces back together and make it to the end more beautifully. Let us help each other survive. Love is the most transformative medicine." He continued, saying that “Resistance (attachment and clinging) to the unpleasant situation is the root of suffering. Suffering only shows where you are attached. That is why, to those on the path, suffering is Grace.” He said about our preferences distorting reality that “As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be you can’t see how it is.” On the ego mind, as per Stoic philosophy described above, he said that “Pain is the mind. It's the thoughts of the mind. I love them to death! If you want to cure the world, don’t emanate fear – emanate love.” He continued “If somebody is a problem for you, it’s not that they should change, it’s that you need to change. If they’re a problem for themselves that’s their karma, if they’re causing you trouble that’s your problem with yourself.” He stated that we can choose who to be every day when we wake up: Our frightened ego or our Soul, and that this is what determines our perception and our subjective reality, saying that “Who you think you are each day, completely determines the Universe you live in. The Soul is composed of love, compassion, wisdom, peace, and joy. Those are all in us.” 

Buddhism and childhood Trauma

The Buddha said about the ego mind that “Your worst enemy cannot hurt you as much as your own thoughts, when you haven’t mastered them. But once mastered, no one can help you as much - not even your father and your mother. Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Suffering follows an evil thought as the wheels of a cart follow the oxen that draws it. People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don’t suffer anymore. Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free.” The Buddha explained the concepts surrounding childhood Trauma and our reaction to adult stress in the Buddhist 'Parable of the second arrow', which is about dealing with suffering more skilfully: The Buddhists say that any time we suffer misfortune, two arrows fly our way. Being struck by an arrow is painful. Being struck by a second arrow is even more painful. He said that “In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.”

Jack Kornfield wrote “The entire teaching of Buddhism can be summed up in this way: Nothing is worth holding on to.” The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go (which means to surrender our ego - the part of us that cannot accept reality) is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clinging and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit." This is key to transformation.

When the Buddha or Jesus walked into a new town, people would weep with joy, being unable to resist the light of their presence and transformation. They had no ego. It is the ego that clings - for fear of its dissolution. The Buddha saw himself as a healer, not a God. He was humble, and this accounted for his real Personal Power. As was the case for Jesus. The Buddha's Enlightenment resulted from his awakening the sleep of existential confusion. Buddha said that compassion moves you to embrace the anguish of others. The Buddha declared the central path through avoiding desire and preferences. Then describe the ‘The Four Noble Truths’: Those are suffering, understanding it’s origins (egocentric fear), it’s cessation (the action of letting go), and cultivation of the path leading to it’s cessation. Suffering, he said, is to be understood, its origins to be let go of, its cessation to be realised, and the path to be cultivated. It is by knowing these Truths can one claim to have found ‘authentic awakening.’ The Buddha woke up to the nature of the human condition and a way to its resolution. The first two truths (suffering and its origins) describe the dilemma and the 2nd two ‘Noble Truths’ (cessation and the path) its resolution. The Buddha acknowledged the existential condition of suffering. He found its origins in egocentric fear and insatiable craving (fuelling addiction and constant distraction from the ego mind). Our egocentric fears are the basis of all our resentments. When we are lost in illusion, we preoccupy ourselves in something else, rather than embracing and understanding the fears, practising acceptance and surrender. He suggested that dharma practice was a course of action. Stress and anxiety only maintain their power as long as we allow ourselves to be intimidated by them and choose a victim role.

The Buddha said “Understand me.” Worry is about as useless as a rocking chair - it keeps you occupied, but it gets you nowhere. To understand a worry, anxiety, or adult stress and the fears from previous childhood Trauma that underpin them; and deeply knowing that all emotions are like a wave that passes: In other words that ‘This too shall pass', by remaining fully present, was Buddha’s path to healing. He said that “No conditions are permanent." To misunderstand the worry is to freeze it, by ‘clinging to it’ (as the Buddhists say), which induces in turn the emotions of feeling psychologically blocked and obsessed. The longer this state persists, the more we become incapable of action. The challenge of the first ‘Noble Truth’ is to act before habitual stress reactions incapacitate us. Letting go is an action. To let go is like releasing a snake that you have been clutching in your hand. Letting go of our self-centred fear generates peace and allows us to realise the ease of the central path. This allows us to see with clarity the illusory nature of our misguided ‘reality.’ In revealing life in all its vulnerability, it becomes the doorway to compassion.

‘The path’ is an authentic way of Being in the world. Buddhism, like psychospirituality, is a contemplative psychotherapeutic system, a metaphysical philosophy, a meditative and mindful way of life, a treatment for the human condition, supporting the individual path to healing, teaching compassion, and a culture of awakening one’s true Self.

The Dalai Lama said, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion". The very term ‘Buddhism’ was an invention of Western scholars. Christians in particular seek to enter into dialogue with their Buddhist brethren. There is much common ground between the teachings of Christ and the Buddha. Buddhism’s relevance to childhood Trauma is that it solely deals with suffering, to let go of (surrender) its origins (our egocentric fears), to realise its cessation, and brings into being a way of life. There is strong parallel to the Christian prayer, used as the step three prayer: “God, I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt (surrender). Relieve me of the bondage of self (egocentric fear), that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties (suffering), that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life.” Jung was heavily influenced by the philosophies and metaphorical teachings of Jesus. The difference between us and Jesus was that he came solely from a place of love.

Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, prolific author, and spiritual teacher, known as the ‘Father of mindfulness’, who was a major influence on Western practices of Buddhism, wrote that “Sometimes our parents are full of love and sometimes they are full of anger. This love and anger comes not only from them, but from all previous generations. When we can see this, we no longer blame our parents for our suffering.”

Jesus and childhood Trauma

Jesus, the Messiah, philosopher, teacher of wisdom, supercoach, and the greatest spiritual master, taught us forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, and unconditional love, similarly to the Buddhists. He encouraged a focus on self-reflection and empathy rather than hatred, judgement, and criticism. In Luke 6:38 he said "With what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." In the historic ‘Sermon on the Mount’, which distilled his thoughts on judgement that all are advised to follow, Jesus said, in Matthew 7:2, "For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged" These quotes encourages individuals and institutions to be cautious and mindful of their actions, words, and complaints, as they have a direct impact on how they are treated themselves, by others, and by God. Jesus was teaching that the way you criticise or evaluate others will be the way you are evaluated and will be treated.

There is an unarguable spiritual Truth “No God, no peace: Know God, know peace.”

As is written in ‘The Complete Conversations with God’ by Neale Donald Walsch, which is in my ‘Suggested Reading’ list, “For it is the nature of people to love, then destroy, then love again that which they value most.” This was exemplified in the experience of Jesus. He was loved, then hated, then loved again. He was loved as he taught unconditional love, compassion, and forgiveness. He was then hated as this teaching undermined those institutions which thought that they were in a position of power, the 'authorities' (yes, every era has them), which felt threatened by his real Personal Power, so they crucified him. How can an institution be afraid of one man? Ironically his crucifixion and consequent resurrection propelled him to a sacred status and divine power that still greatly influences to this day and will forever more. The crucifixion is a metaphor for the death of the ego mind. The resurrection is our connection to a Higher Power. Jesus was then loved again as his life was transformational to those who follow him on the spiritual path. Jesus was a supercoach. "Forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34 ) was part of a prayer offered by Jesus while he was being crucified. This statement emphasises forgiveness, even for those who are causing great harm, highlighting the idea that their actions stem from ignorance, a lack of understanding, and an absence of compassion. Jesus was pure unconditional love. In 1 John 4:18 Jesus said that "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love."

Jack Kornfield wrote “Live in joy, in love, even among those who hate. In this world, hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is the ancient and eternal law.”

Neale Donald Walsch is a modern day spiritual messenger whose words continue to touch the world in profound ways. With an early interest in religion and a deeply felt connection to spirituality, Neale spent the majority of his life thriving professionally, yet searching for spiritual meaning. Walsch's vision is an expansion, unification, and distillation of all present theologies to render them more relevant to our present day and time. He said that "The fastest way to apply anything in your life is to help others to apply it." This means that by assisting others in applying the wisdom you've learned, you simultaneously deepen your own understanding and application of it, reflecting the spiritual belief that "We are all one": No man is an island.

Jesus's invitation, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28-30), is seen as a powerful promise of a safe place for those carrying the heavy burdens of Trauma. In John 5:4 Jesus said "Every child of God can defeat the world, and our Faith is what gives us this victory."

Dr Jung thought that Jesus was a great philosopher who taught us many timeless truths, and who has much to teach the world of psychology. Jung viewed Jesus's life and teachings as a powerful archetype, a symbolic representation of the transformative process of 'individuation', of becoming whole, and of being healed through the reunification of the fractured psyche, as the true Self. In the Bible, in Mark 5:34, Jesus said "Your Faith has made thee whole."

You have a divine nature

Although you may not think so yet, remember that you are the Messiah. That is what I see in you. That is the basis of my coaching. I see, hear, and recognise the Messiah in you until you do so for your Self. Some religions say that your Soul enters ‘Heaven’ when you die. Or that a future Messiah will save us and lead us all into ‘Heaven’. You may give birth to your Soul right now, your very Being. I believe that ‘Heaven’ is on Earth and is within you - the seat of your Soul. It is the divine in you. Matthew recorded in the Bible in 16:16 “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." The crucifixion and resurrection are a metaphor for the rebirth of the real you. Jesus said in John 14:12 "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these." Jesus said in Luke 17:21 that "The Kingdom of God is within you" and suggests that God's Kingdom is not a physical place or a future event, but rather an internal state of Being. It implies that the principles of God's reign, such as love, peace, compassion, forgiveness, and abundance, can be experienced within individuals who align their lives with these values. This concept is central to the philosophy of Leo Tolstoy, the Russian writer, who was regarded as one of the greatest and most influential authors of all time, who explored it in his book entitled ‘The Kingdom of God is Within You’. Tolstoy suggested that this inner transformation would lead to a transformation of institutions and society. Mahatma Gandhi, a key figure in the Indian independence movement, was deeply influenced by Tolstoy's philosophy and the concept of the Kingdom of God within, using nonviolent resistance as a central tenet of his own political activism. 

