olivierbranford
- Sep 19, 2023
- 16 min read

Presence

Updated: 4 days ago

Steve Jobs said in some of his last words before dying from pancreatic cancer with a capital of 7 billion dollars “There is a big difference between being a human and being.” Presence is the gateway to BEing. What does that mean? Heaven is NOW-here...

Presence - the true key to all success

Thinking

Take a deep breath. Are thoughts going through your mind? Rumi, the poet and theologian says "The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore." Let me explain: It works like this: You have on average around 60,000 thoughts per day: 90 percent of them are repetitive, and 80–90 percent are negative. That’s around 45,000 negative, repetitive, sometimes catastrophising, thoughts per day. You latch on to some of the thoughts, identify with them, and these become your ‘thinking’. Or what you think is your thinking. These negative thoughts cause negative emotions, which are simply the body’s way of commenting on the quality of those thoughts. It’s just like feedback, it’s automatic. So, you live in fear, your whole life. This is our pain. This is the human condition. But it doesn't have to be that way.

It is best to simply note the thoughts and the feelings that come and let them pass, like watching a wave pass as you ‘bob’ over it or even effortlessly ride the wave on your surfboard: This is the basis of meditation and mindfulness. Then you will feel bliss, which is your truth, the energy that you feel when you are aligned to your purpose, totally present, or when you are in nature - without the fog of thinking.

You create your world with your thoughts: Make them good ones! Emmet Fox wrote in 'The Sermon on the Mount' that “All day long the thoughts that occupy your mind, your Secret Place, as Jesus calls it, are moulding your destiny for good or evil; in fact, the Truth is that the whole of our life’s experience is but the outer expression of inner thought. Now we can choose the sort of thoughts that we entertain. It will be a little difficult to break a bad habit of thought, but it can be done. We can choose how we shall think - in point of fact, we always do choose - and therefore our lives are just the result of the kind of thoughts we have.”

Presence is the fundamental pillar of personal transformation

Presence is a 'pre-sent' moment that has been sent to you from above. It's the key that unlocks every door. Without this keystone anything you construct in life is built on sand. It’s dust. And dust always returns to dust. As Eckhart Tolle, the contemporary voice of presence, says, “The present moment is all we have.” His book, the Power of Now, has the subheading “A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.” It is only by being fully present that you connect with your deeper self. That is why people go on retreats – they are actually retreating from themselves and their thinking. The power to bring you into the gap, the space between your thoughts, is where you find deep serenity, stillness, presence, and intuitive intelligence devoid of fear and limiting assumptions. The highest version of you. Most of us live trapped in the movement of thought inside our heads. We create fears that have no foundation. Practice being fully present in the moment, with ‘vibrant stillness,’ as many people in personal growth circles call it, which encapsulates the feeling of movement and serenity. I call it ‘energetic serenity’. It’s a unique combination of peace and energy that you may not have felt before. Nothing like the constant pressure to hustle and achieve that ultimately leads you to fail, burn out or become mentally ill.

Are you living in the present moment?

Presence is the seat of your soul

Presence is the place you will get to visit often as you awaken. Eventually you will never leave it, regardless of exterior circumstances. It becomes the ‘seat of your soul’ as Michael Singer writes in 'Living Untethered' and you never need to get up from that beautiful place. You need to train your self to be present. You need to practice it, cultivate it. Only presence brings total awareness. Otherwise, your days will blur by without any sense of meaning or fulfilment. You physically feel aliveness when you are present. If you are not present it is because you are hoping one day to arrive at something. If you live in the future, you will literally miss your life. You will come to on your death bed and think “I missed out on my whole life: How did that happen?” Every spiritual tradition has taught presence as being central to human happiness and connection with the other people that mean something to us. By spiritual I don’t mean religion, I simply mean looking within. We worry about not being good at certain things, but it’s never the thing that’s the problem – it’s us – once we change ourselves, our whole world changes and we become literally limitless. After all, your limits are self-imposed, aren’t they?

