True success in life is all about possibility. What is possible for you? What has been getting in the way of getting what you want? Are your fears and doubts holding you back? Do you have clarity on the negativity that surrounds and engulfs you? Peace and freedom come when you deeply realise that your life is your own.
The key to success is to take action and let go of the outcome.
Max Lerner wrote "I am neither an optimist nor pessimist, but a possibilist." Just focus on the possibilities: The limitations will take care of themselves. You don't have to 'push' your Self past your limits if you have none. If you focus on the possibilities you will transcend your limitations: You will not need to 'overcome them.'
Emily Dickinson wrote "I dwell in possibility." Do you? If you go beyond the clouds, you will get endless sunshine every day, alternating nightly with a sky full of an infinite numbers of stars, awe, and wonder.
Opening your mind to the limitless Universe will open the floodgates of miracles having your name written on them. As Jerry Falwell wrote “Whenever God has a great task, God raises up a man or woman of equal greatness for that task.” You are that person. You just don't realise it yet as you are asleep.
God is simply short for the nameless feeling, the limitless Universe, which can't be put into words. Joseph Campbell said "God is a metaphor for that which transcends all levels of intellectual thought. It's as simple as that."
There is an aphorism that states as an equation:
'Man minus mind = God.'
Invisible is not the same as imaginary. Faith is visionary. We are a dysfunctional, mentally ill, Dystopian society of the blind that lead the blind. We are all so confused about what true success really means. Success in life means to awaken: That is your primary purpose; and everything else flows from there.
Awakening is consciousness. It means waking up from the dream, or rather nightmare, of form. Your goals are limited because you are trying the change the people, events and things around you, which are made of form, as a survival need.
When you awaken, this frees your life from all of your perceived 'problems', and fills it instead with love, joy, gratitude, belief, an attitude of growth and learning, wisdom, and peace. Your past is your best asset, but you must let it go and keep only the lessons that it has brought you. This is your wisdom.
Let go of negativity: It will only hold you back. Your journey is who you are. Your transformation is your value. Who you truly are is your value. That is the place from which you will change the world. Through this expansion or shift in your consciousness. Let me explain how...
Possibility makes the impossible possible: Ilyas Kassam wrote "If Nature has taught us anything it is that the impossible is probable"
As Jordan Belfort said in 'The Wolf of Wall Street' "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullsh*t story you keep telling your Self as to why you can't achieve it."
Possibility
What is your highest possibility? What does success look like to you? You are not sure yet? Let me guide you to finding out...
You may stay blind to your fears and limitations or open your eyes to the inexhaustible power and infinite possibilities already inside you. Henry Ford rightly said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't: You're right.” As you know, he was the man that brought us cars. He continued “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said 'faster horses.'”
Abraham Lincoln wrote "If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I would spend the frst five hours sharpening the axe."Likewise, if you spend time working on your Self, then everything will then fall into place very quickly.
Emmet Fox, the spiritual leader and author of the book 'The Sermon on the Mount' wrote “A small spark can start a great fire.” You are that spark: You are that fire. But how do you do this? He continued “Your Heart's Desire is the Voice of God, and that Voice must be obeyed sooner or later.” Fox stated that we achieve our heart's desire through 'challenges':“Suppose your whole world seems to rock on its foundations. Hold on steadily, let it rock, and when the rocking is over, the picture will have reassembled itself into something much nearer to your heart's desire.” Fox added that “You are always in your right place at the (present) moment. If you don’t like it, change it scientifically by rising in consciousness. This will be permanent.”
Albert Einstein, one of the greatest minds of the modern era, wrote that “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” The first is how we live when we perceive the world through the lens of fear (the ego), and the second is when we perceive the world from a place of love (the higher Self or soul).
Neville Goddard said “Man's chief delusion is his conviction that there are causes other than his own state of consciousness.” So, if your consciousness is a 6 out of 10 then you are limited to creating 6 out of 10 outcomes. But if you expanded your consciousness through infinite possibility then you will create from that place. That is true Mastery. This is how you achieve infinite personal power. You simply go higher and higher. William Blake, the poet and artist, wrote "What is now proved, was once only imagined.
Emily Dickinson wrote the poem 'I Dwell in Possibility":
"I dwell in Possibility –
A fairer House than Prose –
More numerous of Windows –
Superior – for Doors –
Of Chambers as the Cedars –
Impregnable of eye –
And for an everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky –
Of Visitors – the fairest –
For Occupation – This –
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise..."
How do you gather heaven, paradise, and the Universe in your hands? That is the possibility of success...
The author of 'Alice in Wonderland', a sublime allegory for personal transformation, Lewis Caroll wrote "Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast... It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then." Morpheus (who serves as the Cheshire Cat) says to the hero Neo (who serves as Alice) in the iconic film 'The Matrix', which is full of references to philosophy, spirituality, and the literature, in reference to Alice in Wonderland "You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." Both Neo and Alice are insatiably curious, preferring a better world where there are no rules, where they are free, and where anything is possible. Both Neo and Alice come to reject the fantasy world, favouring reality, though through different means and thoughts. Both narratives also follows the stages of the Hero's Journey, described by Joseph Campbell. The first reference to Alice in Wonderland from 'The Matrix' comes from Trinity telling Neo to “Follow the white rabbit”, to begin his transformative journey of self-discovery. Are you ready for yours?
The blue and red pills in 'The Matrix' reference the drink and food Alice consumes in Wonderland, changing her size from small (ego) to large (higher Self) to small again. She is instructed to choose between two sides of the Caterpillar’s mushroom, which will make her either smaller or larger. In the case of 'The Matrix', the choice of pill refer to the same two options of either being asleep (ego, or blue pill) or of waking up (higher Self, or red pill). Cypher expresses his regret to Neo, preferring to have taken the blue pill and remain asleep. That is what most of us do; believing that oblivion is preferable to the initial pain of awakening. It comes from a place of self-hatred and fear, and from experiencing all the rewards of Self-realisation and Self-actualisation if we trust the process. This references how Alice regrets going down the rabbit hole, wishing to return to the comforts of her home. Cypher wants to return to the fantasy of 'The Matrix', rather than stay in the misery of reality. Emotional pain is part of the journey, and without facing it, and realising that its part of being truly alive, there is no awakening. Alice was a child of Victorian England, bound to expectations and adult making decisions for her. Neo is trapped in a simulated reality, living a dull life he does not feel comfortable in. Though the context is different, by committing to the path, the greatest journey of your life, both find freedom, peace, wisdom, Truth and joy.
In 'The Matrix', The Oracle is influenced by the Caterpillar, being a wise, resourceful, if cryptic character. She serves as a guide to Neo, though tells him that he must make his own choices, just as we will do in our coaching sessions. In a lot of contemporary adaptations of Alice, the Caterpillar is depicted as an oracular figure. Both characters undergo a transformation; the Caterpillar becomes a butterfly (a classic metaphor for metamorphosis and transformation), whilst the Oracle has to change her physical appearance in 'The Matrix Revolutions'. When a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, the former has to literally dissolve to reveal the beautiful butterfly, with brightly mosaically coloured wings.
