There are Three Transformational Models That You Need to Know About If You would Like to Have True Success: Real Power (Stages of Personal Power); The Hero's Journey and Waking Up To Your True Purpose.
In this article we take a dive into what it means to have Real Personal Power. The second model, which has many parallels, is the 'Hero's Journey', which I have already described in great detail in the following article: Click on the following link to read my article:
I have described the third model, 'Waking Up to Your True Purpose', in the following article:
Real Power: What is Your Personal Power?
Last week I had a very enlightening conversation with a long-time friend of mine who is a successful corporate lawyer. He told me over dinner repeatedly how successful he was and that the way that he succeeded was that when colleagues disagreed with him he shouted at them until they agreed with him. He seemed very satisfied with this declaration. I suspect that his self-confidence was buoyed by the half bottle of red wine that he had consumed. What did his approach scream to me?: That he was stuck firmly in his ego. What is ego? It's your terrified 7-year old self that is trying to run your life. How does that go? It never ends well. Why act so big, you are not so small? Let me explain...
Is your 7-year old self running your life?
Janet Hagberg wrote the brilliant book Real Power: Stages of Personal Power in Organisations.
You see, my friend thinks that he is at the top of his game. But he is stuck firmly in Stage 3 Personal Power (see below). His ego is actually preventing him from seeing that there are three more Stages to go until he reaches the top (Stage Six). He is paralysed by fear and doesn't know it, and he believes that 'Power by Achievement' (Stage Three) is the pinnacle of power: Which is why he can't see that he only half way there. It's ok, it's not a judgement, it's merely an observation. We get in our own way. By playing 'King Baby' we can't even see that we are far from the self, purpose and wisdom required to become the leader reflected by Yoda or Steve Jobs who are at Stage Six. At best, most of us are glued to believing that at Stage Three (Power by Achievement) aka ego, that we are at the top of our game. What keeps us there? Fear. His brother is an addict. They had very similar childhood traumas. One brother became addicted to substances, and the other to success and external validation. They are not so dissimilar. The problem with addiction to external validation is that it comes from a place of lack, not abundance: It limits us: And our lives reflect that. I know, I was that person too. I hear you.
Marianne Williamson wrote "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Real Power is the kind of power you obtain after you come to the end of your own striving. Real power is transformative and changes the way you live and lead. Real power comes from within and emanates from a source greater than our own ego.
These three models process-oriented not prescriptive models, meaning that they describe the stages of change rather than instruct how to make the change. How to make the change is best described in my article on Transformative Life Coaching.
Janet Hagberg, after years of study, wrote her seminal book Real Power: Stages of Personal Power in Organizations to inspire all those who wish to change into higher levels of personal power. The first step is to actually realise that we are powerless and limited by our own ego. We need to awaken. As Anais Nin wrote "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Life is a process of becoming." You have to want to change: No-one can oblige you.
Hagberg's book is more than just about personal power in organisations, it's about personal power in all of your life, and its lessons apply equally to all of us.
In his brilliant book 'A Shift in Being' Leon Vanderpol defines Personal Power as relating "To that from which you draw your sense of self". By this he means your sense of who you are, your worth, purpose and power in this world. You are a Stage Six being, who's limiting beliefs (fears) keep you at Stage Three or below. Don't worry, everyone does this. But you don't have to, if you are ready to do the inner work.
Janet Hagberg Real Power: Stages of Personal Power in Organisations
The first three stages reflect an external or outward source of power (drawing our sense of self and personal power primarily from that which is external to us). It's hardly surprising as our parents and society condition us to feel inadequate and unworthy. Marketing and social media companies enslave you to needing something external to you to prove your worthiness. The latter three stages involve a deep realisation of this and they are internally oriented (drawing our sense of self and power from that which is internal to us.)
Hagberg states that we can be in different stages of power in different areas of our lives, but that each of us has a 'home' stage that represents us more truly than others. She also states that "The development of one's ego are central tasks inherent within this model." Some people get stuck (especially commonly in Stage Three like my friend) and don't want to move, as their ego thinks that they are Superman.
