You Are OK and All Is Well. Truly. You Don't Believe Me? Let Me Explain...
All is well
All is well
You are ok. “All is well” says Anthony de Mello”, the pioneering spiritual teacher and author. He says “You know, all mystics - Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion - are unanimous on one thing: That ‘all is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well’. Strange paradox, to be sure. But, tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.”
In a coaching session today I observed my coachee speaking to his future Self, who told him that all is well. It was very powerful. His future Self described his upwards trajectory towards bliss. My coachee and I meditated together. He described being submersed in a torrent of water up to his neck and yet God was embracing him. Feeling God's love and compassion he then described just standing up and realising that the depth of the torrent was an illusion. He was able to do this himself. This is the essence of supercoaching.
"All is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well." Anthony de Mello
Anthony de Mello's book 'Awareness' was the first spiritual book that I read four years ago when I decided to commit my life and my Self full-time to personal transformation in service of you. It is a journey into consciousness and is in my recommended reading list. Spirituality means 'waking up.'
Anthony de Mello on Why You Don't Wake Up
Happiness cannot be acquired, by Anthony de Mello
I also love Anthony de Mello's book 'Stop Fixing Yourself'. It invites you to discover a way to find out what motivates you, understand it, and all that is neurotic within you. You will discover that you were always full of joy but that you just didn't know it. Reduce the noise of your 'monkey mind'. Stop fixing your Self. You are ok just as you are. You don't have to do anything. It is simply a matter of being watchful, aware of your reaction, be awake and aware. All that is false and neurotic within you will fall away. Your mind has been programmed to upset your Self. The problem is only your thinking, not the outside world.
Stop Fixing Your Self by Anthony de Mello
Stop Fixing Your Self by Anthony de Mello - book review
Julian of Norwich at 30 years of age was so seriously ill that she thought she was on her deathbed. She received a series of visions, which penetrated the mysteries of the unseen world, where she saw Jesus who said to her "All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."
You are ok. You really are. I know that you don’t feel ok most of the time, but all is actually always well. If you are not feeling ok, this too shall pass. Esther Hicks wrote "If you know that all is well, you know all you need to know." Charles M Schulz wrote "All is well... That's my new philosophy."
You were born with a mind that was at ease, with a heart full of joy, and a total sense of wellbeing. Then other people came in to your life: Parents, teachers, society, our ‘civilisation’ at large, toxic people and started telling you that you would only be ok if you did or didn’t do this or if you achieved or acquired this or that. “Hell is other people” said Jean-Paul Sartre in his play ‘No Exit.’ It does feel at times that there is no exit from this hell.
You are only one thought away from heaven or hell
The problem is our thinking
Our 'stinking thinking' takes us to hell. Our thinking can also take us to heaven. It depends whether we are looking through the lens through fear (hell) or love (heaven). The Western human mind has not solved the overwhelming problems of fear, anxiety, pain, despair, loneliness, emptiness, greed, heartache, hatred, and conflict that are consuming our world right now. Studies have shown that 85% of fears don't happen, and 79% of those that do are resolvable. So, overall 97% of what people worry about isn't real. All 'crises' come from false beliefs. The mind made 'reality' made from fear is just an illusion. All the inventions, technological advances, entertainment, pleasures, and possessions that have been designed and proffered to us to assuage our existential pain have not ever created lasting happiness. This why billionaires who 'have it all' according to societal programming may be suicidal and have terribly dysfunctional personal lives, with families that hate each other. Even billionaires live in a mindset of lack, not abundance, and are driven by a feeling of scarcity. As a species we are addicted to numbing our pain with things that are external to us.
As Aldous Huxley said in 'A Brave New World' "The nature of psychological compulsion is such that those who act under constraint remain under the impression that they are acting on their own initiative. The victim of mind-manipulation does not know that he is a victim. To him the walls of his prison are invisible, and he believes himself to be free. That he is not free is apparent only to other people. His servitude is strictly objective." Thich Nhat Hahn said "The real power of the Buddha was that he had so much love. He saw people trapped in their notions of small separate self, feeling guilty or proud of that self, and he offered revolutionary teachings that resounded like a lion's roar, like a great rising tide, helping people to wake up and break free from the prison of ignorance." How do we escape this prison of our programming?
The secret to joy
The secret has been found: We can only find joy inside ourselves - That is because joy is an inside job. Peace, love, and joy come from the soul. Our society has programmed us to seek ourselves and our joy outside of our Selves. Come home to your Self. We are separated from our true nature. We can shift our perception of reality from the illusions created by programmed fear (our ego, which is our terrified traumatised 7-year old self) coming from our survival brain, into awareness of our negative thinking. We don't need to do anything to reach awareness and become our true highest Self, we just need to remove our blocks to it. We wake up by letting go of fear. There is nothing to fix. No-one can fix themselves or anyone else.