Dale Carnegie, who wrote the classic transformative book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People, wrote "We all have possibilities we don't know about. We can do things we don't even dream we can do." Thomas Edison, who invented the light bulb, amongst many other things that revolutionalised the industrialised world, said that "If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."
Please could you read the following sentence out loud to your Self:
“I am not my thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, and experiences. I am not the content of my life. I AM Life. I am the space in which all things happen. I am consciousness. I am the Now. I AM.”
How does it make you feel? Pretty amazing? Pretty crazy? In either case do read on, and it will all become clear.
The Universe, not the sky, is the limit, and the Universe is infinite. You are the Universe and the Universe is in you. The Greek philosopher and polymath Aristotle said that "A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility." The brilliant philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote "A thought, even a possibility, can shatter and transform us." It may well be that you need to shatter before your pieces can come back together again in the way that you were made to be. As Rumi wrote "The wound is the place where the Light enters you."
The equation for what you may achieve, if you so desire, is very simple:
What you are capable of = Infinite possibility - Your perceived limitations
Your perceived limitations all come from your 'monkey mind,' the ego: Which is the terrified 7-year old you that the world never allowed to grow up. Infinite possibility is the miracle that happens when you only entertain thoughts from the voice of your highest Self.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote "I love those who yearn for the impossible." And we are legion; we just don't all take the journey that we were born for, and therefore don't wake up to who we are.
Charles Kettering wrote about the family that invented flight for human beings "The Wright brothers flew right through the smoke screen of impossibility." They simply believed in the possibility that they could create a machine that could fly: If Nature could do it, then so could they. And so they did.
George Bernard Shaw wrote "The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act (from our higher Self) and not react (our ego)." But we all react from our ego, immediately. We need to lean back and respond through action. When things seem very chaotic try and step back, meditate, and observe what is really going on rather than throwing yourself head first into every situation. Follow your intuition during meditation: It will always come, usually as a feeling, words or a sign. It's one of the most powerful things to experience and something which entirely guides me in the way I conduct myself on a daily basis.
St. Francis of Assisi, one of the most venerated figures in history, also wrote about possibility "Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
Possibility is the home of creativity and the imagination, which are how we take action that gives us wisdom about who we are. For me that is writing and coaching. Albert Einstein wrote that "Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand."
Eleanor Roosevelt, the 'First Lady of the World' wrote "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Why? The genius artist Pablo Picasso wrote "I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it." Why wait? Mark Twain, the writer and entrepreneur, wrote "Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today."
Arthur C. Clarke, the writer and 'futurist', wrote "The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible." He continued:
1. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
3. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
The difference between magic and miracles are that the latter are, like Einstein said, what we expect, and the former are what we hope for. What we now think of as being established science all began as miracles, by fearless people, like Einstein, who believed in miraculous possibility.
You are a limitless being who is only held back by your fears. In other words only your limiting beliefs hold you back. If you could drop these then what would remain, according to our equation above, is the you that you have only so far dreamed of: This is the space of possibility. Once you become fearless, you transcend your fears, then you and your life becomes limitless. You live from your soul.
'Fear' and 'Faith' are both are states of mind. Fear creates the darkest moments in our finest hour, while Faith brings the finest moments in our darkest hour.
As humans our deepest fears (by that I mean the fears beneath every one of your fears) are all the same:
That we are not worthy
That we will fail
That we are not loveable
That we are not loved
That we will be abandoned
That we will die
These seem to form a logical sequence. We were not born with these fears. Our parents, guardians, and society conditioned them into us. Why? Because they were unconscious. They had the same fears conditioned into them. But you are reading this as the highest version of you is still inside you, like it is in everyone. You just need to be reminded, in order to wake up.
Our ultimate fear though, is not that we will die, but that we are afraid to truly live. Why? Because our ego lies to us. Our ego is who we think we are. It tells us that if we wake up we will die: We live (or rather sleep) in a real life Matrix. The ego lies because waking up, becoming conscious, dissolves it. The closer you get to waking up, the more the ego screams that you will die. Eckhart Tolle, the philosopher and foremost worldwide spiritual teacher, wrote “Let the end of the world be inside you, then you don't need to fear the end of the world out there... The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist... Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to “Die before you die"... You are not separate from the whole. You are one with the sun, the earth, the air. You don’t have a life. You are life. Nothing that is of real value can be lost, only the false dissolves.” The false self is the ego: Awareness dissolves it like a caterpillar, which dies, and quite literally dissolves, to reveal the butterfly that is the true you.
You are limitless because you are the Universe. The question is will you realise this in this life? It really is your choice. As Tolle wrote “As you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life. It means fear is no longer a dominant factor in what you do and no longer prevents you from taking action to initiate change.”
The vast majority of people never realise that what they were always seeking was inside them all along, or they realise it on their death bed, and by then it’s a little late to wake up to a life of personal power, peace, love, and joy. As Steve Jobs said just before dying “At this moment, lying on the bed, sick and remembering all my life, I realise that all my recognition and wealth that I have is meaningless in the face of imminent death. You can hire someone to drive a car for you, make money for you - but you can not rent someone to carry the disease for you. One can find material things, but there is one thing that can not be found when it is lost - life. Your true inner happiness (joy) does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you’re flying first class, or economy class - if the plane crashes, you crash with it." His very final words were "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.”
As Colette, the actress and journalist, wrote "What a wonderful life I've had. I only wish I'd realised it sooner."
Limitations may be transcended: Your higher Self can handle anything, without fear
As Dan Millman, the Olympian, author, and coach, wrote "Tell me what God feels like: I am starting to forget."
Eckhart Tolle wrote that “Emotion arises at the place where mind and body meet. It is the body’s reaction to your mind — or you might say, a reflection of your mind in the body.” If you have fearful thoughts you take your self to hell: If you have loving thoughts you take your Self to heaven.
George Addair famously said “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” I would take it one step further, that your fear has actually prevented you from even imagining the possibility of your dreams of awakening. George Bernard Shaw wrote "Some people see things as they are and say 'Why?' I dream of things that never were and say 'Why not?'"
Herein lies the paradox: Who would you have to be to be able to imagine what your wildest dreams could entail? This sounds like an impossible paradox. Transformative Life Coaching (TLC) creates the space for you to be the person that you dream of being who could imagine what that life could look like. To tell you what you know deep inside you already: But it’s buried so deeply in fear that you can’t even hear that voice: The voice that speaks from the highest possible and most awakened version of you, the real you, your true Self, your soul. You can hear it can't you? And hearing that allows you to transcend your fears and wake up to who you really are, right now. You are so, so, so much more than a bunch of molecules.
