Glossary

Updated: Mar 1

Here is my glossary of 50 transformative terms. When I started my transformative journey four years ago I had no idea what any of these terms really meant. Now they are my daily language. Here are the terms, along with my definitions, and links to my articles on these (simply click on the word being defined to access my articles), in order to save you time and to accelerate your transformation.

Attachment: Our drive to connect with a caring other, and to feel 'seen.' We may also have attachment to our thoughts (the false beliefs that we have in our head) and feelings.
Authenticity : Our ability to acknowledge our emotions and passions; to act in a way that is truly who we are, and which aligns to our sense of meaning and purpose. It means BEing true to your real Self (note the capitalisation of the 'S").
Awareness: This is the same as Self-awareness or presence. This is your perception of your present knowing. Awareness is when consciousness becomes aware of itself. So, whereas consciousness is two, awareness is one, when Self-consciousness merges with Universal consciousness (sometimes called 'Universal intelligence'): Subject and object merge into one. It is the merging of your Higher Self with your Truth. You merge with the landscape or clear sky. You are that presence. You can only BE it. You can’t know it with your mind. Presence can then use your mind and inspire your mind to expanded consciousness and becoming limitless. A lot to get your head (or awareness) round!
Balance: Keeping all the different elements of your life in proportion and harmony. It’s when you make sure that you focus enough attention on all the aspects of your life, not just one or two. It is represented by the 'Wheel of Life'.
Childhood trauma: The experience of an event by a fetus, neonate, or child that is emotionally painful or distressful, which results in lasting mental and physical effects (such as nervous dysregulation). It is what is experienced alone, in the absence of a compassionate witness.
Compassion: This is the same as love, or non-judgement, and means to 'suffer with.' There are five levels of compassion, with the highest being the 'compassion of possibility. See my article for an explanation of this.
Consciousness: Literally means 'a knowing of togetherness' or being awake. Consciousness is experiencing life in the first person. Our conscious experience of the world and the Self are forms of brain-based prediction - ‘controlled hallucinations’ that arise with, through, and because of our living bodies. But that leaves the deep knowing at the laboratory door that we are the observer of our minds. A science of consciousness is no less than account of who we are. Most of our thoughts and behaviours are asleep and unconscious, until we wake up and become Self-aware. The blue sky is the metaphor for Universal consciousness, which is your Truth, your beautiful vista, where your Higher Self walks the path of Truth, untainted by clouds. Consciousness, at its simplest, is awareness of internal and external existence: It is therefore two, whereas awareness is one. Consciousness has the figurative sense of "Knowing that one knows." Consciousness is infinite.
Denial: This could be the acronym 'Don't Even kNow I Am Lying'. It goes hand in hand with projection. Denial is the first symptom of addiction.
Ego: This has been variably defined: This is the same as the false self, or the fake self (note the small 's'). It is who we think we are, not who we truly are. In reality, the ego is our terrified 7-year-old self that never grew up, who is trying to control our adult lives, but doesn't want to. Hence the fear, as it can't. The ego is the domain of psychology: Of our psyche - it's our habitual fearful thinking.
Emotional sobriety: This is when what you believe about your Self matches the facts about you and you feel good about your Self (you have Self-worth and Self-love). When you are emotionally sober, the input of others does not determine what you think about your Self. When you are emotionally sober, you are not dependent on people, places, events, or things for your joy and peace: You think and believe "I don't depend on others to tell me how to feel about me". You are able to serve the present moment in front of you. Each person is like an actor who wants to change the whole show: You don't and you can't: It’s because our basic beliefs are false. It’s based on our most basic fear that we will be abandoned, which we won't be. You are worthy, you are loved, and you won't be abandoned. All is well. There are many solutions to this and I will write an article about it soon.
Emotions: Emotions are feelings: They are part of you. Emotions are a tool kit to guide you and to aid your transformati on. There is information in emotions. Think with your heart. You must feel emotions and then let them go, not resist them. Emotions come largely from our thoughts about the world. Our natural state is well-being. E motions lead you to Self-awareness and Self-realisation.
Enlightenment: This is a state of awakened expanded consciousness, of permanent bliss, similar to the feeling of seeing a magnificent sunset setting over the sea; when you dive deeply into meditative presence, or feel unconditional love.