Emmet Fox, the spiritual guide and author of the book 'The Sermon on the Mount' wrote that “The art of life is to live in the present moment and to make that moment as perfect as we can by the realisation that we are the instruments and expression of God himself.” This is why 'The Lord's Prayer' includes "Thy Kingdom come; Thy will be done; on Earth as it is in Heaven." As Jesus said, the Kingdom of Heaven is within: It's inside you, and it's name is 'presence'. When you align your Self to God's will through prayer, meditation, and intuitive action, nothing can stop you.

Nic Nolte, in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, a movie inspired by true life events, plays the role of a guide named Socrates in a story about the path to healing and spiritual awakening: Following some very painful lessons, an athlete transforms from an ego-centric competitor to becoming a 'peaceful warrior'. I totally identify with this story: My name Olly means 'peaceful' and Alexander means 'defender of people:' The 'Peaceful Defender of People'. As the athlete tackles a seemingly impossible gymnastic sequence in the film, “Where are you, Dan?" "Here." "What time is it?" "Now." "What are You?" "This Moment.” World class athletes are coached to remain present. Every shot is the only shot, whether its Championship point at Wimbledon or the first point of the tournament. You must be present to win. The film director Federico Fellini said “There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the passion of life.” Johnny Cash summed it up: “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past, don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” Even our children are being told this, so why do we forget?: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is as mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present” (Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda). There is no Fear in the present. Contemporary protagonist Tolle says “Realise deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life… If not now, when?” Of course, such great thoughts always have their antecedents “Confine yourself to the present…. Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present” (Aurelius); Saint Charlotte said “Every day is a new day. No need to dwell on the past. Look straight ahead.” Jesus said “Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day.” “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” (Buddha). Tolle continues “Die to the past every moment. You don't need it. Only refer to it when it is absolutely relevant to the present. Feel the power of this moment and the fullness of BEing. Feel your presence… It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” De Mello agrees “Eternity is in this moment”. Corrie ten Boom, author, wrote “Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength – carrying two days at a once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”

Listening

No one really listens to you. Transformative Life Coaching, or “TLC,” may be the first time that you experience being really listened to. Just go to a restaurant and you will see couples, where both partners are on their phones constantly, not speaking to each other, or even looking at each other, for the entire time they’re there. It’s as if they are not there. They have trained themselves with millions of swipes to not be present. Whole families are disconnected from each other within their homes. Put your phone down. Use eye contact if the other person is comfortable with that. Take slow deep breaths. Gentle nodding to show you are listening and say “I hear you..” Ask questions. Your loved ones will literally sit up in front of your eyes as they feel seen and heard. Be like that with everyone.

Come back to presence

Babies are always present in the moment. Their natural state is to have a mind that is at ease and they revel in the experience of being alive. All is well with them. And if it isn’t it’s very short-lived. Animals are always present. Have you ever seen how serene a horse looks, or how happy your dog is to see you? Be full of gratitude for the time that people are present with you. Bring alert presence with light and energy. Really observe. Remember you are the “Manifestation of the universe perceiving itself” as Eckhart Tolle says. You are the witness, the observer. You know how you can get through a walk, a drive, or a task without even being aware? You don’t even remember it – you weren’t there – you weren’t present. You can miss your whole life like that too. You don’t need to comment internally on what you see. Then you sense that there is not only what you perceive through your senses, you can also sense an “Underlying stillness or presence as your self” as Eckhart Tolle says. Something inside you responds when you are in that state. You can then listen from that deeper place of inert stillness. Celebrate the small moments. That’s the key to fulfilment. It’s about feeling the day more and letting go of your burden of fear. Be life. Be alive. Just BE. You are the expression of the oneness that is the universe. Presence is not about just doing yoga occasionally. Carry your practice to your whole waking life, in every moment and to everyone you meet. You must fill the day with fulfilment, gratitude, and connection to be truly full of joy. The wonder of seeing the face of your child as they light up when they come home from school, and you really take the time to look in their eyes and ask them about their day and really listen. They will feel heard, valued and seen. As Eckhart Tolle says “Thinking becomes a habitual place of mental noise, where you feel that’s me. The next step in the evolution of human consciousness is stepping out of self talk, the conditioned mind, and realising there is much more to who I am than this conditioned content of my mind. And that is the beginning of awakening. You have to believe that there is more to who you are than the self talk in the head.”

