The whole purpose of one’s life is Self-realisation. But what is Self-realisation and how do you achieve it? God’s purpose (I use the term ‘God’ as an abbreviation for the spiritual term of the creative Universal intelligence that runs the show) is to help everyone to undergo Self-realisation.
I see our primary role, then, as Self-realisation, and our secondary role as supporting God to help others to Self-realise. In an emergency, you put on your oxygen mask first, so that you can remain conscious and guide others to doing the same. We are God's soldiers, not his generals. These primary and secondary roles are really a continuum, as by Self-realising, we directly guide others to Self-realisation as a result of who we are BEing.
I would like to make the process of Self-realisation available to everyone. In part that means to simplify and bring clarity to what has been seen as a complex (although not easy) process with profound principles, accessible to only the initiated few ascetics after prolonged trips to the far East.
In reality, self-realisation is for everyone who can feel the awe and wonder of Nature. Waking up is a daily choice. It's time to invoke your 'God mode'. “To BE or not to BE": That is the answer. Shall we dive in?..
Self-realisation: What is it?
What is Self-realisation?
Self-realisation is a term used in Western psychology (psycho-analysis and humanistic psychology), philosophy, in spirituality, in Eastern wisdom, and in Transformative Life Coaching (TLC), which is a seamless blend of all these disciplines and it's why I love it so much. It's also why TLC is so powerful in creating change and miracles.
In the Western secular understanding, it is the "Fulfilment of our potential." However, according to Eastern spirituality, Self-realisation is the knowledge and embodiment of our True Nature or the Higher Self beyond the ego.
As Thomas Leroy said in 'Black Swan' "The only person standing in your way is you."
Self-realisation also means peeling away fabricated layers of one's own personality to understand the True Self and hence the True Nature of reality.
Carl Gustav Jung (the Swiss founding father of analytic psychology, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, philosopher, spiritual guide, author, all-round genius, and who coined so many concepts including the shadow, archetypes, projection, and denial) developed the notion of 'individuation': This is the lifelong process in which the centre of psychological life shifts from the ego (the false self) to the Self (the True Self).
Self-realisation is one of the major pre-requisites to attain ultimate Enlightenment.
The West promotes the realisation of the self’s (ego’s) fullest potential, which is actually only level 3 of Hagberg’s real personal power scale. And the East promotes the realisation of the Self – that is, liberation from the small fabricated self (ego), and the embodiment of one’s Higher Self or True Nature: This is the path of Enlightenment. This is the top level 6 of Hagberg’s real personal power scale. No wonder then that in the West we are all going insane: We are 'King Babies' run riot. When was the last time you had a boss that was not full of ego?
Self-actualisation
Self-realisation is sometimes used interchangeably with self-actualisation. But I see them as quite different. The term is used in both Western Psychology and Eastern traditions.
In Western Psychology, it is the outcome of what Carl Gustav Jung called the 'individuation process', which is the process of integrating one’s total personality (inner child, higher Self, and shadow). Another psychoanalyst Roberto Assagioli who founded the psychological movement, Psychosynthesis, also used the term. Both Jung’s and Assagioli’s work I see as ranging from the upper part of the personal category to the lower part of the transpersonal category.
In Eastern traditions, Self-realisation is much more all-encompassing and refers to realisation of Self with an uppercase 'S'. So, here we are talking full-on liberation (Enlightenment, awakening, and freedom).
Enlightenment and awakening
Enlightenment is a more traditional term and, for me, is about transcending the limited human ego and ending all forms of mental and emotional suffering. Stepping off the wheel of birth, life, and death. Reaching Nirvana. It has a sense of finality.
Awakening is a better term the Enlightenment. It has more of a sense of being a process. Awakening is being fully awake and alive to whatever is occurring in the here and now. It is total honesty and intimacy with life as it is. It is seeing and accepting of this moment - just as it is. It is an ongoing moment to moment process.
Self-improvement
Okay so what about self-improvement? Where does that fit in? It is often said about self-improvement that it is moving the furniture around, rather than moving up to the next floor. Moving furniture around the Titanic would not have prevented it from sinking. So, by this view, you can self improve or become a better version of yourself without developing/growing. For example, you could learn a new language or musical instrument or become a kinder person - without actually developing.