Lord Alfred Tennyson, the poet, wrote "The shell must break before the bird can fly." TLC allows the eagle chick to see the eagle flying before it hatches, so that the chick then breaks out of its shell. No one can wake you up, fix you, make you go through the door, or break open your shell for you other than you. But you won't do it until you are shown the eagle that you already are, soaring high: Not until you remember who you are. That is my purpose, as your guide to help you to see the highest you, the eagle, until you see it your Self. This is the role of an Enlightened Witness. Once you see and remember who you are, then you will know what to do, and break out of your shell. As Ralph Waldo Emerson, the philosopher and Transcendentalist, said "Every man is an impossibility until he is born." Abraham Maslow, the American psychologist who created Maslow's 'Hierarchy of Needs', a theory of psychological health predicated on fulfilling innate human needs in priority, culminating in self-actualisation and Enlightenment, wrote "One's only rival is one's own potentialities. One's only failure is failing to live up to one's own possibilities. In this sense, every man can be a king, and must therefore be treated like a king."
Picasso said "Everything you can imagine is real." TLC helps you to imagine; to see. You can change the world from heaven to hell and back again in a single hour, even if nothing outside of you changes. And you do this many times a day. And you still think that you are limited? You create your world.
Eckhart Tolle said "Realise that there is a freedom within, where limitations can be transcended. Through non-judgement of the present moment, non-reaction, and an openness to what is." Peace is accessed in this way, through the acronym JAR:
Non-Judgement of one's Self or others - this is sometimes called surrender or 'letting go'
Non-Resistance to what is: The 'isness' of the present moment
Suffering comes from resistance toward a decision that your heart knows is right for you. Your heart is the dwelling place of your soul: Your true Self. When you resist what is true for you, difficulties ensue to try to get you back on the divine path. These will keep coming until you learn the lessons that will lead to your wisdom. Trust your heart: It knows. Your fear (the language of your ego) will try to convince you that it's better to stay put than make a change. This is why so many people become comfortable in their own discomfort. Yet stagnancy leads to dis-ease, which will manifest in disease and mental illness. Your heart will never lead you astray. There's a reason things are difficult. Life is moving you to step up into your highest gear, take intuitive action, make a change, and move forward. Trust the process. Trust life. Trust your Self. Trust your heart and William make the change. I hear you. I see you. I have walked your path. I am here to serve you. I am here to remind you of who you truly are.
Will is willpower or determination. It’s ego. It's like fighting the Universe. You will never win. I have decided to turn my will and life over to the care of the Universe. Trust your intuition. It is divinely sent: That’s how the Universe will care for me and take away my fears and egocentric will.
William Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet that “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” There are always three ways that you can view a situation: It is a conscious choice to focus on the negative over the positive but sadly all too common to do so: It is better to say that there is no negative and positive, there just is. This third space is where you will come to dwell.
You may drop attachments to thoughts and emotions
When I first started coaching, my coach (yes, all coaches have coaches - it's because we all believe in the power of coaching in anyone's life) asked me to phone people, during our coaching session, and ask them if they would like me to coach them. The first person I ever phoned said "Yes, of course, I would love that." The second person said "No, I am really busy working with my therapist right now." What did I learn? Firstly, that a 'yes' and a 'no' felt the same to me, which I was surprised by. When my coach asked me why I wasn't surprised by that I replied, "Because I realise that a 'no' has nothing to do with my Self-worth, it's always to do with them, and where they are at, which is fine, and it's nothing to do with me." He said "Yes! You have learned your first lesson." Plan plans and let go of results. You can't control the hand you are dealt, but you can plan how to play it.
Ram Dass said “It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”
Steve Chandler, supercoach, wrote “Push past the fear… Coaching must become fearless to succeed in big ways. Coaching is about courage and creativity.. You can’t skip that… Coaching is not about information. It’s about Transformation. Change someone’s life. All other activities are weak-kneed and wimpy and will have you quit this profession in absolute despair.” To quote Dan Millman from his book ‘The Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior' "It’s not the Journey to the Peaceful Warrior: It's the Way of the Peaceful Warrior.” The journey itself creates the warrior. You find your voice, connect with your suppressed emotions like anger and joy, and become able to speak Truth to 'power.' Mark Twain wrote "It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened." So, a 'yes' and a 'no' are the same outcome because you asked: After you ask it's no longer about you. When you realise that, you have lost your fear, and you have found true success, as you are not attached to any outcome or thoughts about it. You simply take the leap (the action) then let it go and trust in the Universe.
Eckhart Tolle wrote “When you say “yes” to the “isness” of life, when you accept this moment as it is, you can feel a sense of spaciousness within you that is deeply peaceful. When you live in complete acceptance of what is, that is the end of all drama in your life... There is a fine balance between honouring the past and losing yourself in it. For example, you can acknowledge and learn from mistakes you made, and then move on and refocus on the now. It is called forgiving yourself.” That is where everyone starts their journey to peace.
It’s not 'stuff' that makes us full of joy: It’s our actions. Particularly when you let go of the outcome. As Immanuel Kant wrote "A categorical imperative would be one which represented an action as objectively necessary in itself, without reference to any other purpose." It's all about taking action, and letting go of the outcomes. The Universe will co-create and move things around for you. You will see.
Immanuel Kant, a renowned philosopher of the 18th century, is best known for his groundbreaking work in the field of ethics and metaphysics. His influential book, “Critique of Pure Reason,” published in 1781, revolutionised philosophical thought and continues to be a cornerstone of modern philosophy. Kant’s ideas on reason, knowledge, and morality have had a profound impact on various disciplines, making his work highly relevant even today
Take the leap: You will grow wings
I remember a while ago, when I was facing a huge fear. Not facing that fear was keeping me in fear: 'Unfelt fear' causes the most extreme fear. Fear is always the result of inaction due to a thought that is paralysing you. A friend reached out, a colleague of mine, and said "Let's face your fear together." I immediately said "Yes!" It was like we were preparing to bungee jump together. And it felt exactly like that. I took the plunge, and my terror turned into tears of joy. Imagine having an authentic emotional moment with a colleague. It was a miracle that grew my wings to full span in seconds, and they have remained, as below.
Once you leap into the unknown you will instantly grow wings
You know as well as I do when a fear is conquered there is no other feeling like it. Complete and utter euphoria. For that moment in time you are invincible, a hero, a king among kings. What if you lived like that all the time?
Eckart Tolle wrote “Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.” Make the inside a field of infinite possibility. The only thing that is holding you back is your fear. Take the leap: Have Faith. Faith is simply the courage to live your life. Henry James wrote "I don't regret a single excess of my responsive youth. I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn't embrace."
What is true success?
Contrary to what you might think, and even 'pop-psychology' advice from 'influencers', 'success' is not the result of hard work, hustle, longer hours, more shots of caffeine, energy drinks, never giving up, skipping lunch, sleepless nights, more elbowing your colleagues out of the way, back-stabbing, political manoeuvring, ego, subterfuge, perseverance, determination, 'resilience', or grit. There is no need to rush. There is nowhere to rush to. You are already home. It's a journey within. That's good news! True success is about creating a space of limitless possibility, where you are not attached to the outcome, and that is how you become fearless. Knowing that “All is well”. Challenges seems like they are breaking you. However, in truth, they are making you into the most limitless and versatile version of yourself.