Emotions are our greatest teachers
We need to feel our emotions, embrace them like a friend, then let them go. Our emotions are our greatest teachers. So we musn't run from suffering, we must dive into it and collect the rewards that it offers. We need to stop judging ourselves. External validation from others is nonsense.
An attachment is anything that you believe that without that thing, person, event or result you cannot be happy: It's a false belief and it's the cause of all your suffering. As Buddha said "All suffering is due to attachment" to people, places, events or things. We must also understand that the emotion is in you, not in reality. The feeling does not affect the essential 'I": The soul.
As Marcus Aurelius said "The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking... The Universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it... Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig... Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul." Simply step back into your Self.
As Viktor Frankl, the psychiatrist who's whole family died in the concentration camps, said "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way... Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom... Fear makes come true that which one is afraid of... When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves... Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue... What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him."
True tolerance only arises from a keen awareness of the abysmal ignorance of everyone who is asleep as far as Truth is concerned, for Truth is essentially undescribable: It's a feeling. The mind can only sense Truth, but cannot grasp it, and much less formulate it. Your thinking mind cannot make sense of it or put it into words. The heart knows and feels Truth.
Compare and contrast the two following feelings.
1. The very brief flash of excitement or pleasure that accompanies fulfilled attachment or validation but is associated with the anxiety of losing it or the tension of the apprehension of not getting it again, where deep down in your heart you know that even after you have got it you won't feel lasting joy. You are not satiated, so you become addicted to chasing the object of your affection and adoration. This is external validation addiction. This type of feeling comes from self-glorification and self-promotion: Its a 'worldly' feeling. You are controlled by these feelings, hungering for them, spending every minute of every day consciously or unconsciously seeking and chasing them. When you see this, you will understand how people attempt to gain the world, and in the process lose your soul. Those people live empty, soulless lives barricaded behind high walls and unloving homes, with security guards accompanying them when they leave their homes. What they are unaware of, controls them. They are slaves and feel emprisoned. Those people believe that their well of ignorance is the only well that there is. These people have taken the blue pill. Understanding is an art, and not everyone is an artist. These people feel dead inside as they are not truly alive, they are merely existing.
2. The feeling that you get when you look at a stunning panorama in nature or the sunrise - this satiates the soul and brings you into total presence. This type of feeling comes from Self-fulfilment, which is a soul feeling. You are not attempting to change your Self. You feel joy, love and peace. Your soul is satiated. As you observe your Self, without judgement, with clarity of thought, you will be flooded with the light of awareness. What you are aware of, you control. You feel free. This is the fountain of Truth. It's a courageous process of unlearnng the false programming of our illusory world. You have taken the red pill. You feel alive.
In Transformative Life Coaching (TLC) we will make your unconscious conscious and discover the true purpose of your soul. We will change your thinking from "What is the Universe doing to me" to "What is the Universe doing for me?" You are pure loving awareness. You are just not aware of it yet, but you will be. It's a great remembering of who you truly are. Ram Dass says "Am I sad? I am deeply sad. Am I happy? I have never been happier!" Suffering is a curriculum not a lion: It has no claws. Wayne Dyer said "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." There is space then for the light to get in.
Adyashanti wrote "All is well even when it seems unbelievably unwell." Everything is unfolding as it should. No matter what's going on in your life, or what appears to be going on in your life, believe me it's all for your ultimate good. All is well. All is well. All is perfectly well. Never forget that. Do not think about it. Do not try to analyse it. Just accept it in your heart. Louise Hay said “All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe!” Jennifer Lynch wrote "Joy is found in the breath of acceptance knowing that all is well in our world, if we surrender with Grace." Meditation is the bridge from your panic attacks and pain to peace.
You don't need the objects of your attachment at all. You simply need to lose your programming and false beliefs. As a result of understanding you can free your Self from this programming. As Louise Hay said "I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves."
So in summary, stop fixing your Self, all is well. You are truly OK. All that you seek is already within you. As Khalil Gibran wrote "You are far, far greater than you know - and all is well." I will remind you of who you truly are, and that all is very well, in fact it will be miraculous.
Sending you love, light, and blessings.
Please let me know if you would like to join my 'VOICE for men' group: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, and timeless truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears.
Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
My gift is to be your guide. Let me know if you would like to continue this conversation...
Email me: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk
“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford
My coaching themes and services - I work 1:1 and in groups with men who are looking for: Transformative Life Coaching, Transformational Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Recovery Coaching, Trauma Informed Coaching, Work Addiction Coaching, Workaholism Coaching, Addiction Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching.
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Hello,
I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching. I am here to serve you.
See you soon,
Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.