What are the key elements to Self-realisation, awakening, Enlightenment, and freedom? I have listed 100 that I have found to be essential on my own journey:
1. Respond, never react. Lean away; take time if necessary; find the answer in meditation and deep presence. You are not here to please anyone.
2. Increase your conscious contact with God through prayer and meditation (focus on your breath).
3. Spend time in Nature. Feel the awe, wonder, bliss, and power of the Universe and see its beauty.
4. Realise that you are powerless when you come from ego. Deflate your ego daily. Realise that only a power greater than your self can restore you to sanity. As Albert Einstein wrote "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
5. Remember who you truly are: Your higher Self: You might need reminding daily. That's what I am here for.
6. Interpersonal relationships may help us to awaken.
7. Choose to be your higher Self in every moment.
9. Be present at all times.
10. Feel your emotions, then let them go.
11. Let go of toxic shame.
12. You can feel pain, but don’t let it cause suffering.
13. Switch from ego (false self) to higher Self (higher power) in every moment.
14. Fear is overcome by action.
15. Heal your childhood traumas (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing EMDR) and yoga). Realise that there is no invisible lion.
19. Self-care: Regular sleep routines; Eat healthily; Listen to your body (when you are tired, rest); Aerobic exercise such as running, preferably in Nature; Minimise or abstain from alcohol, refined, sugar, caffeine, nicotine, and other drugs.
20. Creativity connects you to your higher Self.
21. Realise that everything is an illusion (see 'The Matrix' 'Bullet stopping scene below). As Pierre Teilhard de Chardin wrote “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” When we move from ego to our higher self we literally perceive the world through new eyes and it looks different. It looks real at last. We have come home and awoken from the nightmare.
22. Have Faith in your Self and God: When you have 100% Faith you have no fear. The converse is also true: when you don't have Faith you are full of fear. Fear and Faith don't live in the same psyche.
23. Realise that God doesn’t play dice: Nothing happens by chance. It’s all part of the plan to steer you like a rudder to Self-realisation and Enlightenment. Trust the process.
24. Nature knows what she is doing. Give her time and get out of your own way.
25. Drop out of your (monkey) mind and reptilian survival brain. The mind stands in the way of a clear view of God. Our mind gives us clouded perceptions. Our heart is clear.
28. Align your whole life to Self-realisation.
29. Make all decisions from intuition in meditation. It’s experiential. You have to try it to believe. Your courage will be rewarded through Grace.
30. Our Karma is our mind.
31. Be aware of your subconscious compulsions. In TLC we dive straight below the surface of the iceberg.
32. Drop your resentments. Ask yourself what deepest fears of yours led to them, feel your pain and their pain and then forgive your Self and others.
33. Serve others in their awakening.
34. Let go of the expectations of others.
35. Don’t care what others think of you.
36. Work out what is really important. Realise you have it already. Give gratitude. What society tells you is important is simply their collective subconscious trauma.
37. Realise how far you have come. Congratulate your Self, but always be humble.
38. Realise that the past could not have been different.
39. Drop any negative self talk. Replace it with thoughts of unconditional love.
40. Forgive your Self. How can a 7-year-old sin?
41. Love your Self: Be your best friend. Reparent your inner child. Love your inner child and speak to them during meditation, and when looking in their eyes in the mirror, every day.
42. Don’t judge your Self.
43. Don’t be so hard on your Self.
44. Love unconditionally.
45. What you think about you create.
46. Let your inner child play, supervised at all times
48. Realise that you have amazing skills.
49. Remember your innocence.
50. Realise that life is the journey not the destination.
51. Release all limiting beliefs (fears).
52. Choose your thoughts at any time: Let go of thoughts that are not of love/God.
53. Disidentify from the ego. Re-identify with your higher Self.
54. Be open to abundance and receiving.
55. To change your life you need to change your self.
56. Embrace compassion.
58. Know that your needs will always be satisfied.
59. Realise that you always have access to perfect peace.
60. Realise - You are the change and you own it.
61. Energise others and light up the world. Be a beacon.
62. You are your own rule-maker. You decide who you are and who you want to be. No-one can judge you. The whole process is to create your true Self.