External validation: This is a coping mechanism for unbearable emotional pain, reflecting the lovelessness of our dysfunctional world. External validation addiction comes from our deepest human needs and fears: Of being unloveable, unloved, unworthy, that we will be abandoned and that therefore that we will die. External validation addiction is a survival response. It;'s when you seek solace and numbing in people, accolades, and awards. Misplaced attachment to what cannot satiate the soul is not an error exclusive to addicts, but the common condition of mankind. It's the ego run riot.
Faith: Faith consists in believing what reason cannot. Faith is a state of openness or trust. To trust in the force that moves the Universe is Faith. Faith isn't blind; it's visionary. Faith is believing that the Universe knows what it's doing. Faith is the psychological awareness of an unfolding force for good, constantly at work in all dimensions. Faith is the highest passion in a human being. Faith is the way out of the insanity that we all suffer from, yet don’t know that we do, as a result of living in what feels like such a dysfunctional, Dystopian world full of fear, hatred and conflict, where we can't see the way out. Faith has nothing to do with religion. Faith is stillness; a loving source; a light in the darkness; a sower of dreams that never fail to come true.
False self: See ego.
Fear: This is 'False Evidence Appearing Real.' Fear is a feeling that comes from our egocentric attempts to control the outside world, but we know deep down that we can’t. So, fear is simply the language of the ego.
Forgiveness: Forgiveness is the intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger: Forgiveness transmutes fear, anger, and resentment to love. Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different: It's accepting the past for what it was, and using the present moment and this time to help yourself move forward. Forgiveness is the only path that leads us out of our pain. We heal when we decide to forgive. Forgiveness is your way out of the self-imposed prison of your mind.
Heaven: 'Heaven' is our experience of life when we make the decision to come from a place of love, where all our choices are made from love, when we are love.
Hell: Fear in your mind produces fear in your life. This is the meaning of 'Hell'.
Hero’s Journey: This is the transformative journey described by Joseph Campbell: Used in all books and films, it is a metaphor for the inward journey that we all must take.
Higher Power: This is the real you, your true Self, your soul. It is the divine part of you: Your adult assertive Self that is one with the Universe.
Higher Self: See Higher Power.
Inner child: This is the part of you that is wounded and neglected, often unconscious and concealed in adulthood, but may be paradoxically and reluctantly running the 'show' as your frightened ego, that is your essence, that carries unresolved emotions, and is responsible for playfulness, innocence, spontaneity, energy, and creativity, that is usually accompanied by anger, hurt, and fear attributable to traumatic (an absence of unconditionally loving) childhood experiences. The inner child just wants to play, to stop having to take on adult roles, and to be loved and integrated by you into your whole, authentic Self.
Inner critic: The inner critic is a critical inner voice, which is a concept used in psychology and psychotherapy to refer to a sub-personality that judges and demeans you: Usually an internalised version of your critical parent, producing feelings of shame, self-doubt, and low self-esteem. This may be debilitating.
Integrity: This is the state of being whole and undivided in terms of your psyche. This demands considerable depth of Self-awareness and an uncompromising willingness to be authentic. It means to be 'real, integrating your inner child, Higher Power, and shadow as one.
Joy: This is the permanent and unconditional emotion that comes from within you that is imperturbable by anything or anyone outside of you, and relates to true, deep presence. Joy is something much grander than happiness, which is temporary, elusive, and dependent on that which is outside of you.
Letting go: This is the same as 'surrender' - which means surrendering judgement and control, allowing the Universe to take over.
Non-attachment : Releasing thoughts and emotions that create suffering.
Non-judgement There is nothing either good or bad about any person, place, event, or thing, but erroneous thinking makes it so.
Non-resistance: Is acceptance of what is the 'isness' of the present moment.
Peace: Is the blissful serenity that emanates from deep presence. It is a core value that is an essential element of awareness.
Personal Power: This occurs when ego is seen for what it is, left behind, and your Higher Self is embraced as who you truly are, marking the end of striving. Real Personal Power is transformative and changes the way you live and lead in all aspects of your life. Real Personal Power comes from within and emanates from the source much greater than your ego, as a result of reflection, purpose and wisdom.