Marianne Williamson, the contemporary spiritual teacher and presidential candidate, agrees, saying that there is a Messiah in each of us. Finding and connecting with that ´Higher Power’ is the only way out of our limited ego mind and suffering and that is the whole purpose of our spiritual quest and our ‘Hero’s Journey’. It is why we are here and is the unique purpose of each of our lives. She said that "Everyone is on a spiritual path; most people just don't know it." This idea, which she developed further to define the spiritual path as "The unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love," emphasises that every life involves a journey of personalised and tailor-made spiritual growth, whether or not one recognises it as such.

The importance of the ‘Enlightened Witness’ 

Alice Miller, the psychologist, psychoanalyst and philosopher, who specialised in childhood Trauma, wrote that "Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: The emotional discovery and emotional acceptance of the Truth in the individual and unique history of our childhood Trauma." Core to Miller's writings was that the suppression of childhood Truths (which perpetuates the psychological groundwork for violence, interpersonal conflict, war, mental illness, and systemic cruelty) is both a crime against humanity and a universal and enduring taboo against the true Self, by privileging the authority of parents, tradition, religion, morality, or society over the needs of children. She maintained that all instances of mental illness, addiction, and crime were ultimately caused by suppressed rage and pain as a result of subconscious childhood Trauma that was not resolved emotionally or assisted by a helper, which she came to term an 'Enlightened Witness.'

According to Miller, mental health professionals were also creatures of the poisonous pedagogy, being internalised in their own childhoods. She also criticised psychotherapists' advice to clients to forgive their abusive parents, arguing that this could only hinder recovery through remembering and feeling childhood pain. It was her contention that the majority of therapists fear this truth. She believed that forgiveness did not resolve hatred, but covered it in a dangerous way in the grown adult: Displacement on scapegoats instead, as she discussed in her psycho-biographies of Adolf Hitler and Jürgen Bartsch, both of whom she described as having suffered severe childhood Trauma.

In her first book (also published under the titles 'Prisoners of Childhood' and 'The Drama of Being a Child'), Miller defined and elaborated the personality manifestations of childhood Trauma. She addressed the two reactions to the loss of love in childhood, depression and grandiosity; the inner prison, the vicious circle of contempt, repressed memories, the aetiology of depression, and how childhood Trauma manifests itself in the adult. She wrote "Quite often I have been faced with patients who have been praised and admired for their talents and their achievements (such as doctors and lawyers). According to prevailing, general attitudes these people - the pride of their parents - should have had a strong stable sense of self-assurance. But exactly the opposite is the case. In my work with these people, I found that every one of them has a childhood history that seems significant to me. There was a mother who at the core was emotionally insecure, and who depended for her narcissistic equilibrium on the child behaving, or acting, in a particular way. This mother was able to hide her insecurity from the child and from everyone else behind a hard, authoritarian and even totalitarian façade. This child had an amazing ability to perceive and respond intuitively, that is, unconsciously, to this need of the mother or of both parents, for him to take on the role that had unconsciously been assigned to him. This role secured 'love' for the child - that is, his parents' exploitation. He could sense that he was needed, and this need, guaranteed him a measure of existential security. This ability is then extended and perfected. Later, these children not only become mothers (confidantes, advisers, supporters) of their own mothers, but also take over the responsibility for their siblings and eventually develop a special sensitivity to unconscious signals manifesting the needs of others (such as doctors and their patients)".

Her book 'Thou Shalt Not Be Aware', unlike Miller's later books, was written in a semi-academic style. It was her first critique of psychoanalysis, charging it with being similar to the poisonous pedagogies, which she described in 'For Your Own Good'. Miller was critical of Sigmund Freud. She scrutinised Freud's drive theory, a device that, according to her and Jeffrey Masson, blames the child for the abusive sexual behaviour of adults. Miller also theorised about Franz Kafka, who was abused by his father but fulfilled the politically correct function of mirroring abuse in metaphorical novels, instead of exposing it. In the chapter entitled 'The Pain of Separation and Autonomy,' Miller examined the authoritarian (e.g.: Old Testament, Papist, Calvinist) interpretation of Judeo-Christian theism and its parallels to modern parenting practice, asserting that it was Jesus's father Joseph who should be credited with Jesus's departure from the dogmatic Judaism of his time. Her book 'The Untouched Key' was partly a psychobiography of Nietzsche, Picasso, Kollwitz and Buster Keaton; (in Miller's later book, 'The Body Never Lies', published in 2005, she included similar analyses of Dostoyevsky, Chekhov, Schiller, Rimbaud, Mishima, Proust, and James Joyce). According to Miller, Nietzsche did not experience a loving family and his philosophical output was a metaphor of an unconscious drive against his family's oppressive theological tradition. She believed that his philosophical system was flawed because Nietzsche was unable to make emotional contact with the abused child inside him. Though Nietzsche was severely punished by a father who lost his mind when Nietzsche was a little boy, Miller did not accept the genetic theory of madness. She interpreted Nietzsche's psychotic breakdown as the result of a family tradition of Prussian modes of child-rearing.