Stage One: Powerlessness
At this stage people do not believe they possess much, if any personal power. And they are right. It is characterised by low self-esteem, feelings of helplessness and dependency and victimhood. You may well know people like this and you will have undoubtedly experienced times in your life when you felt powerless. In this Stage people retreat into blame, critical judgement, projection, complaint, denial, lies, and resort to devious manipulation including people pretending not to be what they would they would rather not be seen as or pretending to be what they would rather be but are not (they create a false identity) as they are consumed with shame about who they are and they to try to get what they want externally, a person, thing or outcome, by whatever means as they know deeply that they can't have it and internally they feel out of control, and they are totally out of control. Run a mile from these people: They are toxic. This is the prevalent Stage in false press stories, interpersonal conflicts and futile legal battles: Tragically, the bread and butter of 'modern' life in our dysfunctional society. These manipulations make them feel justified in attacks but they are based on fantasies to be other than what they are. For example, according to Psychology Today, internet 'Trolls' are Psychopathic, Sadistic, Machiavellian Narcissists with an inferiority complex. I am sure that you know people like this. They hide under the guise of vulnerability, and live under the bridge of Truth. They lie, exaggerate and deflect from their own inadequacies, offend deliberately to get a response as without this no-one pays attention to them in the real world. You know who they are. They have no personal power in reality, which makes them resort to the internet to try to manifest some kind of fake glee (and everything about them is fake) in an attempt to 'gain power' by attempting to 'destroy' others in an imaginary world. The internet is their playground. Trying to 'break' things is their only joy as they try to distract from their own perceived brokenness. For they are frightened children. But everyone can see them for what they are, however hard they pretend to be who they are not. Movement into the next stage, which hopefully happens for their own sake, happens when they develop the very beginnings of self-esteem and self-respect, which means that they realise that they have much internal work to do to start to have any sense of self-worth. They are their own worst enemy. The people in this stage are totally asleep and feel righteous and justified in their rage. Sadly, very few have any kind of insight at all. The tabloid press revel in these stories as the actual Truth would put themselves out of business and they would have nothing to write about other than how much they contribute to the collective poison themselves: The 'journalists' that write about these stories have much to hide, including the Truth about themselves and their family members. I know this to be true. My compassion has led to my silence so far about these people in my own life but even compassion is not without limit when Trolls, tabloid journalists and their editors persist in their delusion. They will knock on your door, as sadly pathetic figures seeking crumbs of gossip from your children and family, and they are truly the tragic ghosts who live in secrecy and darkness.
Stage Two: Power by Association
At this stage people begin to realise that they are not powerless victims in life. By taking personal responsibility for their attitudes, choices and actions, and developing a willingness to learn about themselves and the way that the real world actually works, they begin to 'learn the ropes.' As Janet Hagberg observed "People at Stage Two usually want to be like someone else. They frequently have a role model or at least identify themselves with more powerful people." They join teams, gangs, and cliques to attempt to gain personal power by association with them, hoping that some of their power will rub off on them. Sadly, they usually choose people who are often very limited in their power due to their own fearful ego.
Stage Three: Power by Achievement
In this stage power is experienced through connection with what people have accomplished in life, often resting on their laurels. They strive to attain wealth, influence, a nice new car or clothes and they think that when they attain them that they have 'made it'. They believe that they are finally 'somebody' and that people will finally see their worth. Ambition and competition thrive here. These small-minded people are everywhere. They work hard at this stage to gain what they desire, believing that achievements lead to validation - the more that they think that they achieve, the more the world recognises and rewards their 'worth.' Sadly a Porsche does not give you any intrinsic worth. Any time that you are drawn into a sense of self-identity and worth through an external thing that you have attained or created you are operating in Stage Three. This stage is the bastion of the ego: the little boy or little girl that runs your life out of fear. Here the ego struts its stuff, trying to show the world that it is worthy, admired, and loved. The great challenge os Stage 3 is thast the vast majority of humanity has been socialised to this Stage: From a young age we are taught the value of material possessions and wealth. Our intrinsic worth and sense of self naturally becomes a reflection of our achievements. Yet without them we are nothing. Yet people get stuck at this Stage, continually striving to attain more and more, life is reduced to an endless climb for status, because they are completely oblivious of the power potentials that lie beyond Stage 3. As Hagberg points out, people at this Stage get stuck because they don't know that they are stuck - they believe that they have already made it, when in truth they haven't.
The Crisis of Integrity
Then one day something happens, something shifts within, that marks the movement into Stage Four: From externally-oriented (fake power) to internally-oriented sources of personal power: Real power. This event is usually a traumatic event that prompts the person to ask the question "Is what I have been taught to believe about life really true?" Then confusion sets in, the void. The inner earthquake has begun and something deep within is stirring. Some people have a crisis of integrity at this stage so they only dabble in Stage Four and do not commit to the promises that it holds. They might read a self-help book or two, explore spirituality a little or think about their life purpose, attend some personal growth workshops, consider changing their career to match their purpose. But then they fail to progress into Stage Four and remain stuck in the fear of the frightened ego, realising the magnitude of the journey and the commitment to change that it would entail. Few people are truly brave enough to wake up. For those that are brave enough, fear is felt as courage coming home.
