From Psychology to Spirituality: Transcending The Ego Mind’s Struggles
- olivierbranford
- Feb 27
- 14 min read
Updated: Mar 23
For my 400th article I wanted to write about psychology and spirituality: How do you transcend the ego mind’s struggles?
Spirituality and psychology are related, yet there are subtle differences that you can harness. The differences between psychology and spirituality are not a problem. Really they should be heralded and rejoiced.
Carl Jung, the father of analytical psychology, talked about the ego and the soul. Spirituality talks about the soul being witness consciousness: Sigmund Freud wasn’t taught this, so it doesn’t appear in mainstream psychology.
Like the spiritual Master Carl Jung, there are psychologists, such as Dr Steve Taylor, who wrote the brilliant book 'Extraordinary Awakenings: When Trauma Leads to Transformation', which is in 'Suggested Reading' list, who believe in the soul, and therefore they consider it during treatment.
There is no evidence in Sigmund Freud's writings that he took a step back and saw that the struggles were of the mind (he called it the ‘id’) and that consciousness is what is aware of them. Freud talked about the mind in terms of bodily experiences – pain, drives, wants, desires, etc.
When a light shines (consciousness) on an object, all it can see is the object and then it defines itself through the object. These objects can be the psyche, sense perceptions, past experiences, thoughts, and emotions.
How do you rationalise and harness psychology and spirituality, the ego, the mind, and the soul in order to handle and let go of your struggles? Let’s dive in…
From psychology to spirituality: Transcending the ego mind’s struggles
The seat of Self is when your consciousness is no longer distracted by your senses, thoughts, and emotions. This is the essence of the spiritual path. True meditation is when you don’t leave the seat of consciousness. One can use a focus of meditation. This is the place of the Nature of your BEing. This is the place of true liberation.
But instead you are consciousness being distracted by the objects of consciousness and sometimes defining and identifying yourself by those objects (the psyche, senses, thoughts and emotions). The objects that do this the most are the ones that feel good and the ones that feel bad. You then try to distract yourself from the negative distractions. This is what leads us to things such as unhealthy relationships and addiction. Not doing this is the spiritual path. Ego kills growth: Growth kills ego.
What creates the inner disturbance that causes us to struggle? At the root, lie psyche's need to have the polarities of desire (what we like) and fear (what we don't like). Inner freedom arises not from struggling with these forces or giving in to them, but by allowing their natural flow of coming and going to pass right through us.
The psyche is created by you resisting experiences. Everything you have ever resisted is still there inside you. Suffering is the distance between reality and what you want, or don’t want, to happen. So, suffering is proportional to your resistance to reality.
The moment in front of you is not bothering you. You are bothering yourself about the moment in front of you.
There is a voice inside your head. You know you have it. It talks to you incessantly, repetitively, and with often catastrophising thoughts. Catastrophising is part of the dis-ease. The dis-ease comes from trying to use your mind to control the Universe as you can’t handle reality.
You are not the ego. It is something that your mind talks to you about. So, it's not you. It is the body communicating to you. It relates to basic animal instincts including survival and primal fear. These base instincts express themselves through the mind.
Freud’s superego is the inner critic. This is the result of conditioning and programming of our mind as a result of our parents and society.
The mind is not the brain. The brain is the hardware (nerve cells) that connects the mind to the body. The true you is the consciousness that witnesses. Consciousness looks at mind. The mind receives messages from the physical plane. So, the mind is not physical. So, consciousness is the highest level. The mind is the next level down. And below that is the physical plane. Freud talked about the ego being the mechanism for balancing between the id (the mind) and the superego (inner critic).
Spirituality talks about the ego as the mind, the petrified 7-year old child that still lives on within you. The superego says “You”, whereas the ego mind says “I, me, and mine”. These are segments of mind, like a programme running in your computer (the brain). Witness consciousness (the soul) says that you are not your ego, who you truly are is the witness. The soul can see that the mind (the ego) is never ok. The mind makes up a you, which is not you! Psychologists call it the ‘self-concept’ – this is something you made up – it’s not reality, it’s just a concept that is pulled together from the negative, repetitive thoughts described above. Paramahansa Yogananda, the monk and yogi, said insightfully “The ego is the masquerading self”: The self with a small ‘s’, which wears a mask. This is what is presented to the world to defend the mental pattern that you made – if the outside world doesn’t match what it wants, you feel anger, pain and fear. If something does match the mental pattern, then it’s ‘love at first sight’ and you feel temporarily and conditionally happy. That’s why your relationships are so difficult. Why? Because what you call a relationship is a relationship with someone who agrees with you. If they stop agreeing with you all hell breaks loose. The relationship that you need to have a is one with your Self, the real you.