In her more personal book 'Banished Knowledge' Miller said that she herself was abused as a child. She also introduced the fundamental concept of the 'Enlightened Witness': A person who was willing to support a harmed individual, empathise with her and help her to gain understanding of her own biographical past. 'Banished Knowledge' is autobiographical in another sense. It is a pointer in Miller's thoroughgoing apostasy from her own profession - psychoanalysis. She believed that society was colluding with Freud's theories in order to not know the truth about our childhood, a truth that human cultures have 'banished.' She concluded that the feelings of guilt instilled in our minds since our most tender years reinforce our repression even in the psychoanalytic profession.

In her book 'Breaking Down The Wall of Silence', written in the aftermath of the fall of the Berlin Wall, Miller took to task the entirety of human culture. What she called the 'wall of silence' is the metaphorical wall behind which society - academia, institutions, psychiatrists, politicians, the legal profession, and members of the media - has sought to protect itself: Denying the mind-destroying effects of childhood Trauma.

Compassion and healing from childhood Trauma

Dr Maté described the 5 levels of compassion as being essential to healing, as described by him in the video below. The highest level of compassion is the compassion of possibility: When you look at even the most rejected person you see them without judgement as the full human being that they are and that can be manifested. You are aware of that possibility. This is the level of compassion that I aim for in Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). I see and speak to the highest version of you and it brings it to life for you, into Being, and free of ego.

The 'Five Levels of Compassion' by Dr Gabor Maté

Dr Maté writes about compassion during healing from childhood Trauma that “The acronym COAL has been proposed for this attitude of compassionate curiosity: Curiosity; Openness; Acceptance; and Love.”

The psychologist Jack Kornfield, another doyen of childhood Trauma, who is also a renowned teacher of Buddhist philosophy, wrote “Right before anger arises, there is often a sense of hurt or fear or loss. When you can feel that, you can notice how little compassion or kindness you have for yourself and others. When we feel fear or when we feel pain or when we feel hurt, our response is often anger, but what is most healing is to acknowledge the anger and to notice what causes it, and to hold that in our attention.” This is how we heal: By realising that our fear, resentments, and emotional disturbance originate in ourselves, not because of others or situations.

Mahatma Gandhi, a great leader who espoused the power of embracing vulnerability, had a philosophy which emphasised finding the divine in even the most seemingly insignificant or ‘lowly’ individuals. This is the highest level of compassion. Gandhi believed in the inherent worth of every human being and strived to uplift everyone, demonstrating a profound respect for the dignity of all. This is reflected in his concept of Sarvodaya, which means ‘uplift of all.’ Gandhi's vision of Sarvodaya was about the spiritual development of every individual. Gandhi wrote that "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding." Gandhi advocated forgiveness as a way to break the cycle of violence and hatred. Forgiveness, both of oneself and others, can be a crucial step in healing from childhood Trauma, freeing ourselves from our emotional pain, and building a more peaceful future.

Kornfield offers insights on healing from Trauma, emphasising the importance of feeling, compassion, and of present moment awareness. Kornfield's recommendations often focus on confronting and processing past experiences with kindness and self-compassion, rather than avoidance. He said that "You can't heal it until you feel it." This quote underscores the necessity of acknowledging and experiencing the pain associated with childhood Trauma, rather than suppressing it. He wrote "Hold it gently. Let it be honoured. You do not have to keep it in anymore. This highlights the difference between letting go and actively resisting or suppressing difficult emotions."

Sigmund Freud talked about resistance, denial, suppression, and repression being unhealthy coping mechanisms. Carl Jung wrote "What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size". Kornfield said that "Letting go is not the same as aversion, struggling to get rid of something." This quote encourages a gentle approach to Trauma, suggesting that it can be held with compassion and released rather than resisted. Kornfield added "When we let go of yearning for the future, preoccupation with the past, and strategies to protect the present, there is nowhere left to go but where we are." This quote encourages focusing on the present moment as a way of releasing us and freeing us from the grip of the past. Akshay Dubey said that “Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.”

Authenticity

Lorraine Nilon wrote “The initial Trauma of a young child may go underground but it will return to haunt us.” Dave Pelzer, whose memoir ‘A Child Called "It": One Child's Courage to Survive’ was listed on The New York Times Best Seller list for several years, wrote "Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of their Soul."

Our parents may love us, but not enough for us to be who we truly are, in other words, they love us conditionally and create unhealthy expectations for us. This need for us to choose attachment to our parents in order to survive when very young over our authenticity, as frequently referred to by Dr Maté, creates the ego mask, which can be deadly, as well as our ‘shadow’.

Donna Jackson said that "The past can tick away inside us for decades like a silent time bomb, until it sets off a cellular message that lets us know the body does not forget the past". James Garbarino echoed “The initial Trauma of a young child may go underground but it will return to haunt us.” Bessel van der Kolk wrote “Traumatised people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies. The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become experts at ignoring their gut feelings and numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” They become inauthentic.