Achieving true success, according to Tolle, is achieved "By realising you are already there... Your inner purpose is to awaken.” Joseph Campbell, who described the Hero's Journey, said that "The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are... Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain... Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.... It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure... A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself... Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were only walls... When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness... I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive... The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the Universe, to match your nature with Nature." This feels like a blissful hug from 'God', the Universe, love, your Highest Self, and your parents and loved ones. The only true success is feeling what knowing what this hug from 'God' feels like: This is true success. It is bliss. The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be. You can come to live there: This is Enlightenment. It is enough. It comes from being called to being peace, love and joy; not by being driven by a sense of unworthiness and the need to survive. If you are driven (which feels like pressure in your chest, which is actually heartache), rather than being called, you will be driven insane.
The treasure chest is infinite once you believe in your unfathomable potential to do, have, and become anything that you want. The Universe, not the sky, is the limit, and the Universe is infinite. You are one with it: You just don’t see it, yet. If the sky was the limit, stars would not light our way to the edge of the Universe.
The philosopher Søren Kierkegaard wrote "If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!" Get ready for bliss and miracles to become entwined in your life.
Eckhart Tolle wrote “You also realise that all the things that truly matter - beauty, love, creativity, joy, and inner peace - arise from beyond the mind... When you want to arrive at your goal more than you want to be doing what you are doing, you become stressed... You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.” So, true success is not about achieving anything. It's about becoming. That involves inner work, not outer work, and a process of becoming: Of BEing. Once you become, then doing and having follow as naturally as a river flows to the ocean.
Make the inside a field of infinite possibility. You cannot fix your Self. Tolle says that “As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for Grace and love to enter.”
Mahatma Gandhi wrote "I must reduce my Self to zero... Be the change you wish to see in the world." This philosophy led him to being one of the most recognised and powerful beings in human history. Tolle wrote that his “Main purpose was not to add new information or beliefs to your mind or to try to convince you of anything, but to bring about a shift in consciousness that is to say, to awaken... The beginning of freedom is the realisation that you are not “the thinker.” The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated. You then begin to realise that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realise that all the things that truly matter – beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace – arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.” So, success is more than material abundance, as that can never bring beauty, love, creativity, joy, and inner peace. Realising that success is who you are, the result of inner transformation, is the realisation of a lifetime. Your value is your journey: Your transformation. Tolle writes that "Ultimately what you do is secondary. But how you do it is primary.” Your limitless goal is your transformation: Your limitless goal is transforming into the real you. It is like the Zen parable of the student who asks “Teacher, what does it mean to work on your Self?” The teacher replies “It is to stop waiting for the others to change.”
Tolle wrote “Don’t wait to be successful at some future point. Have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success... You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realising who you are at the deepest level.” If you make love and peace your goal you will possess all the Universe inside you, and you will be guided in all your actions by total clarity, always learning, growing, and guided towards the light. This is how you become fearless and unstoppable. Trust the process of your life. Before you act you must understand. Sometimes you simply need to relax into life and to trust: Like a flower growing in its own time. Surrender to who you truly are.
Gratitude plays a huge part in success. As Tolle wrote “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” Express your gratitude to the Universe daily.
Act as if everything that happens is for your highest good. This is the origin of the Greek Stoic Philosophy of 'Amor Fati': 'Love your fate' as if you had chosen it. This is the only way to achieve true success. For this you must be convinced that your path is not a random one.
As Einstein said "God does not play dice." The only difference between you, 'God', or Universal Consciousness is that you don't know what your path looks like and you are not 100 percent convinced of it. If you could only trust, surrender, and let go, focussing on one decision at a time, made from a place of love, one day at a time then you would feel bliss and peace, all the time, knowing that "All is well" and that whatever happens is for the greatest good. The other thing to think about is that you cannot fight the Universe in any case, so you may as well let go of the rope. If you don't, it will only bring misery, resentment, burnout and failure. And you have tried that, right? We all have, we just don't know it until we wake up.
Your path to success consists of realising that success is who you are
Be "present" and aware of the 'signs': When you are doing good the Universe conspires to help you. The problem is that we spend our lives in auto-pilot oblivious to the signs and help offered.
Tolle wrote “If you are content with being nobody in particular, content not to stand out, you align yourself with the power of the Universe. What looks like weakness to the ego is in fact the only true strength. This spiritual truth is diametrically opposed to the values of our contemporary culture and the way it conditions people to behave.” The King Baby "Me, me, me" culture. That’s why Mahatma Gandhi said “I know that I have still before me a difficult path to traverse. I must reduce myself to zero. So long as a man does not of his own free will put himself last among his fellow creatures, there is no salvation for him.” Jesus and the Buddha had no possessions, no home and they were two of the most powerful human beings that ever lived. Who will be speaking about you in over 2,000 years? They might be if you follow the path...
Mother Theresa said "I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us, and we change things."
Everything that happens to you is for the best and for a reason. There have been times where things seemingly haven't gone "your way": However looking back they have always been for the best. Trust the process; the rewards are infinite.
The only reality is love. We are love. Fear is merely an absence of real love. So you don't need to 'overcome' your fears: When you can see the possibility for your life, and that comes from a place of love, your soul; you simply transcend your fears.
There is no limit to what your heart can accomplish and what your soul can realise. You are love, and love is infinite. Love is the unseen but very real energy that underpins the entire Universe. Poets, philosophers and even many scientists like Einstein would agree. It is what can't be seen or identified by science, but that is a failure of science, not of love. Love is the ultimately powerful Universal force that includes and governs all others, and is even behind any phenomena operating in the Universe. Like Einstein, I truly believe that it is what a unified theory of the Universe would look like: The Power of Love.
Tolle says that “Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.”
Love is power, because it multiplies the best that we have, and allows humanity not to be extinguished in our blind selfishness, lack of compassion and dysfunctionality. There is no limit to the power of love. Mahatma Gandhi said “Whenever you are confronted with an opponent Conquer him with love.”
Emmet Fox said “There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer: No disease that love will not heal: No door that enough love will not open... It makes no difference how deep set the trouble: How hopeless the outlook: How muddled the tangle: How great the mistake. A sufficient realisation of love will dissolve it all. If only you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful BEing in the world.”
The Dalai Lama said “The more you are motivated by love, the more fearless your action will be.” Mahatma Gandhi wrote “Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment.”
Acceptance
Tolle wrote “Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness.” Acceptance brings the peace that 'Passes all understanding.' This is quoted in Philippians 4:7, which reads, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 'Burning out' is the opposite of this. It’s when you finally realise that however hard you hustle, that is never the answer. That’s why you try so hard to change everyone and everything around you and yet you feel dead inside. Tolle wrote “What matters to you is not necessarily what you say or believe, but what your actions and reactions reveal as important and serious to you… If small things have the power to disturb you, then who you think you are is exactly that: small. That will be your unconscious belief.”