Psychology says that “Man is the sum of his learned experiences.” Your mind, your ego, your psyche, is the sum of your learned experiences. Your likes and dislikes came from what psychology calls your ‘formative years’. But the real you is the observer. The ego is stronger than the id and the superego. So, relationships are when you meet someone who also matches the sum of your learned experiences. So, there is no chance of a successful relationship with this paradigm as no-one else has had exactly the same experiences as you. This leads to compromise and transactional relationships. So, what is a relationship? “I am not my ego, but I watch one. How would you like to use this relationship to get rid of the ego?” That is an ideal relationship as then it is based on growth, where two hearts can touch each other not through masks. This is entirely possible. This is where spirituality becomes an advantage, and it avoids transactional relationships. The Higher Self, your soul, is the only place that unconditional love comes from. This is a beautiful place, where you are getting rid of your desires and wants and just BEing. Instead, we have ego relationships – which are destined for misery: It’s two people chasing what their ego says that it wants in order to be happy. The ego is never happy as the world is never the way it wants it to be and you can’t fight the Universe. Why would you want to be the sum of your learned experiences? That is a recipe for misery and dis-ease. So, Freud understood how the mind is programmed. But this explains why it’s not so nice to live in there. You collected the sum of your learned experiences, built an ego – a mask, and then became unhappy with the way that the world is as it doesn’t match your likes and dislikes. You don’t even know what you want. The mind is crazy, and it causes us to get upset. You have made your ego God. Therapy is ”Now that we have built a mind: Now that it’s a mess in there, how can you learn to cope that it’s not the way you want.” You made it Hell inside.
It's better to step back and watch the movie. The alternative to the mind is that it doesn’t have to be a mess in there. You can be sitting in the seat of Self, the witness and instead enjoy the beauty that is the nature of your BEing. It doesn’t make any difference what you have ever done. There is no use holding onto that. Forgive your Self. It can be Heaven inside. You are the consciousness that is watching all this. That is a spiritual state. To say “I am anxious” is not correct – you are watching anxiety. You step back into the seat of Self. Psychology straightens up the mind and the emotions so that they are tolerable. Spirituality is accessing the permanent state of unconditional ecstasy inside of you and it happens to be the real you: But instead, you are busy looking at the rubbish that you have accumulated. You are trying to rearrange the world so that the ego feels better. You get lost as the world coming in is not matching what you want. This is the cause of mental dis-ease and addiction. Depression is looking at a totally lacking energy psyche. You are not depressed; you are looking at a depressed psyche. The problem is that you don’t know how to get out: That is the spiritual journey. So, you have a few choices.
Firstly: Go out there and try to bend the Universe so that it matches your preferences, which is the sum of your learned experiences. This will not work. The Universe is the way it is. This is how everyone is living. No wonder we are all suffering. Psychology studies this: How to handle the fact that it’s not going to be the way you want.
Secondly, real spirituality is about the fact that you are not your mind: You are looking at those patterns. What is the nature of the consciousness that is watching the patterns of the mind? True spirituality is about Self-realisation. Who are you that is watching? You are a very great BEing. It’s beautiful in there. If you can let it go and not cling to what you stored in there, you will start to feel joy, and you will start to feel love. Ultimately it will fall off as you are no longer holding it.