Accept what is, let go of what was, have Faith in what will be. “If your mind carries a heavy burden of past, you will experience more of the same. The past perpetuates itself through lack of presence. The quality of your consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future.. the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfilment in whatever form. Both are illusions… Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life - and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you… All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence... As soon as you honour the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action” (Eckhart Tolle).

Once we realise that “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us” (Ralph Waldo Emerson), we feel a tremendous sense of serenity and peace. Dale Carnegie, author, said “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson and presence

Presence and business

So, how does this apply to business? Successful business involves setting goals, interacting with others in the context of meetings, or outside these, and doing the work. When you create goals, obstacles arrive. Always. The Bhagavad Ghita - one of the ancient texts of Hinduism, that dates back 2,500 years, states “Do not be too attached to the outcome, then it’s much more likely that the outcome will be good.” If you have an excessive attachment, then the journey becomes very stressful. Here don’t focus on what you are trying to achieve, as in the goal, but be as present as you can in the doing, so that it doesn’t become stressful. It’s the same with cold water swimming or cold showers, unless you are fully present, they are excruciating! Stress is toxic to you. In some companies the whole environment is toxic, especially when ego is involved, where people try to sabotage each other. I was very much in this environment and it’s not sustainable and certainly not worth any money that the environment will pay for you to suffer it. There is no joy or fulfilment there. Don’t seek ego satisfaction – focus on being present in the joy of doing. Face any obstacle at once, after a deep breath and a short pause, and think assertively how you can either pass the obstacle or use it to learn. This is equally true in your personal life. Don’t react as though the obstacles should not be happening. What if every obstacle was actually created by the part of you that loves your true self the most, as a lesson, in order to redirect your life in line with your true purpose?

Eckhart Tolle suggests that you start every business meeting with a moment of presence. 30 or 60 seconds. Be alert – then you are accessing the deeper intelligence and you become more creative, and so do all those around you. You bring stillness to discussions. You become aware of your own alertness. You are not judging what people are saying – you don’t react, you create. They create. Become spacious when communicating with people. Give them space. Ask questions, not just respond. This is a very creative approach. Otherwise every meeting just becomes about ego: Terrified 7-year olds masquerading as adults needing to convince themselves of their worthiness.

Presence and coaching

Presence is the basis of great coaching: Holding space for the other to step out of their ego and into their highest version of themselves. It was also the basis of the Socratic method. Socrates said “I am the only one who knows that I know nothing.” That means being comfortable in a state of not knowing. That is the first step to true wisdom. By asking questions the group comes up with an answer or you do yourself. Your ego is what limits you and at the same time lies and tells you that you are as good as you can get: That’s so very far from the truth.

Be mindful of presence when you perform any physical action. Focus on your breath or your inner body sensations. Bring BEing into the doing, until they merge completely. You are a human BEing not a human doing. Be mindful especially when you do the things that you do every day – then you will have mindful moments or gaps throughout the day – for example when washing your hands; walking up stairs… Things stop being a means to an end – they become an end in themselves. This brings in space. Then even when you are engaged in the doing you can sense the presence that you are. This increases your intelligence, beyond your IQ intelligence. You can even practice mindfulness when using a computer – have inner body awareness, and focus on your breathing, as the computer draws energy out of you, so it’s doubly important to do it then. Go more deeply below the surface of the present moment – whatever you perceive with your senses. The surface of the present moment is a way of entering the present moment – you literally “come to your senses,” as they say, and come out of your stream of thinking. You ‘wake up’ into the surroundings of where you are. To go deeper you become aware of the background to your senses: this happens automatically. This depth never changes, it’s like the bottom of the sea – it’s your conscious space. The surface undergoes continuous change. The depth doesn’t change as it is pure consciousness. That is where you find serenity. If you are rooted in that, you will find peace and tranquillity. The ripples are the surface of the sea, yet they are one with the depths. You need to realise the depths to which you are always connected and you don’t even know it yet. But you will…

Get used to silence. Deepak Chopra, in his book 'The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success', says silence is one of the pillars of tapping into your pure potentiality, the universal life force that brings all your capacity to achieve limitless success.