Tolle wrote “If peace is really what you want, then you will choose peace. If peace mattered to you more than anything else and if you truly knew yourself to be spirit rather than a little me, you would remain nonreactive and absolutely alert when confronted with challenging people or situations. You would immediately accept the situation and thus become one with it rather than separate yourself from it... Accepting means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. It is part of the 'isness' of the Now. You can’t argue with what is. Well, you can, but if you do, you suffer.” If the fear of suffering guides your actions then you have already failed and lost. It's time to give acceptance an experiential try.
Tolle continued “How do you let go of attachment to things? Don’t even try. It’s impossible. Attachment to things drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them.” Don't seek external validation. What people say or do has nothing to do with you. It’s to do with them. Carl Jung described this as projection, which is linked to denial. Projection tends to come to the fore in people at times of their personal crisis and is commonly found in narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder and paranoid personalities. Carl Jung considered that the unacceptable parts of the personality represented by the Shadow archetype were particularly likely to give rise to projection, both small-scale and on an international basis. Projection is a malignant defence mechanism in which the ego defends itself against disowned and highly negative parts of the self by denying their existence in themselves and attributing them to others, breeding misunderstanding and causing untold interpersonal damage based on lies. A persecutor and bully will project their own feelings of vulnerability onto their target, and a person who is confused may project feelings of confusion and inadequacy onto other people. Projection incorporates blame shifting and can manifest as shame dumping.
Jesus warned (Matthew 7:5) against projection: "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." This verse warns us against hypocrisy, seeing the flaw ('sin') in another while ignoring the obvious 'sin' in our own lives. Jesus always made clear that judging was to be done by the Father, and humans should concern themselves with making their own soul ready for acceptance into the Kingdom of God. The focus should always be on God’s grace, and in obedience rooting out the 'sin' in our lives rather than concerning ourselves with the 'sins' of others. Labels are dehumanising, allowing people to act inhumanely. Tolle said “When you don’t cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life.”
You create your world, according to Tolle, and all your success, by accepting it “Remember that your perception of the world is a reflection of your state of consciousness. You are not separate from it, and there is no objective world out there. Every moment, your consciousness creates the world that you inhabit... To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of Grace, ease, and lightness.” I have found that true success means simply to aim for peace as your authentic Self.
Acceptance is the basis of the 12-step prayer "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to accept the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
There are no obstacles
Tolle wrote “There have been many people for whom limitations, failure, loss, or pain in whatever form turned out to be their greatest teacher. It taught them to let go of false self-images and superficial ego-dictated goals and desires. It gave them depth, humility and compassion. It made them more real.”
Roy T Bennet wrote "Turn your obstacles into opportunities and your problems into possibilities."
Tolle wrote “Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is life itself, it is an insane way to live.”
Let your light burn out your Self-doubt
When you take the transformative path to success (which is the only true path to real success that does not return to dust) it can feel unsettling at first and difficult to trust the process of letting go. Why? Because it feels so alien to us. The creative authentic actions that you take will feel at first feel vulnerable and you may become filled with Self-doubt and egocentric fear.
Letting go of attachment to outcomes and trusting the Universe is a massive shift for us. Such doubt signals a phase in the journey that we all pass through; where we have lost sight of the bigger picture; of our generative infinite potential. We become scared of our own light, retreating back into the shadows. We start forgetting what we have learned. We lose Faith. We stop practicing gratitude. Our doubt holds us back from seeing the goodness, rightness, and beauty of what is happening. When mired in doubt we become fixated on thoughts that reflect fear instead of love. We start to feel lack rather than abundance, pessimism instead of optimism, and confusion instead of clarity.
It is then, when you are in the 'grip of doubt', that you try to wrest back control instead of letting go and trusting the process and the Universe. You exercise your will, returning to being determined to make things happen. This inevitably takes you back to old conditioned patterns of thinking and behaviour, because you 'got results' in the past in this way. Taking action makes you feel that you are doing something, moving forwards, that you are the master of your own destiny, but this shift back into ego is actually a loss of Personal Power. It's what you have always done and you have nothing to show for it. You are temporarily assuaging the negative feelings of mistrust, confusion, 'the void', and lack of control.
It's time for a gentle reminder and a pause to come back to your Self. In reality what is happening is that your doubt-driven actions no longer align to the intuitive wisdom, higher Truth and the way of BEing that you are trying to embody, and soon enough, you will fall to your knees exhausted and burned out by your futile efforts. It's what you have always done. It's what we all do.
This is where having a guide changes everything. As your Transformative Life Coach (TLC), I will help you to return you to balance. When the voice of doubt arises in you, along with all the angst it generates, my role as your Transformative Life Coach (TLC) is to create and hold space in which your voice of doubt can be heard, as it is. I will allow you plenty of room to decompress, to breathe, to feel and release your pent up emotion, remind you of who you truly are, and gently bring you back into connection with your infinite creative capacity, your Personal Power, your intuition, with the wisdom of your spiritual heart, with a higher flow of thought, from love instead of fear.
I have been where you are. I know the way. I will remind you that all is well, that it is in fact miraculous, and support your return to the inner dimension, that is your desired experience. You tried to build a tower before, but you built one with no 'spiritual' foundations, and so it crumbled and returned to dust. I will energise a shift into the state that you desire and your light will burn out your Self-doubt. This is the whole journey. Most likely we will need to do this more than once. This may feel circuitous; it is, and that's fine. We may need to review your lack of trust in your Self again and again; it was conditioned out of you for so many years. The path will always take us on an endless upwards spiral of clarity, where more and more is revealed about the nature of Self, barriers to progress, and what it means to trust in life.
Each transformative journey is unique and my guidance will be tailored to what you need. You will find that lessons in life are repeated until they are learned. Those lessons are yours and they are part of your 'school of life'.
The book 'A Course in Miracles' was written by a psychologist and states that "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." Marianne Williamson, who has spent her life teaching this course, wrote the brilliant book 'A Return to Love', and has run as an American Presidential candidate says that "To trust in the force that moves the Universe is Faith. Faith isn't blind; it's visionary. Faith is believing that the Universe knows what it's doing. Faith is the psychological awareness of an unfolding force for good, constantly at work in all dimensions." Remember that authenticity is simplicity. Life is exploring the unknown. I have done it. I have walked your path. Life is experiential: As you will see that when you show up as who you truly are, and that you won't only survive, but you will thrive, your Self-doubt will burn away.
As Marianne Williamson wrote “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing Enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” William Forrester said in 'Finding Forrester' that "We walk away from our dreams afraid we may fail, or worse yet, afraid we may succeed."
In 'A Course in Miracles' it states that "The problem isn't that we ask for too much - the problem is we ask for too little." In the Bible in Matthew 7:7 it states “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." In John 14:13 "Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do." In John 15:7 "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." In James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." In Mark 9:23 "‘If you can’?” said Jesus. 'Everything is possible for one who believes.'" Are you starting to believe in the Universe yet?