Presence: Presence is a 'pre-sent' moment that has been sent to you from above. Presence is the same as awareness. It's the key that unlocks every door to awakening, it's all we truly have, and yet it's enough in order to connect with your deeper Self. It is the gap, the space between your thoughts, is where you find deep serenity, stillness, and intuitive intelligence, devoid of fear and limiting assumptions: It is the space of all possibility.
Projection: This is a psychological defence mechanism whereby everything that is unconscious in ourselves that we don't like we attribute as characteristics of our neighbour, and we treat him unjustly and accordingly, rather than facing our own 'defects.'
Recovery: This means to recover your true Self - to become whole, authentic, and integrated.
Real Self: See Higher Power.
Religion: This is institutionalised, edited, man-made dogma.
Resurrection: The ego leads to an inevitable metaphorical 'crucifixion.' When you step into your Higher Power, you will experience a resurrection, like a Phoenix rises from the ashes.
Self-actualisation: Is the process of integrating one’s total personality (inner child, H igher Self, and shadow.
Self-love: This is unconditional Self-regard and Self-acceptance, with a desire to create the experience of joy within you.
Self-realisation: This is the fulfilment of your potential. This is your primary purpose. This is the whole purpose of your life. Self-realisation is a term used in Western psychology (psychoanalysis and humanistic psychology), philosophy, in spirituality, in Eastern wisdom, and in Transformative Life Coaching (TLC), which is a seamless blend of all these disciplines. Self-realisation is the knowledge and embodiment of your Higher Power, beyond the ego. Self-realisation is much more all-encompassing than self-actualisation and refers to realisation of Self with an uppercase 'S'. So, here we are talking full-on liberation (Enlightenment, awakening, and freedom).
Service: This is the 100% selfless non-self serving act of giving unconditional love and the compassion of possibility to others to meet their needs, and not expecting anything in return.
Shadow: The shadow is the sum of the parts of you that you suppressed, ridiculed, shunned, denied, shamed, and rejected, due to our dysfunctional world, resulting in you projecting those parts onto others. The shadow is the sum of the traits that were met with punishment by society, family, or peers.
Shame: The deepest of the negative emotions; a 'soul eating' emotion, that is the birthplace of fear and pain, leading to depression and anxiety, that drives us subconsciously to seek external validation to make up for our perception of our selves being flawed, broken, and defective as human beings, as we will do anything to avoid that feeling. Shame is an epidemic in our culture. Shame is anger turned inwards, and it corrodes the very part of us that believes that we are capable of change. It forces feelings underground.
Spirituality: Means waking up. This is recognising and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. It means looking inside. It is nothing to do with institutionalised religion.
Surrender: Surrendering judgement and control, allowing the Universe to take over.
Transformation: This is the deepest level of inner change, giving you total clarity on how the world works, the Universal nature of the human experience, and is the highest level of coaching, allowing you to become your own coach.
Truth: Truth is a feeling that can't be expressed in words. Your only real problem is that you have forgotten who you truly are. It's as simple as that. All Truth is accessed by remembering who you are. Truth is Universal.
Unconditional love: This is also called 'real love.' It is when one cares only for the happiness of another, and that is unconditional - it does not require anything in return. So there is something real and unconditional about love. When we feel real love we don't need anything else: When we don't feel real love nothing else is enough.
Wisdom: Wisdom is the divine intuition that your soul receives when you are fully present and in a meditative state. This consists of intuition and insights (which are seen by looking within with expanded consciousness - literally in-sights). So the wise choice in any situation is to ask your Self "What would love/my Higher Self/God do?" Wisdom is the intuition that you receive when you commune with the Universal Intelligence.

Here is a little gift of the Bhagavad Gita (the ancient Hindu text that speaks timeless wisdom) in 90 seconds:

The Bhagavad Gita

My gift is to be your guide. Let me know if you would like to continue this conversation...

Email me: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk

“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford

My coaching themes and services: Transformative Life Coaching, Transformational Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Recovery Coaching, Trauma Informed Coaching, Work Addiction Coaching, Workaholism Coaching, Addiction Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching.

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