Eckhart Tolle says “Presence is the arising of a dimension of consciousness from where you can become aware that there is a voice in the head. That awareness is beyond thinking. It’s a space of consciousness where you can be the “observer of your own mind”—the awareness behind the thought processes. For human beings to discover this dimension is extraordinarily important. When you no longer look to the mind to provide you with your sense of identity — because your sense of identity now comes now from a deeper place — that’s the shift that changes everything, dramatically. It is the most important thing that can happen in your lifetime. As presence arises, you’ll find in many areas of your life enormous improvements. One is that the brash noisy voice in the head (your ego), that before created such anguish and unhappiness, no longer has that power over you. As the mind’s conditioning begins to subside, you can be with people, events, and situations in a non-dysfunctional way, aligned with whatever arises in the present moment.” There is a sense of aliveness that flows in when we step out of the mind and into stillness. Sigmund Freud, neurologist and founder of psychoanalysis, said “You are not your thoughts.” The still quiet voice that you will start to hear is the true you.

You have access to it anytime and anywhere. Amy Johnson wrote in her brilliant book “Being Human” “Something truly magical happens when you deeply get that the thoughts that roll through your mind all day long are not yours. You aren’t the thinker of your thoughts.” When you become enlightened to this, which simply means waking up, you know that your happiness does not depend on people, places or things - it can’t! Awareness and enlightenment are very simple. Eckhart Tolle says “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.” So, presence is relinquishing identification with the thinking mind.

Abraham Lincoln said “The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.” Abraham Lincoln did great things for the United States. He took life One Day at a time.. He broke the future into manageable pieces. We can do the same. We can live in the present and focus on the task at hand. Spirituality comes when we focus this way. When we stay in the present we find a choice. And we worry less about the future. Still, we must have goals. We must plan for the future. Goals and plans help us give more credit to the present than to the future. And when we feel good about the present, we feel good about the future.

Inspired by Eckhart Tolle, in our 1:1 coaching sessions, we will go deep below the surface, in 1 minute then 5 minute deeper dives into presence using silence and being attentive to what sensations you have inside your body with a focus on your breathing. The deeper dive happens automatically as you settle into this, like a glass filling with water then plunging to the depths as the air escapes. When you go below the surface the intrusive thoughts simply stop coming.

In 1:1 coaching we will also do simple and powerful exercises that you will have never done before, inspired the psychologist, founder of the humanistic approach, and coaching master Carl Rogers, and also inspired by the ‘Thinking Environment’ described by Nancy Kline, in her game changing book “Time to Think” that we will use to drop out of your inner critical self talk and become instantly mindful and feel totally connected and present. In our sessions we will also talk about the why’s and how’s of yoga, mindfulness and meditation, and how they also relate to presence. In short I will arm you with the tools you need to live deeply in the present, live your life, transform to your true self, and connect with others, the basis of true authentic joy. That's where we will start. Where we go from there is up to you. My gift is to be your guide.

Sending you love, light, and blessings.

Please let me know if you would like to join my 'VOICE for men' group: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, and timeless truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears.

Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD

My gift is to be your guide. Let me know if you would like to continue this conversation...

Email me: hello@transformativelifecoach.co.uk

“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford

My coaching themes and services - I work 1:1 and in groups with men who are looking for: Transformative Life Coaching, Transformational Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Recovery Coaching, Trauma Informed Coaching, Work Addiction Coaching, Workaholism Coaching, Addiction Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching.

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