Negativity
William Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth "Life is but a walking shadow... A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." The world class coach Robin Sharma, also the brilliant author of the wonderful introduction to spirituality and how it leads to success 'The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari', which is on my recommended reading list, wrote “My encouragement: Delete the energy vampires from your life, clean out all complexity, build a team around you that frees you to fly, remove anything toxic, and cherish simplicity. Because that’s where genius lives.”
Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life who don't want to evolve, you will never be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so that you can grow. Don't join them in their de-evolutionary sess-pit. Don't hesitate: Fumigate.
Negative people may be your greatest teachers as they show you how not to be. The greatest success is to not become like them. Forgive them and forget them. As the poet and philosopher Khalil Gibran wrote "I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers." And it's ok to have the feeling of not being grateful: You don't when you love your Self. "The Dalai Lama wrote "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." Jean-Jacques Rousseau, the writer and philosopher who helped bring about the Age of Enlightenment,.wrote "What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?"
As Maya Angelou, the writer, scholar, and civil rights activist, wrote "Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean... You may write me down in history with your bitter, twisted lines. You may trod me in the very dirt, but still, like dust, I'll rise... Most people don't grow up. It's too damn difficult. What happens is most people get older. That's the truth of it. They honour their credit cards, they find parking spaces, they marry, they have the nerve to have children, but they don't grow up... Self-pity in its early stage is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable." By the term 'growing up', Maya Angelou means awakening from the ego.
It's ok to be angry: It really is. It's a positive emotion when expressed authentically and communicated assertively. Suppressing it is often the result of childhood trauma. There are healthy ways of expressing anger. Bitterness, like the taste, is a sign of poison.
Dr Gabor Maté, the foremost authority, speaker, and writer on addiction and compassion, wrote “Depending on circumstances, I may choose to manifest the anger in some way or to let go of it. The key is that I have not suppressed the experience of it. When we flee our vulnerability, we lose our full capacity for feeling emotion. Resentment is soul suicide." Shame can also rule our lives. Dr Gabor Maté wrote "Shame is the deepest of the “negative emotions,” a feeling we will do almost anything to avoid. Unfortunately, our abiding fear of shame impairs our ability to see reality." Negative people live in an ugly world of illusion, subterfuge, fear, shame, lies, and hate. That is not what their souls desire.
Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. Resurrect from your crucifixion
Maya Angelou on skeletons in people's closets
Dr Gabor Maté wrote "We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind with which we create our world... Your worst enemy cannot hurt you as much as your own thoughts, when you haven’t mastered them.`` You can only work on your Self, never on anyone else. That's their job. It's not a 'me issue', it's a 'you issue.'
Success involves removing all thoughts, emotions, people and situations that don't bring you peace, love and joy. Negativity does not come from the Universe: It comes from ego: The ego is a liar. Shame is a liar. Trauma is a liar. The problem is that negative, devious, ugly people start to begin their own lies. As Maya Angelou wrote "Don't bring negative to my door." Fortunately, nothing that is of real value can be lost, only the false dissolves on your journey to transformation..
Surrender all thoughts that are not of 'God' (the Universe). Charles F. Glassman wrote in 'The Brain Drain' that "Believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success." The human condition is one where people love, then seek to destroy, then love again. It's always this sequence. Get off this yo-yoing 'not-so-merry-go-round'. Jesus said "Forgive them, for they know not what they are doing." Forgive and forget.
T.D. Jakes wrote "You must realise that if you are going to reach the heights you have been called to reach, you may elicit some criticism from those who are jealous, petty or angry because they were left behind." Sylvester Stallone said "There's a natural law of Karma that vindictive people, who go out of their way to hurt others, will end up broke and alone." You can bend the laws of physics, but never the laws of Nature. Karma is real.
Joseph Campbell said "Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself." Stay away from bitter fruit and bitter people. As Zig Ziglar wrote "Don't be distracted by criticism. Remember ~ the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you." It's not your job to be a fruit! Tolle says that “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” The only true sin is choosing not to wake up to who you could be. It is your choice.
Negativity results from you believing that the world is hostile, because of your experiences as a child. As psychologists say "If it's hysterical, it's historical." Dr Gabor Maté wrote "What seems like a reaction to some present circumstance is, in fact, a reliving of past emotional experience." This is always the case. The world is a playground full of egoic angry people reacting from their unresolved childhood shame and fear. Tolle wrote “When you no longer perceive the world as hostile, there is no more fear, and when there is no more fear, you think, speak and act differently. Love and compassion arise, and they affect the world.” Laurence J Peter wrote "An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his nightmares to."
Dan Millman wrote "Saints were saints because they acted with loving kindness whether they felt like it or not." As Jesus (who was pure love) said "Cast not pearls before swine." Turn fear into gold; transmute the pain into all that you ever wished.
Nathaniel Branden wrote "There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity." The converse is also true.
As Tolle wrote to those who are negative "Do not pollute your beautiful, radiant being nor the Earth with negativity. Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let it go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed, angry or hard-done-by person. You will then ignore, deny or self-sabotage anything that is positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon. It is also insane. Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible.” That’s why those who love a self-pity-party stick together and then race to the bottom of the snake pit. So to the trolls and stalker out there, bon appétit! Try not to choke on our joy.
As Tolle says “Life wants to support you. But first you need to be open to life”
Trolls, the tabloid press, ‘cancel culture’ (a misnomer as no one may judge anyone else and social media has become irrelevant and just a hiding place for people who are inherently inauthentic), and misguided 'institutions' are the cause of mental illness, not the solution to it. They represent impossibility, sickness, limitation, judgement, self-destruction, and death, in themselves; never their 'target'.
Not everyone has a soul: There are soulless zombies out there. Not everyone can be present. Not everyone feels emotion. When those people cannot, and will not, have your love; that is unbearable to them as they want to control you, and they are unlovable. Your mistake was to give them temporary relief of their preexisting pain. When you removed your Self from the situation as you realised how toxic they were, they blamed all the pain that they have decided to carry on you. Those people are incapable of giving or receiving real love or compassion, even to themselves and those that are unlucky enough to be close to them, which is why they crave you. So they seek imitation love in the form of vain attempts at it through changing their unacceptable appearance, masks, pretending to be other than who they actually are, cosmetic surgery, inauthenticity, judgement, attempts at financial gain, and mock righteousness; from an ugly place of utter desperation, confusion and being deeply asleep: The irony is that the only thing that is actually ‘broken’ in their lives is their psyche. These people are restless, irritable, discontent and devious persecuting manipulators who cannot find peace. They seek drama incessantly as they cannot bear that people don't want anything to do with them. They are persecutors masquerading as victims. These trolls play games in order to manipulate you into their con as they can't show their true face in public and can't bear being without you.
