The Solution To All of Your Problems is Spirituality. Trust Me: I Have Tried Everything Else. 'Achievement', Accolades, Approval, Validation and Other External Measures Just Don't Work. They All Eventually Turn to Dust, Despite Your Massive Efforts. Many People Are Put Off as They Believe That Spirituality is the Same as Religion: It Really Isn't. Let me Explain...
What is Spirituality?
I was an atheist, at the start of my Transformative Journey four years ago. Now I realise how arrogant that was, despite being a scientist and a doctor. Spirituality is science that has not caught up yet. As Albert Einstein, the greatest scientist of all time, wrote "I do not share the crusading spirit of the professional atheist whose fervour is mostly due to a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination received in youth. I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own BEing... My 'religion' consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind." If it's good enough for Einstein...
What is spirituality?
The definition of spirituality
Spirituality is looking within one's Self. That's it. It's the journey from the overactive mind (the ego) into the open heart (the integrated, courageous, authentic, vulnerable, Higher Self).
As Galileo Galilei wrote "You can ’t teach anybody anything, only make them realise the answers are already inside them.” Your heart tells you everything that you need to know. It speaks Truth, through feeling joy, peace and love.
Lisa S. wrote that "Spirituality is the awareness that survival is a savage fight between you and yourself."
Friedrich Nietzsche, the philosopher and one of the greatest minds of our time, wrote "No one can construct for you the bridge upon which precisely you must cross the stream of life, no one but you yourself alone." Mahatma Gandhi said "As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world, as in being able to remake ourselves." You must take the Hero's Journey into your soul. So, where do we start? We need a guide: An Enlightened Witness.
As Marianne Williamson says in her book 'Tears to Triumph' "Everyone is on a spiritual journey: Most people just don’t know it." She continued “Spirituality isn't some quaint stepchild of an intelligent worldview, or the only option for those of us not smart enough to understand the facts of the real world. Spirituality reflects the most sophisticated mindset, and the most powerful force available for the transformation of human suffering.”
Spirituality is the most powerful yet painful Journey that you will ever take: But also the most worthwhile. Spirituality's aim is the process of re-formation, which 'Aims to recover the original shape of man.' It is concerned with the deepest values and meanings by which people live. It is the source of all your Superpowers.
The term spirit means "Animating or vital principle in human beings." It is derived from the Old French espirit, which comes from the Latin word spiritus (soul, courage, and vigour) and is related to spirare (to breathe). The reason that there is no agreed consensus on what it is, is that it is such a personal experience, and it is a Truth, a knowing, that is felt and not possible to put it into words. There are only two things we must do in life for wellbeing: Breathe and feel.
The academic author Brené Brown says; "Spirituality is recognising and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives."
In Luke 17:20–21, Jesus said, “The Kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the Kingdom of God is within YOU”. Carl Gustav Jung, psychiatrist, psychologist, philosopher and spiritual Master, put it beautifully and succinctly "Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." Looking inside is the path to Enlightenment and the cure for despair. For my free ebook on Enlightenment click here:
Spirituality involves the deepest core values by which people live. This is something that we explore at the beginning of our Transformative Life Coaching (TLC) sessions.
Spirituality is the description of the personal growth and transformation that will change your life more powerfully than any 'leadership' workshops; management training, 'masterclasses' or 'life-hacks', which actually hack away at your Real Personal Power. These limit you because they extol the virtues of the ego, which truly restricts you to lower levels of BEing and achievement that do not bring joy. The ego is your terrified 7-year old that is unconsciously running your life. Spirituality is when the adult, assertive, highest version of you wakes up and takes over.
Kamand Kojouri wrote; “We seek the fire of the spark that is already within us.” When you live from your soul, you feel a relentless surge of energy, that replaces the pressure of being driven by external validation from our parents, the world and our invented 'Gods'.
Spirituality is in a context separate from organised religious institutions. These are man-made and come from the ego. Spirituality can be defined generally as an individual's search for ultimate or sacred meaning, and purpose in life. It draws upon, and makes sense of, our 'inner life', of who we truly are. The ego is who we think we are. The soul is who we really are.