You are a human Being, not a human doing. The irony is that people wear masks as their deepest fear is that they are unlovable and they believe that the persona that they try to create will make them lovable: Whereas the Truth is that being authentic makes you both rare and more loveable! Authenticity makes you effulgent. Childhood Trauma blinds you to this.

Surrender of your ego is like cutting the anchoring ropes holding an air balloon to the ground; allowing you to rise effortlessly. Conversely, if you do not surrender your ego, as it states in the Bible in Genesis 3:19, you will work by “The sweat of your brow."

Wisdom and healing

The other risk with therapy is that a therapist who has learned their career from books is very limited in their ability to heal: One has to be a ‘wounded healer’ to truly help others. The therapist must have taken the journey of healing themselves in order to guide someone through the pathway to healing from childhood Trauma. Without this, there is no understanding, compassion, wisdom, or trust.

Wisdom, not knowledge, is needed to recover from childhood Trauma. Wisdom comes from taking the spiritual journey. This is why those who have not walked the path cannot heal themselves or help others to recover. You can't teach wisdom. Wisdom can never be gained through studying books. True wisdom will be found in your heart when you take the inner journey. Wisdom is a feeling. The heart is where our feelings reside.

As Aristotle wrote "Knowing your Self is the beginning of all wisdom.” The inscription "Know thyself" (gnothi seauton) was inscribed in stone at the entrance to the ancient Greek Temple of Apollo at Delphi, a prominent maxim among a set of precepts known as the Delphic maxims. This ancient philosophical advice, traditionally attributed to the Seven Sages of Greece, encouraged introspection and Self-awareness, urging people to identify with their true Self. Plato, in the 4th century BC, reinterpreted it to mean a deeper understanding of one’s inner self and psyche, awakening to consciousness as one's Soul. Socratic philosophy took this maxim seriously, believing that understanding oneself is the first step to wisdom. Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet "To thine own self be true." This advice, spoken by the character Polonius to his son, conveys the importance of self-honesty, authenticity, and integrity, all traits that are essential to healing, implying that to be true to oneself, one must first understand who that Self is. The idea of Self-awareness continues to be explored across various disciplines, including positive psychology, psychospirituality, philosophy, and literature, and is a central theme in discussions about personal growth and spiritual evolution.

Herman Hesse wrote in his brilliant transformative book, 'Siddhartha,’ which is in my 'Suggested Reading' list, that “Wisdom cannot be imparted. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else. Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.” Your own mind stands in the way of a clear view of God. Meher Baba said “Man minus mind equals God.” Your mind gives you clouded perception: This leads to fear, anger, blame, insecurity, conflict and war. Go with feelings - they will lead you to wisdom. It’s a short journey from the head to the heart, and yet it is the journey of a lifetime.

Wisdom is so much more important than knowledge. Wisdom is invaluable: Bob Marley sang “Don't gain the world and lose your Soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold.” Your Soul is the ultimate guide to wisdom. I believe that wisdom is the divine intuition and clarity that your Soul receives when you are fully present, such as during meditation. Wisdom is a distinctly human trait. Wisdom can not be generated by Artificial Intelligence (AI). Ram Dass said that  “Information is just bits of data. Knowledge is putting them together. Wisdom is transcending them.” Transcendence is to heal.

Marcel Proust, one of the greatest French authors, considered by critics and writers to be one of the most influential authors of the twentieth century, wrote that “We do not receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness, which no one else can make for us, which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world.”

The only true sin is not to fulfil your highest potential. Transcendence is also our only key to fully healing. Those who are blind to this will suffer for the rest of their lives, unless they wake up to this timeless Truth, which has been stated and repeated throughout human history to this day, but has not been heard except by those with wisdom.

Wisdom gives a programme for living. It gives a programme for healing. The 'Serenity Prayer', the central prayer of the 12 steps of recovery, is a short, well-known prayer for guidance and peace in facing any difficult situation, which asks for the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference. Stop and relax, in order to contemplate, reflect on, and always let go of, what you cannot change. You cannot, and should not, even try to change others. This was taught by the great Stoic philosophers such as Seneca, Epictetus, and emperor Marcus Aurelius over two millennia ago in ancient Greece and in the Roman Empire, and holds true to this day, with all wise influential contemporary leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr. and presidents keeping Aurelius' book ‘Meditations’, which is in my ‘Suggested Reading’ list, close at hand. Aurelius’ writings have also been praised and recognised for the deep timeless Truths that they contain by authors, philosophers, monarchs, and spiritual teachers. Aurelius was the last of the rulers later known as the Five Good Emperors and the last emperor of the Pax Romana, an age of peace for the Roman Empire.

Meaning 

We each have a divine purpose. It's our spiritual blueprint. It gives us purpose and meaning. Childhood Trauma can shatter a person's worldview and sense of meaning. Spirituality can play a significant role in Trauma treatment by providing a framework for healing. It can offer a sense of meaning, purpose, and connection, which can be particularly helpful when dealing with the enduring chaos and aftermath of childhood Traumatic experiences.