John Mark Green wrote about such dysfunctional individuals that "Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters." Anne Lamott wrote “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” Tell your Truth, loud and clear.
Yvonne Pierre reminds us most importantly “Don’t let toxic people infect you with the fear of giving and receiving one of the most powerful forces in this world… LOVE!”
Dr Gabor Maté wrote "When I am sharply judgemental of any other person, it’s because I sense or see reflected in them some aspect of myself that I don’t want to acknowledge... We have seen in study after study that compulsive thinkers are more likely to develop disease and less likely to survive. Genuine positive thinking - or, more deeply, positive BEing - empowers us to know that we have nothing to fear from Truth... Strong convictions do not necessarily signal a powerful sense of self: Very often quite the opposite. Intensely held beliefs may be no more than a person’s unconscious effort to build a sense of self to fill what, underneath, is experienced as a vacuum. Compassionate curiosity directed toward the self leads to the Truth of things. Boredom, rooted in a fundamental discomfort with the self, is one of the least tolerable mental states. Work pressures, multitasking, social media, news updates, multiplicities of entertainment sources - these all induce us to become lost in thoughts, frantic activities, gadgets, and meaningless conversations. We are caught up in pursuits of all kinds that draw us on not because they are necessary or inspiring or uplifting, or because they enrich or add meaning to our lives, but simply because they obliterate the present. We must all accept responsibility for our actions, else the world becomes unliveable. Yet it would be a tremendous social advance if we made some effort to understand what experiences turn people into flawed or irresponsible or even antisocial beings."
Steve Maraboli wrote “It's rare for a toxic person to change their behaviour. More often, the only thing that varies is their target and the blame they place. Because some toxic people are difficult to identify, keep in mind that a victim mindset is sometimes a red flag. So, listen when someone talks about their life and circumstances. If the list of people they blame is long… It's probably only a matter of time before you're on that list.”
Jesus said according to Romans 12:10 "Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves." In Mark 12:30-31, Jesus says “'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.’" In Corinthians 13:4-7 Jesus gave a quote that is often quoted in churches and weddings "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the Truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Compassion, love, kindness, and humility are key to any success. As it says in Colossians 3:12-13 "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." In Peter 3:8-9 Jesus says "Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." In John 3:18 Jesus says "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in Truth." Be a blessing, Anything else is ego and fear.
Brené Brown wrote "First and foremost, we need to be the adults we want our children to be. We should watch our own gossiping and anger. We should model the kindness we want to see." William Shakespeare wrote "Your gentleness shall force more than your force moves us to gentleness.” He reminded us to smile at negativity "The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief... I must be cruel, only to be kind... How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world... Beauty lives with kindness... Kindness nobler ever than revenge."
Have you ever noticed that those that want a fight with you, because they claim to hate you, are actually pursuing you, which must be either because they love you, or they hate themselves? Ernie J. Zelinski wrote "Misery doesn't only love company. It demands it. For this reason, don't walk away from negative people. RUN!" Judith Orloff wrote "Certain people give off positive energy, others negative. It's the quality of someone's being, a measure of the love with which they've led their lives. It also reflects the inner work they've done, their efforts to heal anger, hatred, or self-loathing, which poison us like toxic fumes." As Mahatma Gandhi said "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." Rita Mae Brown wrote that "The price of dishonesty is self-destruction." The choice is yours: Do the inner work or not.
Carl Jung, the most eminent psychologist of all time, believed that the greatest danger to human civilisation lay not in the weapons we have at our disposal, but in the inability to understand our own selves. For it is this ignorance, and the failure to face-up to our own weaknesses and destructiveness, that causes what should be an internal battle to manifest itself in the external world."
Toxic people literally make themselves ill. Dr Gabor Maté explains "What we want and demand from the world needs to conform to our present needs, not to unconscious, unsatisfied needs from childhood. If distinctions between past and present blur, we will perceive loss or the threat of loss where none exists." Resentment is soul suicide. Dr Gabor Maté continues "Strong convictions do not necessarily signal a powerful sense of self: Very often quite the opposite. Intensely held beliefs may be no more than a person’s unconscious effort to build a sense of self to fill what, underneath, is experienced as a vacuum. Shame is the deepest of the 'negative emotions,' a feeling we will do almost anything to avoid. Unfortunately, our abiding fear of shame impairs our ability to see reality."
Tolle says that “The mind is essentially a survival machine. Attack and defence against other minds, gathering, storing, and analysing information – this is what it is good at, but it is not at all creative. All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness.” Be a creator, not a zombie.
Sadly, for negative people, as Eckhart Tolle writes about their vain attempts “Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within, and it is available to you now. The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you... The quicker you are in attaching verbal or mental labels to things, people, or situations, the more shallow and lifeless your reality becomes, and the more deadened you become to reality.”
Tolle continues of these individuals and 'institutions' “Fear arises through identification with form, whether it be a material possession, a physical body, a social role, a self-image, a thought, or an emotion. It arises through unawareness of the formless inner dimension of consciousness or Spirit, which is the essence of who you are. You are trapped in object consciousness, unaware of the dimension of inner space which alone is true freedom. Fear seems to have many causes. Fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and so on, but ultimately all fear is the ego's fear of death, of annihilation. To the ego, death is always just around the corner. In this mind-identified state, fear of death affects every aspect of your life. If the thought of lack – whether it be money, recognition, or love – has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. Rather than acknowledge the good that is already in your life, all you see is lack. No matter what you have or get, you won’t be happy. You will always be looking for something else that promises greater fulfilment, that promises to make your incomplete sense of self complete and fill that sense of lack you feel within.” Ignore and forget these toxic people: They are irremediable. Let the outdated institutions crumble: They always do. There is nothing that you need to do.
Negativity breeds contempt. Lewis Carroll wrote “If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does... One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others... If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later."
Negative people represent hatred, originating in their childhood fears, masquerading as self love. The self-obsessed 'pity party' that they throw for anyone asleep and foolish enough to take the poisonous bait that is all that they have to offer: Their world represents the basest mechanisms of human dysfunctionality and personality disorders. Like hyenas, buzzards, zombies, leeches and parasites they are actually soul-less repeat offenders and persecutors, not victims, and they scavenge for morsels, hiding behind masks as inauthentic fakes, denying all self-responsibility as adults who are ashamed of their decisions; moving from one 'prey' to another as they ultimately realise that their methods don't work, that they are incapable of loving thoughts and therefore unable to have relationships, but can't admit it to even themselves. It's tragic really. Some people actually live like that. And some people live for that. That's so very sad, and so very true.
Eckhart Tolle wrote “Dogmas are collective conceptual prisons. And the strange thing is that people love their prison cells because they give them a sense of security and a false sense of ‘I know.’ Nothing has inflicted more suffering on humanity than its dogmas... Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.” The tragic story of human history is that those who are asleep judge those who are awake and feel righteous in doing so, yet are full of shame and projection themselves, making relentless yet futile efforts that are a total waste of their own time. Leave them to it.
