Vulnerability truly is a superpower. One of the most powerful things that you can do is to use your VOICE. You cannot hold back if you want to grow and evolve: If you grow and evolve you cannot be held back. Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) says in the iconic film ‘Fight Club’ about transformation “I don't want to die without any scars. Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart.”
I would say “Only when you are completely vulnerable and you have discarded the mask that you present to the world are you free to do anything.” In ‘Fight Club’ you have to take off your shirt. In 'VOICE for men', you only need to take off your mask. Mature men do express their emotions and that’s fine: In fact it's essential. Recovery is the bridge, VOICE is the island beyond. Our meetings are now weekly on Thursdays at 9pm.
To be vulnerable is to be visible. To be visible is to be indivisible within our psyche, and from each other. Your consciousness will rise, you will stop doubting your Self, and your fear will subside. Vulnerability is the key to infinite possibility, abundance, and real personal power. Now is the time to reclaim your Self. So this is a VIP club - Visibility Is Power: Yet, everyone can join. Email me for more information: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk
Are you ready for the journey from pain to peace and real personal power? If you feel crucified by the world, then it's time for your resurrection. It's time to find your VOICE.
The inaugural ‘VOICE for men’ (Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble) VIP (Visibility Is Power) meeting on Zoom was held on 1st February 2024. It is a powerful Self-creating space. The men who attended said that they had shared even more honestly, openly, willingly, and vulnerably than in their recovery rooms. They came alive. Opening the gate to your emotions and taking your mask off invites others to do thew same. It is a safe space to share totally freely. What you have been holding back is what you need to share. It encourages and invites others to do the same. Unlike 'Fight Club' we only have one rule: The only rule of VOICE club is that we are not here to fix each other: Because you are not broken! The miracle of transmuting fear into love and real personal power comes through vulnerability and Self-reflection. I am here to serve you, hold a powerful space for your transformation, and show the genuine compassion of possibility. It is who I am...
'VOICE for men' VIP community. Please let me know if you would like to join our 'VOICE for men' VIP community: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', 'Visibility Is Power', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with honesty and vulnerability. We are co-creating this space. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, awakening to Self-realisation, wisdom and timeless Truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears. Our meeting is free to join. There is no script, just sharing. Thank you very much to Selwyn, counsellor, for co-hosting.
Email me: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk
We are aching to be vulnerable. Our souls craves authenticity. A lot of us have never been in such conversations in our lives: Husbands and wives, friends, family, or colleagues.
Being vulnerable allows us to express, feel, and release emotions. It is through feeling that we grow, gain wisdom about how the world works, and how we see and remember the Truth of who we really are. Wisdom that comes from within is not so easily discarded or forgotten as wisdom from another. But we need to speak our own Truth out loud in order to hear it ourselves. We will start to believe in our Self in the same way that we believe in our Higher Power, because they are the same thing: They are indivisible. We hold back from sharing our emotions totally openly and vulnerably as so few people do (even in recovery groups) and as our ego wants to portray us other than how we truly are: With a mask. Our ego is afraid of being dissolved as a result of our Self-realisation. The closer we get to awakening, the more our ego fights and screams in order to try to survive. It's how you know that you are getting close to the real you.
Being vulnerable allows us to be seen, heard, valued, and accepted as we are: In other words to be unconditionally loved in a way that we may never have felt during our childhoods.
To be vulnerable is to be visible. To be visible is to be indivisible within our psyche, and from each other. Your consciousness will rise, you will stop doubting your Self, and your fear will subside. Vulnerability is the key to infinite possibility, abundance, and real personal power.
This is an expansive, forward facing movement, and we are going to elevate in this area. I am in service to you: For without this transcendence what is unconditional love? Once you have shared at the meeting, you will find all your relationships beginning to become more authentic. Vulnerability is essential to genuine connection. Don’t burn out: Burn brightly and then light the way for those who are following you.
The polymath, and most influential German writer in history, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, wrote “And to all this man is drawn by the power of his own soul, by the powers that are dimly sensed when he passes through the inner portals of the soul, when he seeks for that divine voice within calling him to the union of the ‘Eternal (Divine) Masculine’, - the Universe, with the ‘Eternal (Divine) Feminine’, - consciousness.”
Carl Gustav Jung wrote in his famous 'Red Book' “What about masculinity? Do you know how much femininity man lacks for completeness? Do you know how much masculinity woman lacks for completeness? You seek the feminine in women and the masculine in men. And thus there are always only men and women. But where are people? You, man, should not seek the feminine in women, but seek and recognise it in yourself, as you possess it from the beginning.” Carl Jung is undoubtedly one of the most important, exciting, and influential figures of the 20th century. Carl Jung was one of the most brilliant psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists in history, who founded analytical psychology, along with Sigmund Freud. Despite his poor and humble origins, he became the 'Nikola Tesla of psychology', and through his contributions, the entire field was re-imagined: But that was merely his day job. Just like I’m convinced that Einstein and Shakespeare were really spiritual Masters disguised as a scientist and a playwright respectively, Jung too was a spiritual Master, moonlighting as a psychologist. Their inner and outer purposes were aligned, and that was their Real Personal Power and brilliance.