Dr Maté writes “Like our other needs, meaning is an inherent expectation. Its denial has dire consequences. Far from a purely psychological need, our hormones and nervous systems clock its presence or absence. As a medical study in 2020 found, the 'Presence of and search for meaning in life are important for health and well-being.' Simply put, the more meaningful you find your life, the better your measures of mental and physical health are likely to be. It is itself a sign of the times that we even need such studies to confirm what our experience of life teaches. When do you feel happier, more fulfilled, more viscerally at ease: When you extend yourself to help and connect with others, or when you are focused on burnishing the importance of your little egoic self? We all know the answer, and yet somehow what we know doesn't always carry the day. Corporations are ingenious at exploiting people's needs without actually meeting them. Naomi Klein, in her book 'No Logo', made vividly clear how big business began in the 1980s to home in on people's natural desire to belong to something larger than themselves. Brand-aware companies such as Nike, Lululemon, and the Body Shop are marketing much more than products: They sell meaning, identification, and an almost religious sense of belonging through association with their brand. 'That presupposes a kind of emptiness and yearning in people,' I suggested when I interviewed the prolific author and activist. 'Yes,' Klein replied. 'They tap into a longing and a need for belonging, and they do it by exploiting the insight that just selling running shoes isn't enough. We humans want to be part of a transcendent project.'"

Dr Maté continued "'When people start to lose a sense of meaning and get disconnected, that's where disease comes from, that's where breakdown in our health - mental, physical, social health - occurs,' the psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and world expert on childhood Trauma, Professor Bruce Perry told me. If a gene or virus were found that caused the same impact on the population's well-being as disconnection does, news of it would bellow from front-page headlines. Because it transpires on so many levels and so pervasively, we almost take it for granted; it is the water we swim in.” Professor Perry wrote the brilliant book 'What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing', which is in my 'Suggested Reading' list.

Adversity and suffering as catalysts for transformation 

Many emphasise that trauma, while a painful experience, can also be a catalyst for personal growth, spiritual growth, spiritual evolution, and spiritual awakening. Key ideas include the idea that wounds can be openings for light and that healing is a journey of reclaiming one's true Self, resolving the disconnection and fragmentation of the psyche that Dr Maté talked about above. Rumi famously said that "The wound is the place where the light enters you." Recovering from childhood Trauma is Soul work. Kahlil Gibran said beautifully that "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest Souls." For my article 'Psychospirituality: Turn Your Struggling Into Strength, Your Suppression to Surrender, Your Suffering Into a Superpower, Serenity, and Spiritual Sustenance' click here. For my experience of this, which I have shared in my article 'My Perspectives on How To Face, Survive, and Thrive Through Challenges in Life', click here.

Dr Peter Levine, who has spent almost five decades studying childhood Trauma, wrote that “The paradox of Trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to transform and resurrect. The effects of unresolved Trauma can be devastating." He said that "Trauma is ‘Hell’ on Earth. Trauma resolved is a gift from the Gods.” Resurrection, a metaphor for rebirth and awakening, is the domain of Enlightenment. For my free eBook on 'Enlightenment' click here. He continued that "Not only can trauma be healed, but with appropriate guidance and support, it can be transformative. Trauma has the potential to be one of the most significant forces for psychological, social, and spiritual awakening and evolution". Levine continued "I have come to the conclusion that human beings are born with an innate capacity to triumph over Trauma. I believe not only that Trauma is curable, but that the healing process can be a catalyst for profound awakening - a portal opening to emotional and genuine spiritual transformation. I have little doubt that as individuals, families, communities, and even nations, we have the capacity to learn how to heal and prevent much of the damage done by Trauma. In so doing, we will significantly increase our ability to achieve both our individual and collective dreams. Although humans rarely die from Trauma, if we do not resolve it, our lives can be severely diminished by its effects. Some people have even described this situation as a 'living death'."

Professor Perry wrote that “Because what I know for sure is that everything that has happened to you was also happening for you. And all that time, in all of those moments, you were building strength. Strength times strength times strength equals power. What happened to you can be your (super)power.”

Dr Jung described how childhood Trauma, through your Higher Self, sends you obstacles to redirect your path to your true divine purpose, which is your primary purpose. He spoke with wisdom and Truth, however unpalatable it might be to the asleep, unaware, conditioned person.

Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the extraordinarily compassionate and insightful psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, who also described the highly cited five stages of grief model (grief is a process of acceptance), wrote that “Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.” Honesty, openness, vulnerability, humility, and authenticity, as an adult in the face of an emotionally abusive childhood, are superpowers that give you real Personal Power. Click here for my further articles on the power of humility and vulnerability. Once you open this gate of how to live, which is unsurpassably courageous, it radiates light from you (the light of Being), making you truly beautiful, and you effortlessly attract, implicitly invite, and allow others to do the same: When you open the gate to your heart, they will naturally follow, which opens their floodgate to the power of vulnerability. In contrast; the masks that people wear because of parental and societal conditioning, leading to addiction to external validation, creates expectations are deadly.