Stage Four: Power by Reflection
This is a Stage of intense introspection and transformation. Here people start to ask the really big questions of life, for which there are no easy answers, like "Who am I?", "What do I really value?", and "What is my life purpose?" These questions forge the path of internal reflection, where we are compelled to know who we are not, who we are, and our purpose in the world. This journey requires us to face our darkest shadows and our brightest light, and transform the very nature of our small minded ego-based concept.
The reflective nature of this Stage means that people will have unresolved dilemmas that create a sense of unbalance, uncertainty and concern, particularly because the norms by which they have so long lived their lives are coming into question. This includes their beliefs and self-concept. As they move into the mysterious Stage Four they will be thinking "What will people think of me? Will I be safe?" They are losing the mask that Stage Three people wear for the world.
Some people fear the unknown and so they cannot commit to Stage Four. To live fully in Stage Four Hagberg describes "The Wall" that must be moved through: This is s place of transformation where the ego is transcended. This is s journey down the road less travelled and is not for the faint hearted. It takes great fortitude and perseverance. It is the hardest thing that you will ever do. Trust me, I know. Along the way you will experience a crisis of self-identity, face your darkest shadows and fears, move into a higher state of consciousness, moving beyond over-intellectualisation into pure intuition and face all your and feelings, learn to let go of control, and remember who you truly are without the mask. For this you will need a guide who has taken this journey into the Self. When the student is ready the teacher appears. That certainly happened for me. Stage Four is a Stage of true transformation. This involves the self-concept undergoing a radical transformation from one that is ego-based to one that is soul-based (your true Self).
Despite the unsettling nature of the Stage, being self-reflective and willing to explore deep within means that you keep moving towards greater personal power and influence. You start to develop wisdom, which can't be learned from books, as a result of your ability to reflect on your Self honestly, and integrity (which is absent in the earlier Stages) as you explore what it means to explore what it means to live in alignment with your higher ideals, values and Truth. Less and less will you define your sense of Self and Self-worth from validation from others, achievements, possessions, accolades or approval. You will increasingly draw upon your sense of Self from the very nature of your BEing, understanding who you truly are and your purpose in this world. Your inner and outer purpose become increasingly aligned.
Stage Five: Power by Purpose
This Stage is resplendent. Hagberg describes it "Stage Fives are different internally and externally. The guide for behaviour in Fives is an inner intuitive voice. They are more congruent because they no longer have to live two separate lives as Stage Fours do. Fives have a purpose in life that extends beyond themselves. They know what their life's calling is, where their deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. And they are able to wed this to their lifestyle and their work. But they receive their calling from their Higher Power, the Holy. It is not the same as life goals. You can set life goals at any stage but at Stage Five you live out what you are called to do or to be more fully."
People at this Stage possess inner vision, and are driven by clarity and confidence in their life purpose, because their sense of Self and personal power comes from deep within. They are humble yet courageous: As Mahatma Gandhi said "I must reduce myself to zero." Their ultimate purpose is always to serve and empower others, by drawing from an infitie well within, they give power away freely and unselfishly. They are serene, authentic, real and have a deep unshakeable joy. They are not confined by doctrines of fear-based religions into a personal intimate expression of spirituality. They exude compassion, unconditional love, kindness, forgiveness, and acceptance. They are creative, passionate people who are eager to participate in the transformation of individuals and organisations.
Stage Six: Power by Wisdom
Once the paradox is understood that in Hagberg's words "The individual no longer matters in the larger scheme of things and yet the individual is all that matters", movement into Stage 6 is possible. These people have unshakeable strength and total serenity. They are pure light. They feel a deep connection to the Universe. There is a transcendental quality to their BEing. They are like Yoda in Star Wars with parallels to Buddhism and Stoic philosophy. They wield ultimate personal power. They are the 'enlightened ones'.They exemplify an evolved state of mind and have the wisdom to match. From this state of BEing they serve, quietly and humbly, in organisations, to elevate the consciousness and awareness of all. They live out a higher purpose in service of others. Simply being in their presence can be a healing, inspiring, and serene experience. Sixes are endlessly imaginative, curious and active. They exhibit a refreshing openness to learn from all those around them and they can give you insight into pure Truth. Stage Six living is an inspiration worthy of all of us. Jesus said of his miracles "Why are you so amazed? These things and more shall you also do." Jesus was a man who lived at Stage Six. We all have his potential. We all have the ability to reach his state of being. It's actually our loud brash ego that tells us that we can't do these things: Maybe it's time for us to listen to the still quiet voice within instead and choose to BE. It is the purpose of your life.
Wisdom of Yoda: Buddhism and Stoic Philosophy
Transformative Life Coaching (TLC)
Click here for my guide to TLC:
Remember that no-one can take your higher power from you unless you let them.
Bibliography
Sending you love, light, and blessings.
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Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching. I am here to serve you.
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Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.