We struggle to believe in what we cannot see. There is power in accepting not knowing. "Leap and the net will appear" is often stated. Without leaping, we are condemned to more of the same: Emptiness, despair, feeling 'dead' inside, feeling disconnected from home, and seeking answers outside of ourselves in the form of 'Imitation love,' which is incapable of satiating the soul.
Spirituality has become increasingly associated with philosophy, positive psychology and timeless Truths: This is the basis of Transformative Life Coaching (TLC).
Spirituality is the short but life-long journey from the overactive mind to the heart. As Carl Jung said "Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart... The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are... People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls."
The Hindu Sage Ramana Maharshi said “Your own Self-realisation is the greatest service you can render the world.” How do we change the world? Khalil Gibran, philosopher, poet, and author, asks in 'The Prophet' "Is not civilisation, in all its tragic forms, a supreme motive for spiritual awakening?"
Eckhart Tolle wrote in 'The Power of Now, A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment' "Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness."
Spirituality, according to Anthony De Mello, priest, psychotherapist, spiritual teacher, and writer, (in his book 'Awareness') simply means; "'All is well', awareness, waking up, and finding your Self." Rumi wrote “What matters is how quickly you do what your soul directs.” What are you waiting for?
The similarities between spirituality and religion
Both spirituality and established religion involve believing in a realm beyond the ordinary world: A quest for an ultimate meaning. Both request one to 'trust in the process': As Einstein wrote "God does not play dice... Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous." Carl Jung described these experiences as synchronicities, jointly winning a Nobel Prize in the process..
The similarity ends here in that religion reflects the nature and dysfunctional state of our world: Religion represents judgement and a feeling that one must act in a certain way to be approved of. Religion was invented by asleep people, not awoken souls. This is the cause of all despair: The pain that one feels when one does not follow one's soul's calling.
God is another word for love or the unseen power, consciousness and intelligence of the Universe. God is a man-made word to describe something that can't be described but that one can feel. If you don't like the word God, then just use another word. Humans only ever have one problem: A disconnection from God. This causes us to forget who we truly are. Unless you are plugged in to the power of the Universe, you are not shining.
The difference between spirituality and religion
The difference referred to in the last paragraph above is precisely reflected in the fascinating and enlightening conversation between Dr Josef Breuer (one of the founding fathers of psychoanalysis) and the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche in the book 'When Nietzsche Wept' by Irvin Yalom.
In the book Nietzsche is trying to cure Dr Breuer of despair (the 'disease of the soul') using a philosophical approach, which discovers and describes the foundation of psychoanalysis. A philosopher curing a doctor. Dr Breuer says "I think morbid, dark things. Often I feel as though my life has crested. I have climbed to the peak. And when I peek over the edge to view what lies ahead I see only deterioration. I see: 'Not ascending.'" Nietzsche replies "Why can't you continue to ascend? Tell me about 'not ascending.'" Dr Breuer replies "Sometimes I imagine that everyone has... a deep motif that becomes the central myth of one's life. When I was a child someone once called me 'The lad of infinite promise'. I loved that phrase. I've hummed it to myself thousands of times. I've imagined myself as a tenor singing it at a high pitch." Nietzsche asks "And what has happened to that lad of infinite promise?" Dr Breuer replies "Ah, that question! I ponder it often. What has become of him? I know now that there is no more promise: It's been used up." Nietzsche asks "Tell me precisely, what do you mean by promise?" Dr Breuer says "I am not sure I know. I used to think I did. It meant the potential to climb, to spiral upwards: It meant success. Acclaim. Scientific discoveries. But I have tasted the fruit of these promises. I am a respected physician; a respectable citizen. I have made some important scientific discoveries." Nietzsche asks "Then Josef, are you not a fortunate man? Have you not fulfilled your promise?" Dr Breuer replied "Fulfilment of goals, yes. But without satisfaction. At first the flush of a new success lasted for months. But gradually it has grown more fleeting. Now the feeling evaporates so quickly that it no longer even penetrates my skin. I now believe that my goals were imposters. They were never the true destiny of the 'lad of infinite promise'. Often I feel disoriented. The old goals don't work any more. When I think of the flow of my life I feel betrayed, or tricked. As though a celestial joke has been played on me. As though I have danced my life away to the wrong tune." Nietzsche replies "It was the right tune Josef, but the wrong dance. You interpreted the words promise and infinite incorrectly." Dr Breuer "I don't understand." Nietzsche says "Perhaps you should learn to speak more clearly to your Self. I have realised that the philosophic cure (to despair) consists of learning to listen to your own inner voice. Could you try to 'chimney sweep' (share your thoughts) about the lad of infinite promise?" I discuss this in my article 'The Wrong Tower Phenomenon'. Nietzsche says “One can never really be helped by another. One can must find the strength to help one’s Self.”