If something is suppressed – you have suppressed it as you thought that you couldn’t handle it. You suppress things as you are lost in these patterns of mind. If you stop doing it and stop clinging (as the Buddhists say) to thoughts and emotions, that is spirituality. You get deep enough and wise enough to be centred in the seat of Self. Say to your Self “Events are going to happen in my life. Some of them will feel good and some of them will feel bad. Fine. I am not going to keep the events that bothered me. I can handle it. Why would I make a store-house in my mind of everything that ever bothered me? I am the only one in here. I have all the power I need to make it beautiful inside. This is my house. I am not distracted by this. So what?” This is the essence of true spiritual growth and the way to stop worrying. It’s not the event, it’s what you do with it. If you think you can’t handle it you push it away and suppress it. Then it keeps popping up like a ball held under water. You can stop trying to manipulate the world so that it doesn’t bother you – that messes up everything including work and relationships. You can stop reinforcing your inability to handle any situation. The option – is to learn to handle things inside of you: That’s spirituality. It is not trying to make things not happen.
The ego is like a spoilt brat – it wants things the way it wants them and it throws tantrums. Stop doing what it says. You have the right to get higher than that – that is the spiritual path. If things bother you just say to your Self “I can handle that.” Learn to let it go, stop deciding you don’t want it, and to handle things. Then it’s all fine. You don’t need to fight the Universe to feel peace, joy, and love. It’s your choice. You built the psyche. So, you can work with your Self to accept the way the world is. The end of suffering is to stop resisting the way the world is. Let all experiences come in, be ok with them, and handle reality – that’s spirituality. If you want to be happy, you have to change, not the world.
Meditation, mantra (“I can handle this”, offering it to God, and spiritual teachings can all help you to do this. Anything that you do that thins out the garbage that you stored inside will help you. You don’t need the superego. Keep letting go and relaxing. If you are trying to make the outside world the way that you want it, that is the cause of all conflict. Your true purpose is to serve with compassion. Everyone would be at peace. Relax and release. Stop devoting your Self to that ego maniac in there who wants everything the way they want it. That’s why your life is a mess.
Jesus said “You have to die to be reborn.” Meher Baba said “Man minus mind equals God”. That’s who is back there – a beautiful conscious BEing. This is the essence of spirituality. If you feel love it comes from inside of you. Love is the Nature of your BEing. Learn to let go of your stuff and that part of you that always wants to get what it wants: As you do you will feel more joy. Jesus said in John 10:30 "I and the Father are one." In John 14:12 Jesus said "I tell you the Truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father." This is the accessible state of all who commit to their spiritual path. We are all on a spiritual path: It's simply that most of us don't know it yet.
Spirituality involves recognising that we are the conscious awareness observing our thoughts, emotions, and experiences, not the experiences themselves. This awareness is part of an infinite, divine force that permeates all of creation. Self-realisation involves learning to let go of attachments to past experiences and the ego-driven need for control, which distorts our perception of who we truly are. Simply stop getting up and leaving the seat of your soul. Control is the opposite of Faith. By embracing and handling each moment as it unfolds, we reconnect with our true, infinite nature, enabling us to live joyfully and serve others selflessly.
Spiritual growth involves recognising and releasing the ego, which is a no more than a construct of accumulated experiences and unresolved emotions. True liberation comes from allowing life's events and emotions to flow through without resistance, enabling one to reconnect with pure, Universal consciousness. By shedding the ego, or transcending it and embracing this state, individuals can experience a profound sense of unity and peace.
The spiritual path is not about acquiring something new; it's about letting go of the barriers that prevent you from experiencing the greatness that has always been within you. When we let go, we cease to be an instrument of the personal self (the ego) and start being a liberated expression of the divine will. By learning to handle all of life's experiences without reactive resistance, we can maintain inner peace and return to the source of our BEing.
Acceptance and surrender are key spiritual principles that focus on embracing reality as it is and using it to let go of inner resistance and turmoil. Seen in this light, life’s challenges are not problems; they are opportunities for growth and spiritual evolution. For example, Karma is not a punishment; it’s a learning tool encouraging you to evolve consciously. By practising acceptance and surrender, individuals can achieve clarity and respond to situations thoughtfully, which fosters limitless spiritual growth.
If there is anything in your life that you are facing that you don't like or are afraid of, instead of hating it or being scared by it, love it, as it is the only thing standing between you and God. Love it to death!
You are a great BEing, full of love, light, peace, and joy. You can handle anything. Radiate a singing soul.
Spirituality and psychology are very close. But there are subtle differences that you can harness. You can learn to intend to release and relax. Life can be beautiful forever. Free your Self. The beauty inside you is gold.
Namaste.
Olly
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