Core to Jung’s psychology is his discovery that men have feminine souls, a contra-sexual inner organ that he termed “the anima.” In Jungian psychology, the individual retraction of projection of the anima onto women in media or in one’s life is core to healing and maturation. The goal is wholeness and psychological androgyny - an integration of the opposites. Jung said in the "Red Book' that “Humankind is masculine and feminine, not just man or woman. You can hardly say of your soul what sex it is. But if you pay close attention, you will see that the most masculine man has a feminine soul, and the most feminine woman as a masculine soul."
The concepts of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine are useful to introduce here:
The masculine listens to the Divine Feminine's intuitive wisdom with openness and vulnerability, and then acts on that wisdom with confidence. The acceptance of the Divine Masculine and Divine feminine in each of us is a 'brothers’ spiritual coming of age'. Most men block their feminine energy. It can take months and months of work before a man feels safe enough to just express an authentic emotion in normal recovery rooms. This week we saw the power of total vulnerability coaching in one session at our first 'VOICE for men' meeting. Men have also been suffocating beneath the bonds placed on their very existence as emotive, nurturing beings. The patriarchy causes men to suffer too by burying our emotions alive: Emotions always bubble up. I know: I buried mine for four decades due to my own childhood trauma. Men need to stop feeling the need to suffer in silence. These injustices neither negate or belittle each gender’s pain. It's wounding at a species-deep level. The time of balance has begun, with all genders beginning to feel the pain and seeking to ease it collectively, thereby healing the collective wounds and rupture that it has caused through the conditioned asleep mind. Men have also been suffocating beneath the bonds placed on their very existence as emotive, nurturing beings. Compassion requires understanding and Truth, not projected narratives. For this we need to listen, to be open, and to be vulnerable.
As the Swahili proverb says "Unity is strength, division is weakness." We are visible and indivisible. As an ensemble we empower each other. The solution to healing is authentic vulnerable connection. This ensemble will give us the soil from which all our relationships will grow and harmonise. We will find our real personal power
The Divine Feminine in all of us is what allows us to "BE." It is "powerful, loving, and caring," and allows Faith, vulnerability, presence, trusting deep inner knowing, wisdom, and higher intuition. Without vulnerability, you cannot Self-realise to your full potential - you are only half a person, or even worse, just an ego, which has extremely limited personal power. You know the egocentric colleague: If his mind is rooted in fear, ego, competition and separation, he will not become whole within, and hence never reach the level of consciousness necessary to build and create his 'empire'. A man, rooted solely in competition, will never create but rather take away from others, making all others suffer, and hence ultimately making himself suffer. Nothing will ever be enough. He will be insatiable. He thrives to have more and more. But his fears limit his possibility. Notice that his desires are purely external factors, e.g. more money, more fame, more attention. Men who suppress their Divine Feminine energies are crippled in their ability to become whole, cannot truly live a life of abundance and are unable to build their 'empire' together with their colleagues or their Divine Feminine partner.
The unawakened man has not learned (yet) to do the inner work, to get into his heart space and feel the unconditional love that he is and receives. A man, embracing both of his divine energies, is infinitely more powerful than he who is pushing through life with total unconsciousness. And yet, once awakened, this man knows who he is, he has clarity on how life really works, he never feels superior, and he embodies humility as he knows that he has unique talents and gifts that must be shared: He never gets back into the 'competition mode of playground politics' as a terrified 7-year-old ego with a broken conker.
I felt such compassion for a little boy yesterday in the supermarket as his mother screamed at him repeatedly "Stop crying! You need to express yourself clearly, NOT cry!" The boy looked about 2 or 3 years old. Hmmmmm.
The Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine in each of us. It is only in balance, harmony, and combination that we become whole and truly powerful
Together as a couple, the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine in you and your relationships are able to manifest instantly what it is that they want. It is all but a matter of surrendering to the Universal flow, obeying the Universal Natural laws, setting intentions, taking inspired action, and detaching from any specific outcome. This is how to achieve limitless possibility and abundance. Remember that the Universe is providing you with everything you want to create. Faith and trust in the Universal creation powers is necessary to live in abundance and to always be taken care of. The Universe is abundant and will always provide you with abundance if you are open to receiving it. A man's greatest gift is his vulnerability and he stands strong, firm and fully open-hearted. The ego is the expression of insecurities, subconscious behavioural patterns, trigger points from past experiences and the need to be right. Whilst the ego can be beneficial for the Self, such as self-protection, it is rather destructive when let off the chain: At home, at work, and with friends. It is only when we drop our fears and shame, and find our real personal power, while stepping out of creating conflict and drama with the world and those that we love.
The Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine concepts are not at all 'woowoo' or 'New Age': In Jungian psychology, which has much to teach humanity, the goal of the individuation process (spiritual journey and psychological transformation) is the true Self or the soul. These concepts are relevant to a personal and collective awakening. I am a scientist, a doctor, and have a basic science PhD, and have written over 50 published peer reviewed scientific articles and a number of books. But I have learned, despite my many degrees, that true wisdom does not come from books, higher degrees or research articles, and there is no PhD to your life. I am very much at ease with my vulnerability: Indeed it's my superpower. I am ready to serve you: I have had over 200 hours of coaching, read over 250 books on personal transformation, philosophy, and positive psychology, I practise twice daily meditation and daily yoga, I have had an awakening of my true Self, have had over 300 hours of therapy, months of trauma therapy, and I have both run and attended many hundreds of fellowship meetings, where the emphasis is on transforming you from being governed by self-centred and self-limiting fear, to Self-Realisation, honesty, openness, willingness, and above all vulnerability. This will be your strength. Click here for my article all about vulnerability and why it's essential to the journey of recovering your Self and connecting with others:
The final line, thus the climax, of Goethe’s Faust is “The Eternal Feminine draws us above". It draws us from our ego into our higher Self, the divine in us, which Carl Jung firmly advocated. Looking within is where you will find Truth and real personal power. The Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine do draw from psychology, and I can feel their truth and how they help us to understand how we can transform in relation to ourselves and each other. Truth is Truth and your Truth in relation to you it is the absolute Truth. These concepts have the potential to bring you so much joy, peace, abundance, success, love, and balance.
I am you. This is why I am allowing myself to be vulnerable in this article. So that you may do the same. Brené Brown wrote "Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage... Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.” She concludes “If you own this story you get to write the ending.” When others tell your 'story' it's just make-believe and projection.
Are you ready for the journey from pain to peace and real personal power? If you feel crucified by the world, then it's time for your resurrection. It's time to find your VOICE...
There is duality to the Universe: We find it everywhere: Yin & Yang, Masculine & Feminine. Power and vulnerability: Two facets of one essential diamond. One cannot survive without the other
Men should ensure self-care and spiritual wellbeing, ensuring time for stillness and silence, yoga and meditation, being grounded to nature, the Earth, their body, and their inner strength: With mental clarity comes intuition and decisiveness.
Vulnerability is the key to your evolution from your fearful wounded inner child to your powerful Higher Self
'VOICE for men' is in service of you, and provides a unique space for openness, compassion, and emotional expression. VOICE for men is 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble'. It takes strength and courage to be yourself, as a mature man, especially in today’s world. When masculinity encompasses gentle, quiet strength and a willingness to put in the work to be a better person every single day, well, that’s just magnetising all around. As we each seek to heal our own inner wounds and traumas and better incorporate a balance of these energies, we can each step more fully into our own real personal power, living lives led with love and spreading that love outward like a healing wave to all those around us, and manifesting true abundance through who we are BEing. We are having topic meetings, which we vote on: They are all aspects of the human condition and experience. You may share about the topic, or whatever is coming up for you. Watch this space for more meetings (which are now weekly), workshops, and retreats...
Email me: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk
Testimonials after the inaugural meeting:
"Hi Olly, This group is definitely a very important need for many men. Getting to know some of everyone's backgrounds, fears, perceived character defects and dreams was mind-blowing. I feel at home here in this safe space. Fight club without the punches! Thank you!" NK, London
"Hi Olly. A great summary reflection. I learnt a lot about the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine from your article and am humbled to be part of what VOICE stands for. It is really helping me in my search to move from ego to presence. Looking forward to the next Zoom meeting! Thank you!" PH, London
"Hi Olly, Thank you for inviting me to that powerful event. I haven't been in a men's group since uni! I have a strong feeling that your group is going to expand!" JP, London
"Hi Olly, Yes! It was such a freeing experience and I related to something in everyone's sharing which was really interesting. Thank you all for such a powerful space." DM, London
"Hi Olly, Thank you all for the meeting, it was wonderful seeing everyone and connecting." FH, Aberdeen
"Hi Olly, I am certainly looking forward to the next meeting!" LI, Ireland
"Hi Olly, You are so brilliant and wonderful. Blessed be your divine creation and community! Thank you so much!" SJ, USA
"Hi Olly, It's a brilliant idea, much needed for so many men. Awesome meeting. Good night bro!" VP, London
"Hi Olly, Loved the second meeting even more than the first! And that's saying something. I can't believe how it's doubled in size in one week. Keep going man, it's gold!" KP, London
"Hi Olly, This meeting is so awesome and so needed. May I bring all my male friends? We all need it!" HR, Gibraltar
"Hi Olly, Thank you so much for tonight. Thank you for hosting all of us - it was such an amazing safe space to express myself." JA, London
"Hi Olly, Thank you for creating a safe space for vulnerability." PJ, London
"Hi Olly, Wow! What a meeting. Thank you for the listening, the meditation, and the silence inviting me to be vulnerable." DE, Canada
My gift is to be your guide on your very own 'Hero's Journey'...
“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford
My coaching themes and services: Transformative Life Coaching, Transformational Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Recovery Coaching, Trauma Informed Coaching, Work Addiction Coaching, Workaholism Coaching, Addiction Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching.
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Suggested Reading
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Hello,
I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching.
See you soon,
Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.