Nietzsche said “One can never really be helped by another. One can must find the strength to help one’s self.”
Dr Breuer said to Sigmund Freud in the book “Liberate that hidden consciousness - to allow him to ask for help in the daylight.” Freud replied “Is integration what we are after?” Breuer said “Integration of the unconscious. That’s it! If my patient could integrate this other part of himself. That would be a real achievement. If he learn how natural it was to crave the comfort from another. Surely that would be enough.”
Nietzsche says to Dr Breuer "If you have not attained your Self then duty is merely a euphemism for your own further enlargement (of the ego)."
Dr Breuer said to Sigmund Freud, his student, "It's important not to let your life live you. Otherwise you end up at 40 feeling that you haven't really lived your life. What have I learned? Perhaps to live now. So that at fifty I won't look back upon my forties with regret. We must live as though we were free. We must love our fate. You have a burden. The richer the soil, the more unforgivable the failure to cultivate it."
You have the capacity at any moment to set your Self free from the pain that was given to you when you were young. It was nothing to do with you. Then you can take your place in the Universe as a true agent of transformation. You can become the breath of God/love/energy. You will create the Universe anew.
All those of you who have hurt me I see the separateness of your actions from your true soul. I touch it with my love. I understand how difficult it must be for you to live in a personality that creates suffering for others. You feel trapped. I bless your soul and that it may find its way to light. Be gentle with your self and others. You just need to remember your part in the divine dance. You were not created to hurt your Self through hurting others. You are eager to give up your suffering. It’s your choice. It’s just your fear telling you that it’s not. Fear is a liar. Only you can set your self free. Choose 'Heaven' not your own personal 'Hell'. You are strong enough. You just need to believe it. Rumi said "The inspiration you seek is within you. Be silent and listen."
The difference between religion and spirituality is that religion is the right tune, but the wrong dance: We live our lives for the approval of others, our parents, and for false 'Gods', all of whom judge our worth based on external measures of worth. Spirituality is where we feel intrinsically worthy because of who we are, not who we become. It is our BEing that is our value. We have forgotten who we are. Spirituality is a 'great remembering.' It's waking up to the Truth of who we are. So, spirituality is an individual intimate journey with a Higher Power (our Highest Self) that satisfies one's souls's calling to its purpose. Religion, being created by man, reflects the way that our society operates and involves judgement. So we feel constrained to behave and achieve in a certain way in order to be approved of. We do not follow our soul's calling. Despair ensues: This pain is intolerable. I know that pain. I have been where you are. This is the basis of self-sabotage: When we act in a way to redirect our course to the path of our soul. It's actually the part of us that loves us the most that redirects us to remember who we are. Rumi, the scholar, poet, and theologian, wrote "I looked in temples churches and mosques. But I found the divine within my heart."
So don ’t be put off by what you may have thought that a spiritual approach was the same as a religious approach. Buddha said on his road to awakening "I shall no longer be instructed by the Yoga Veda or the Aharva Veda, or the ascetics, or any other doctrine whatsoever. I shall learn from myself, be a pupil of myself; I shall get to know myself, the mystery of Siddhartha." He looked around as if he were seeing the world for the first time” (Hermann Hesse).
Spirituality and religion are often used interchangeably, but the two concepts are so very different. Spirituality involves a personal quest inside one's Self, for meaning, purpose and empowerment in life, while religion involves a dogmatic man-made organised entity with rituals and practices focusing on belief in a usually punishing judgemental God. I meditated on what an all powerful God would be like, and they would be forgiving and full of light, love and compassion. I don't believe they would be like a grumpy judgemental, headmaster. What are your thoughts on this?
Why are spiritual Truths universal and timeless? Scientists may bend the rules of physics, but no-one can mess with the laws of Nature or Karma, and I am a scientist, with a medical degree, a PhD, and a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Cambridge.