'Resilience' is egocentric boll@cks

‘Resilience’ as a form of power is egoic boll@cks, being willpower based, which is an impoverished, limited, minuscule, and exhausting form of power, with a small p, as opposed to real Personal Power with capital Ps, and cited by those who are deeply asleep and have no awareness of these Truths. Ernest Hemingway wrote “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills.” This suggests that those people who talk about resilience are completely wrong. Everyone breaks. It’s how you recover that matters and resilience actually means how you spring back into shape, like a reed, unlike the stiff oak which cracks, breaks and dies. Healing,which is a return to wholeness, is a choice that everyone can make, but not everyone chooses to. Remaining asleep is easy, but dangerous to you and others. Those who think that they are the most resilient always judge others through projection as described by Dr Jung, and, as Hemingway states, they always die of this flaw eventually, by not looking inwards and healing themselves.

All is well

The nature of Christian belief was revealed to Julian of Norwich, who was also known as Juliana of Norwich, as she was female, in a vision. She was highly revered and is considered a saint by many. She is known for her wisdom. It is very reassuring, transformational and universal. She gave us hope and Faith. Faith and fear do not live in the same house. Love dissolves fear. Juliana's writings, now known as 'Revelations of Divine Love', are the earliest surviving English-language works attributed to a woman. In 1373, aged 30 and so seriously ill she thought she was on her deathbed, Julian received a series of visions or of the Passion of Christ. As he held a crucifix above the foot of her bed, she began to lose her sight and feel physically numb, but gazing on the crucifix she saw the figure of Jesus begin to bleed. Over the next several hours, she had a series of fifteen visions of Jesus, and a 16th the following night. In her book, she noted one of her visions, her most famous quote: Her full quote, from her visions where Jesus spoke to her, included the profound statement  "All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well", indicating hope and reassurance during suffering, and is a key realisation and component of spiritual awakening. This statement was also lead to a profound understanding of Jesus's and God's persistent unconditional love and power to transform suffering into a path to salvation, exactly replicating Buddha’s ‘Four Noble Truths’. She also wrote that in one of her visions that God is love, allowing for the concept of a spiritual rather than a psychological ‘Higher Power’ - the Soul that is essential to the first three of the 12 steps of addiction recovery.

Juliana of Norwich wrote about another vision that “You would know our Lord's meaning in this thing? Know it well. Love was His meaning. Who showed it to you? Love. What did He show you? Love. Why did He show it? For love. Hold on to this and you will know and understand love more and more. But you will not know or learn anything else – ever." Juliana lived in a time of turmoil, but her theology was optimistic and spoke of God's omnibenevolence and love in terms of joy and compassion. These were key themes of Jesus’ philosophy of life. A characteristic element of Julian's mystical theology was her equating divine love with motherly love, a theme found in the Biblical prophets, as in Isaiah 49:15. This is astonishing as it relates directly to an understanding of what unconditional love is and that it may be received from our mother or from God. According to Julian, God is both our mother and our father. this idea was also developed by Bernard of Clairvaux, venerated as Saint Bernard, the co-founder of the Knights Templar, who were associated with the Holy Grail, said to be a chalice with miraculous healing powers. The Grail was said to be Jesus's cup from the Last Supper, which Joseph of Arimathea used to catch Christ's blood at the crucifixion.

Julian of Norwich’s most cited quote is also repeated by Anthony De Mello, the psychotherapist and spiritual master and teacher, combining Eastern and Western philosophies of wisdom and Self-mastery, revealing the influence of Buddhist and Taoist spiritual currents, along with Christian spirituality, with his view of Jesus as "A spiritual master", in his highly recommended book ‘Awareness’, which is in my ‘Suggested Reading’ list which begins “All is well”. This centres on his core assertion that you and I are okay exactly as we are, reflected in Michael Singer’s philosophy to mental wellbeing described above. He says that spirituality very simply means ‘waking up’; in essence the transformation (Jung’s ‘individuation’) from the ego mind (crucifixion) to the birth (resurrection) of Being and awareness of the Higher Self’s consciousness. De Mello states that “Most people, even though they don’t know it, are asleep. They’re born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep without ever waking up.” In other words, they remain stuck in their fearful, lying, hateful, resentful, and small ego mind. 

Marianne Williamson said that "Only love is real," and she frequently uses and promotes the core idea in relation to this, from 'A Course in Miracles, which states, "Only love is real. Everything else is an illusion". She elaborates on this by explaining that anything not rooted in love - such as fear, guilt, or trauma - is not part of our ultimate reality but rather a mental construct that can be overcome. She contrasts love with fear, explaining that fear is an illusion and not our ultimate reality, suggesting that activating love causes fear to disappear. for Williamson, the phrase "Only love is real" serves as a reminder that our focus should be on love, as it is the only eternal and true aspect of existence, while all forms of fear, judgement, and negativity are temporary illusions that we can transcend, which originates in the Latin for 'climb beyond.' When she said that "Only love is real. Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal (ie. fear) exists. Herein lies the peace of God." Fear comes from our ego, which is our petrified inner child, and our shadow, which is an archetype of the collective unconscious, described by Dr Jung., which is where he departed from the philosophy of Sigmund Freud, which was responsible for their falling out. Jung was not swayed by Freud's archaic approach.