63. You are the only one who can assess how you are doing.
65. God’s greatest gift is unconditional love. God's greatest promise is unlimited potential.
66. Let go of anything or anyone that is negative or toxic in your life. Leave the drama triangle. The most successful people carefully curate what and who they let into their lives. Surrender the past. Don't wallow in fake victimhood or regret. The best thing about the past is that it's over. There is no growth in playing the victim. Switch from playing the victim to BEing a creator
67. Love always wins. Love is the answer.
68. You are all that is. When you move into the absolute, you move into love.
71. Realise that this is the hardest but most rewarding thing that you will ever do.
72. Let go of all your fears: Of being unloved, unlovable, unworthy, that you will be abandoned and that therefore you will die. None of these are true. FEAR is 'False Evidence Appearing Real' as a result of our childhood traumas, which have held us in captivity, through unconscious behaviour.
73. Realise that, as Jesus said, "The Kingdom of God is within."
75. Know your Self.
78. Connection is your way out of ego. When you are in ego and alone, you are behind 'enemy' lines.
80. The only question to ever ask is "What would love do now?" This is what will guide your life. This could be replaced with "What would God do now?" or whatever you see as your higher power.
88. Always communicate with others from your adult, assertive, unconditionally loving, humble yet unconquerable, open, vulnerable, honest, higher Self. You will see that if you do this with everyone that you meet, your life will be transformed and everything will become a miracle. Remember that you are a limitless BEing.
90. Each experience is a gift. And in each gift lies a treasure. Your greatest triumph is what you do in the time of your greatest trial. For the experience that you create is a statement to the Universe of who you truly are and want to be: To render your life divine.
91. You are a big creation machine.
92. Every soul will ultimately become a spiritual Master. A Master is someone who always comes from love, regardless of the outside situation.
93. A spiritual Master does not allow himself to feel victimised.
94. Remove judgement and the pain disappears.
95. That which you condemn will condemn you. That which you judge you will one day become. Therefore bless all.
96. If you do not go within, you will go without.
97. Joy comes from inside you.
98. Live a life of integrity - become whole again: Leave your fractured psyche behind. Coalesce your inner child, your higher Self and your shadow. Let them unite and melt into one. This one; this integrity; this wholeness will give you a life of dignity, joy, peace, and real personal power.
99. Change will come from Self-acceptance, courage, willingness and action, not from hustle or victimhood. As the psychologist Carl Rogers put it “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.”
100. Surrender all thoughts that are not of love, God, the Universe, or whatever form your higher power takes for you.
Your journey will be completely tailored to you. You don’t need to do all 100 of these. My gift is to be your guide until you can guide your Self.
Morpheus, the guide, says to Neo in the iconic film 'The Matrix' "I am trying to free your mind Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it..."
This is the path to becoming a fully realised BEing: Self-realisation. Are you ready to go on your very own Hero's Journey: The true path of your transformation? It's your choice...
Neo becomes 'The One' in 'The Matrix' 'Bullet stopping scene' as he realises that he can control the illusion that is life: Nothing less than being able to stop illusory bullets
The strength of my soul was born on the backs of moments that brought me to my knees.
It takes inner courage to own your Truth and to speak it. It takes unconditional Self love to accept it.
If you want to know where to find your contribution to the world, look at your wounds. When you learn how to heal them, teach others.
As you awaken you will come to understand that the journey to love isn’t about finding the one, it’s about becoming the one, just like Neo.
We will look into your soul, and you will live from there in perfect peace, joy, love, bliss, wisdom, Truth, and serenity. Let me know if you want to continue this conversation...
My gift is to be your guide. Let me know if you would like to continue this conversation...
Email me: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk
“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford
My coaching themes and services: Transformative Life Coaching, Transformational Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Recovery Coaching, Trauma Informed Coaching, Work Addiction Coaching, Workaholism Coaching, Addiction Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching.
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Hello,
I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching.
See you soon,
Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.