We find in the 'Bhagavad Gita', which the best known and most famous of Hindu texts, a 700 verse scripture dated to the second half of the first millennium before Christ:“You are what you believe in. You become that which you believe you can become." “Everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality” (Robin Sharma).
Danah Zohar, management thought leader, physicist, philosopher and author said “Most transformation programs satisfy themselves with shifting the same old furniture about in the same old room. But real transformation requires that we redesign the room itself. Perhaps even blow up the old room. It requires that we change the thinking behind our thinking.” This is why Transformational Life Coaching (TLC) is also known as 'Deep Coaching' or "Super-coaching.'
The Buddha said “Don ’t even believe me. Make your own Truth. Don ’t become a believer, become a seeker… We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”
"The Universe and the light of the stars come through me ” (Rumi). Deepak Chopra, author, says in his book 'The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success' “The source of all creation is pure consciousness... Pure potentiality seeking expression from the unmanifest to the manifest. And when we realise that our true Self is one of pure potentiality, we align with the power that manifests everything in nature.”
Spirituality breaks free from the restrictions and rigid structure sometimes associated with traditional religion. The spiritual aspirant recognises that he or she is on a “Pathless path” of Self-discovery. They are following not a set of external rules, but their own inner call to spirit. In this way, spirituality can sometimes feel like a rebellious act of going solo and leaving the tribe, very much in the spirit of American philosopher and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson when he said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Brené Brown wrote “I’ll leave you with this. There will be times when standing alone feels too hard, too scary, and we’ll doubt our ability to make our way through the uncertainty. Someone, somewhere, will say, “Don’t do it. You don’t have what it takes to survive the wilderness.” This is when you reach deep into your wild heart and remind yourself, “I am the wilderness.” To my father: Thank you for insisting that I always speak up and take a stand - even when you passionately disagree.”
Due to their centuries- to millennia-old histories, religions are by nature often deeply rooted in tradition, ritual, creed, and doctrine. Religious institutions conservatively guard their practices and values, holding rigidly to the past and the original interpretations of the founder’s teachings. They are man-made. This is understandable in that all religions wish to preserve the essence of their teachings so they may be accurately transmitted through history. They reflect more the inner critic, the voice of our parents when they only gave us conditional love. A supreme being would love us unconditionally.
Spirituality by comparison is often less focused on the rigidly traditional approach and often favours an evolutionary mentality. This refers to both a more flexible and adaptive mindset toward core teachings of the great wisdom traditions but also reflects the understanding that, as the name implies, spiritual growth is an evolutionary process. Spirituality embraces change and the evolution of expanded consciousness. With spiritual practice, ideas and interpretations change as individuals, societies, and the world move forward.
At its core, religion is about Faith. That is to say, belief in something based upon unconditional acceptance of the religion’s teachings. Unlike the scientific worldview, religions don’t require evidence to validate their claims. Through religion, you are taught to have Faith in God or the scriptures as being the infallible and ultimate Truth of reality. Acceptance and surrender to the divine are taught as the path that leads to ultimate salvation. Spirituality doesn’t dismiss Faith; however, it often leans more heavily on direct experience of the soul or divinity. Spiritual practices such as meditation, yoga, silence, and contemplation allow you to make conscious contact with more expanded states of consciousness, thus helping to experientially validate the teachings rather than accepting them on Faith alone: You know something because you have tasted the experience yourself and have allowed it to resonate, as opposed to taking the word of another.
Despite the best of intentions, religions can sometimes contain a subtle (or not so subtle) undercurrent of fear woven into their teachings. The concepts of original sin, divine judgement, God’s wrath, or eternal punishment can create a mental environment burdened in worry and anxiety over your worthiness and whether your actions will result in divine retribution or Karmic punishment. Your fate in the 'afterlife' can loom like a spectre in the back of your mind, subtly influencing your thoughts and behaviour.
Spirituality by contrast, typically discards the vestiges of fear and worry in favour of a more loving, compassionate approach to life - and death. Spirituality embraces a consciousness-based worldview that supports all human beings on their path to awakening in unconditional love and kindness. Your choices and behaviour are guided not by fear of punishment, but rather by a desire to end suffering and create a peaceful and loving world for all. Heaven and Hell only exist in our minds: It's our choice in this life which of the two we decide to live in.