Daily spiritual practices and creativity as part of spiritual healing 

The Buddha said that “Anxiety, the illness of our time, comes primarily from our inability to dwell in the present moment. Do not lose yourself in the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. Do not get caught in your anger, worries, or fears. Come back to the present moment, and touch life deeply. This is mindfulness.” Clarity and intuition may be found during meditation and mindfulness. Meditation is the laboratory of the Soul.

Ram Dass said that "Cultivating your intuitive wisdom will find a quiet place in the heart of your being that is wise and can guide your actions." Ram Dass said that our psychological suffering is up to each of us, not others, and comes from not living in the present, saying that “Getting caught up in memories of the past or worrying about the future is a form of self-imposed suffering.” 

'Sat-Chit-Ananda' (Eternal Conscious Ecstasy) refers to a spiritual concept of unending, profound bliss and rapture, often described as a state of ultimate realisation where peace and delight are one, as articulated in the philosophy of Sri Aurobindo and the experiences of various spiritual traditions. This experience involves an intense, inner state of Being, transcending ordinary consciousness, and is achieved through practices such as meditation, yoga, which are both recommended in Professor van der Kolk's Bible of Trauma and although it is also a hallmark of Christian and spiritual traditions.

The untreated Traumas of childhood become the frustrating stresses, conflicts, and dramas of adulthood. One is not defined by past Traumas, but by the choices made in the present to heal, evolve, transform, and grow, even amidst fear and pain. Inner strength, paradoxically found by being courageous enough to be vulnerable, is found by disidentifying with our asleep, fearful ego mind, and reconnecting with, and resurrecting, our authentic subconscious Jungian Higher Power - the seat of our Soul, and with others. Acceptance and surrender are essential themes of the spiritual journey.

With patience, Self-compassion, and Self-love, survivors of childhood Trauma can integrate their psyche's fragmented parts to become whole, mindful, fully alive, and aware. Daily spiritual practices including prayer, meditation, mindfulness, breathwork (take three deep mindful breaths, in through your nose, allowing your belly to rise and fully expand), spending time in Nature (which is where you feel God's omnipresence, with the acronym GOD standing for 'Great Out-Doors'), journalling, and creative pursuits, and other 'shadow work' tools are very powerful tools aiding recovery from emotional suffering and healing. On Nature,Gandhi said “When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my Soul expands in the worship of the creator.”

Final words

Joseph Campbell, the author of the 'Hero's Journey', wrote "The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are." He continued "Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. Your sacred space is where you can find your Self again and again. All the Gods, all the 'Heavens', all the 'Hells', are within you." 

The Gnostic Gospels state that "If you bring forth that which is within you, then that which is within you will be your salvation. If you do not bring forth that which is within you, then that which is within you will destroy you." Your Higher Power, inner child, and your shadow are within you and reside in your subconscious. By shining a light on them, they are awakened, transformed, and result in unity consciousness. It's your choice to turn inward, harness your combined powers of the integrated parts of your psyche, and transcend your fears, resolve your emotional suffering, and heal mental illness.

Bringing Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Brené Brown wrote that “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.”

Do you want to heal? Or do you want to keep bothering yourself about the moment in front of you? You will come to realise, as Anaïs Nin, the French-born American who studied psychoanalysis, wrote “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” This is why you must hit a 'rock bottom', where your life has fallen apart as a result of your failure to do the inner work on your .ego, your Higher Power, and your shadow.

We rarely embark on this 'Hero's Journey' unless our emotional pain exceeds the pain of passing through your 'Dark Night of The Soul', which is essential to Self-realisation. Less than ten percent of people embark on this jounrey of awakening and healing, being stuck in their ego. Some people awaken on their death bed., which is more than a little late. Do you want to be in that ten percent who are healed? They regret not doing it sooner. In my article entitled 'What Matters in Life: ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying' by Bronnie Ware, the number one regret is "I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." You don't need to conform to the expectations of your parents and of society.

Martin Luther King Jr. reminded us that "You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." Your healing really is up to you. Dr Jung wrote that “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” So, remember that, as Singer wrote in 'Living Untethered', which is in my 'Suggested Reading' list that "One of the most amazing things you will ever realise is that the moment in front of you is not bothering you. You are bothering yourself about the moment in front of you. It's not personal - you are making it personal.”

This is how you heal.

Namaste.

Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.

Olly

Dr Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD.

Fully qualified and certified transformative life coach

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Disclaimer: The information presented in this article explores the role of spirituality in mental well-being and recovery. It is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or psychiatric advice, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always seek the advice of your own qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your specific condition or any medical concerns. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read here. Integrating spiritual practices can be a valuable part of a holistic approach to mental health, but it should complement, not replace, care from medical and mental health professionals.