As Tolle says “If I find here and Now unacceptable, I have three choices:
Totally accept it.
Change it.
Remove myself from the situation.
That is taking responsibility for your life... When you complain, you make yourself a victim.” You can not make an unhappy life acceptable by trying to change someone or something else. You are your problem, your own worst enemy, but you are also your solution, if you choose to be. It’s your choice. The self-pity-party is over. No more hide and seek. No more masks When you judge, then you are simply showing the world that you have no compassion. When you judge, or play the victim, you cannot grow, so you can only make your small self feel better through projection.
If you are poison on the inside, you will never be beautiful, and you will drink your own poison. Atticus wrote "We drink the poison our own minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick." Nelson Mandela concluded on negativity that "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." Never a good idea. Life just doesn't work like that.
You have a choice, unless you don't want to have one
Henry David Thoreau wrote “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
Deepak Chopra wrote "You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence, we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices."
As Thomas Merton wrote "You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognise the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, Faith and hope."
Presence is the golden key to everything
Eckhart Tolle wrote “Be aware of your breathing. Notice how this takes attention away from your thinking and creates space... Whenever you step out of the noise of thinking, that is meditation, and a different state of consciousness arises... Even if you achieve your outer purpose, it will never satisfy you if you haven’t found your inner purpose, which is awakening, being present, being in alignment with life. True power comes out of the presence; it is the presence... Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is life itself, it is an insane way to live... Wherever you are, be there totally... Love, joy, and peace cannot flourish until you have freed yourself from mind dominance... You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognise the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.”
Believe in your Self and love your Self
Success cannot come from self-hatred (the ego): It must come from a place of total Self-belief and Self-love. Mahatma Gandhi wrote "Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning."
As Tolle says “The power is in you. The answer is in you. And you are the answer to all your searches: you are the goal. You are the answer. It’s never outside. This is why when you make peace, love and joy your expansive goal you realise that you are peace love and joy, then you are all that you will ever need. True Power is within, and it is available now... The word 'Enlightenment' conjures up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with BEing... In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just BEing... The joy of BEing, which is the only true happiness, cannot come to you through any form, possession, achievement, person, or event – through anything that happens. That joy cannot come to you – ever. It emanates from the formless dimension within you, from consciousness itself and thus is one with who you are... Drop the mask, be authentic. Give up defining yourself – to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”
BEing: As Eckhart Tolle says “The power is in you. The answer is in you. And you are the answer to all your searches: you are the goal. You are the answer
Tolle continues “Most people's lives are run by desire and fear. Desire is the need to add something to yourself in order to be yourself more fully. All fear is the fear of losing something and thereby becoming diminished and being less. These two movements obscure the fact that BEing cannot be given or taken away. BEing in its fullness is already within you, Now... Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment… Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life – and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.”
Summary
Ask your Self this “When you want something, what could possibly stop you?” No-one and no-thing can stop you. The limit is not even the sky. The limit is the mind. Limitations are like shadows; they are only there until you turn on the light of your true potential. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.
Life is not up to us, but it’s not not up to us: It’s co-creation with the Universe. When we are very clear about our intention the Universe has a way of moving the pieces around for that to be manifested. Intention is something that we uncover.
Don’t focus on goals: Focus on uncovering your intent and purpose. The fruit of your creation will be success.
Take the leap of Faith. Don't be attached to outcomes. Keep learning. By identifying with your highest Self and aiming only for peace, love, and joy, all abundance will follow. Have gratitude for what you have.
You feel it don’t you? The spiritual cannot be measured or described like physical entities. But it very real. In fact everything else is an illusion. Your soul is the feeling that we will create in our TLC sessions together. My primary role is to see the highest, infinite version of you until you see it your Self: To be your Enlightened Witness. From that place of possibility your limitations all fall away; you will transcend them. You will hear the still quiet voice inside you that connects with all the intuitive possibility, wisdom, and Truth of who you are. It’s your expanded consciousness that allows you to create whatever you want in life, with the full force of the Universe behind you. There is no limit to what your open heart can accomplish and what your soul can realise. You are love, and love is infinite.
Eckhart Tolle urges us to transcend our limitations by remembering who we are: "Only the Truth of who you are, if realised, will set you free... That is the real spiritual awakening, when something emerges from within you that is deeper than who you thought you were. So, the person is still there, but one could almost say that something more powerful shines through the person... You are not IN the universe, you ARE the Universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the Universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle... You are not ‘in the now;’ you are the now. That is your essential identity-the only thing that never changes. Life is always now. Now is consciousness. And consciousness is who you are. That’s the equation... The ultimate truth of who you are is not I am this or I am that, but 'I AM.'” Amen to that.
Don't give life to your Self doubts through your thinking. Drop any attachments to outcomes. In every moment you have a choice to create from fear, as a result of your past experience, or love, which is your true nature. Your fundamental wellbeing is never impacted.
Hate no one, no matter how much they've wronged you. Live humbly, however wealthy you become. Think positively, no matter how much negativity surrounds you. Give much, that will invoke the Law of Karma: It is in giving that we receive. Forgive all, especially your Self.
You will experience these realisations and I will be there to guide you. Everything is up for grabs: You have infinite possibility. You will see, you will experience, and you will believe in and have Faith in your Self again. Wisdom works in real time and responds when you take action and feel into it. Follow your Truth. Follow your intuitive wisdom. Follow your authenticity: If you show up as your true Self everything will be fine. Authenticity takes care of everything as you know where you are coming from. This will be your experience. It is so simple. Only doubt makes you believe otherwise.
How would you live if you knew that everything would always be well and that nothing could be taken from who you are? Your light will burn up your Self doubt. Break the ice of unexpressed desire from others that you are oblivious to because of your Self-doubt and you will see that the river of abundance is flowing from who you are.
Everything is working in your favour when you start trusting the Universe and your Self, which are one. It's when you are BEing that the action and results are aligned to it. When it's real, it's real. Authenticity is simplicity. The Universe has a plan for your life. You just need to let go and trust it. You will create from this place. Exchange your fearful chattering mind for the stillness of the Universe. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God."
Fear or Faith? You choose. In Transformative Life Coaching (TLC) I will create a space for you to explore your true desires, your possibilities, your choices, and what you want to create without Self-doubt, fear, or attachment to outcomes: How may I serve your intuition? We are on the spirit team. Ask and the Universe will provide. There is a beauty in the trust of asking beyond what it is that you're asking for: Trust an infinite Universe rather than the illusion of a finite self. There is a deeper spiritual nature in possibility that literally creates worlds and opens up elevated opportunities that you never even dreamed of, as well as infinite results. Are you ready? It's going to be quite a journey!
Sending you love, light, and blessings.
Please let me know if you would like to join my 'VOICE for men' group: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, and timeless truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears.
Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
My gift is to be your guide. Let me know if you would like to continue this conversation...
Email me: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk
“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford
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Hello,
I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching. I am here to serve you.
See you soon,
Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.