It is entirely possible to be a very religious person yet be totally out of touch with spirituality and its essential connection to an authentic Self. On the other hand, true spirituality unites a person with his or her authentic Self.
Religion that teaches or encourages judgment of Self and other is often very disturbing to the psyche, as indicated in the above 'discussion' between Nietzsche and Dr Breuer. Spirituality, on the other hand, would encourage compassion for self and others. Judgement of self not only diminishes self-esteem and a sense of wellbeing, but it also often causes us to repress aspects of self that we might deem to be unworthy of approval, creating our 'shadow self'.
Religion teaches us that we must rely completely on external advice - as opposed to listening to the urging of one’s own soul. Religion may be destructive to mental health. Certainly, external advice can be useful, but only in the case in which the person receiving that advice authentically agrees with that advice. Certainly, sacred texts are useful, but the interpretations of those texts should be processed through the mind, heart, and soul of each individual, rather than set down as final truth by an external authority. All of these texts are edited. Jesus was a historical figure, and was a being of pure love. He was the most influential and powerful human being of the last 2000 years.
When an external authority, be it a book, a person, or a religion, has final control over everything we do, say, and think, it is impossible for us to find and begin to live out of our own truest, deepest souls. We live oppressed by the external authority - this is definitely not good for mental health. It is the same as if a government came in and told us how to think, feel, believe, and act. The external authority, such as communism or fascism, has final and absolute control. Where, then, are our original thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions? Rather we must learn to find our own internal authority and come to trust its guidance: That is true spirituality.
Spirituality allows a person to come to terms with life on life’s terms. It allows one to process through difficult experiences and become stronger and wiser because one remains conscious as one walks through the experience. Spirituality allows one to develop healthy self-esteem and to respect and appreciate the journey of others. Spirituality encourages one to walk through the deep recesses of the heart and soul and come to know one’s Self. Spirituality enhances the quality of life of the individual.
How do you know that you are making spiritual progress?
You will know when you find peace, and stop leaving your 'seat of ease', as Michael Singer describes' the resting place of your soul. You start to 'rest in awareness' as Ram Dass, the Harvard psychologist turned spiritual guru, said.
Emmet Fox, the author of the book 'The Sermon on the Mount', wrote “As you grow in true spiritual power and understanding you will actually find that many outer rules and regulations will become unnecessary; but this will be because you have really risen above them; never, never, because you have fallen below them. This point in your development, where your understanding of Truth enables you to dispense with certain outer props and regulations, is the Spiritual Coming of Age. When you really are no longer spiritually a minor, you will cease to need some of the outer observances that formerly seemed indispensable; but your resulting life will be purer, truer, freer, and less selfish than it was before; and that is the test.”
Why do we search for a 'God'?
We don't believe in ourselves, as no-one has shown us that we may. Therefore we seek solace outside ourselves. We believe that a 'God' or that a 'Superman' will save us. Yet, Mahatma Gandhi, lawyer, leader, and political ethicist said; "God has no religion."
Even God is a creation of the human mind. “Man made God in his own image ” (Eckhart Tolle). Anandamayi Ma, Indian Saint and yoga guru, wrote “The light of the self is present everywhere and in all. Whether you worship Christ, Krishna, Kali, or Allah, you actually worship the one light that is also in you.”
Remember, Buddha was not a Buddhist, Jesus was not a Christian, Muhammad was not a Muslim. They were teachers who taught love and compassion: This was their religion. Let’s find the teacher in YOUR SELF.
Sending you love, light, and blessings.
Please let me know if you would like to join my 'VOICE for men' group: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, and timeless truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears.
Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
My gift is to be your guide. Let me know if you would like to continue this conversation...
Email me: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk
“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford
My coaching themes and services - I work 1:1 and in groups with men who are looking for: Transformative Life Coaching, Transformational Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Recovery Coaching, Trauma Informed Coaching, Work Addiction Coaching, Workaholism Coaching, Addiction Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching.
Click here to read all my articles:
Suggested reading
Click here for the books that I know will help you along your journey of recovering your Self:
Hello,
I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching. I am here to serve you.
See you soon,
Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
Click here for my glossary:
Click here for my website:
Click me to contact me:
Click here for my free eBook all about Enlightenment:
Click here for my LinkedIn profile:
Click here for my Medium articles:
I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.