INTRODUCTION
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Masculine and feminine energies are both equally as important and necessary in every one of us, regardless of our gender: We have both energies moving through us. The differences between the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine can be remarkable and, like most opposing forces (Yin and Yang), the balance of the two energies within us will determine how much we thrive and also how harmonious our relationships with others are. You have most likely heard these terms being used, but do you know what they are? Is it a way of understanding the world, ourselves and each other, or some form of enlightenment? This article weighs in on what men need to know about the Divine Masculine, and also the Divine Feminine, how they relate to personal transformation, and how we can use these concepts in the quest for a collective awakening and healing, repairing our ruptured deep connections along the way.
Transformative Life Coaching draws on, amongst other things, positive psychology, philosophy, and spiritual concepts. The Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine concepts are not 'woowoo' or 'New Age' - it's relevant to a collective awakening. I am a scientist, a doctor, and have a basic science PhD, and have written over 50 published peer reviewed scientific articles. But I have learned, despite my many degrees, that true wisdom does not come from books or research articles, and there is no PhD to your life. Looking within is where you will find truth. The Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine do draw from psychology, and I can feel their truth and how it helps us to understand how we can transform in relation to ourselves and each other. I hope that you can feel it too. Truth is truth and your truth in relation to you is the absolute truth. These concepts have the potential to bring so much joy, peace, manifestation, and harmony. In this blog post I will answer the following questions:
What is the Divine Masculine?
What is the Divine Feminine?
Why are these concepts important and how do they relate to each other?
How do these concepts align with spiritual awakening and personal and collective transformation?
The Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine
What is the Divine Masculine?
The Divine (or Embodied) Masculine holds space, creates safety and structure, witnesses without judgement, penetrates via presence, is fully resourced, and has an outward energetic life force. The key elements are also about inner and outer power and strength, stability, survival, doing, self-confidence, curiosity, protectiveness, willpower, and taking action. Using the left side of the brain, it is analytical, focussed, practical, problem solving, makes decisions rapidly, logical, loves purpose and direction and when used well it can lead to real creativity. There is also a real sense of independence with the masculine side which loves to feel important and acknowledged. Grudges are not held for long as this interferes with the sense of freedom it requires. The Divine masculine is also deeply present and protective, allowing a space to be created where the Divine in us can meet each other.
The divine masculine has elements of light and dark
Goethe's wrote “And to all this man is drawn by the power of his own soul, by the powers that are dimly sensed when he passes through the inner portals of the soul, when he seeks for that divine voice within calling him to the union of the ‘eternal masculine’, — the universe, with the ‘eternal feminine’, — consciousness.” This is more than just about traits, this is a calling to return to the soul, and expanded consciousness.
The Divine Masculine is what allows us to "do," to take decisive action, but not aggressive or angry action despite what we might assume. Instead, it is based in loving faith-based action, with Grace. The masculine listens to the Divine Feminine's knowledge, receives her intuitive wisdom with openness, and then acts on that knowledge with confidence. This action is based in knowing that we are a part of something much larger than ourselves. It is masculine energy that unites the world with this love and "personal authority." It is "he" who looks out for, protects, and provides for "his" community, family, and those in need. The Wounded Masculine, the conditioned, traumatised shadow of the Divine Masculine perverts this by creating conflict when fear has overtaken faith, and "he" feels the need to prove a sense of worth due to feeling unworthy of inclusion or love.
The acceptance of the Divine Masculine and Divine feminine in each of us is a 'brothers’ spiritual coming of age'. Most men block their feminine energy. It can take months and months of work before a man feels safe enough to just express an authentic emotion, other than anger: Or drop his ego, whereas women usually in a first Transformative Life Coaching (TLC) session will feel a lot safer. Men are being encouraged (to the dismay of some unconscious people) to honour their own humanity in all its facets, to feel the feels they’ve been denied and act on them. It’s a shifting of restrictions on what a man is allowed to be, what he's allowed to do and feel, how he expresses himself, influences his peers and the next generation, his children. Men have also been suffocating beneath the bonds placed on their very existence as emotive, nurturing beings. The patriarchy causes men to suffer too by burying their emotions alive - they then resurface as the shadow in a controlling manner. The pain isn’t quantifiable, let alone comparable: Like with like can't be compared between the genders. We have to realise that collective compassion is needed. Without in any way belittling the suffering of women, men suffer in silence too. These injustices neither negate or belittle each gender’s pain. It's simply wounding at a species-deep level. The time of balance has begun, with all genders beginning to feel the pain and seek to ease it collectively and to heal the collective wounds and rupture that it has caused through the conditioned mind. Difficult continuing conversations with many false starts and do-overs are happening. While women have endured and fought against a full range of societal prisons affecting everything from our bodies to our participation in the world, men have also been suffocating beneath the bonds placed on their very existence as emotive, nurturing beings. Compassion requires understanding and truth, not projected narratives. For this we need to listen, and be open and vulnerable. The flip side of that truth is young males have had their humanity shamed and stunted as they grew to manhood, a spiritual constriction as brutal as foot binding in its way. Only, their damage expressed itself internally with shrapnel ravaging their loved ones and community. The ones in control crippled them, boys adapted to survive and then went on to continue the cycle that hobbled them. They suppressed the trauma of their emotional wings being broken beneath a learned pride in emulating their oppressors. It takes a brave man to be open and vulnerable, to wear the flamboyant colours his heart may long for, to relearn how to love effusively and openly, while his brothers watch on tentatively and sometimes with judgement. It takes huge Self-compassion to step out of the drama triangle that is victim and villain, to create something new, or at least long lost from matriarchal and more egalitarian societies. Because they knew, they all knew how to love with all their hearts as children, when they lived in bliss and wellbeing, before the conditioned mind. It’s still a risky thing in modern society for a man to coax his wounded inner child out of hiding or release it from the cage he has built to protect it, the armour of ego, love it and allow it to be loved, and allow its creativity, playfulness, joy and vulnerability to shine through. The tenets of manly men in all their violent, cold brashness still cling like rust to our world. The divine masculine is about not only polishing that rust away to reveal the original brilliance of souls, but also standing in fierce defiance of allowing it to tarnish the pristine hearts of new baby men. As fathers we have a divine duty to break the generational trauma. This is easier said than done and requires Self-awareness, forgiveness, and strength. In the face of an old regime that fears emasculation and shames them at every opportunity for what they fail to recognise as the very thing our species needs to thrive. This is not a conversation that can be had without women, nor without untangling the generations-old injustices at the hands of grown men. It’s time to sit with each other as siblings of humanity, striving to accept others' truth and honour it. Because hearts and trust are won with understanding and compassion, never judgement. All around, men are exploring what it means to be a good man, a full part of their families and relationships. They are strangling themselves working their way into baby carriers and wraps, finding joy in sending mothers off to work while they become the stay at home caregiver. It’s now men with Daddy blogs and play groups, men who braid their daughters' hair with pride, who take their children to their various activities, and remain present with them at all times, so that they are seen, heard, valued, and loved unconditionally, as well as kept safe. Men are hugging and cuddling their baby's boys, teaching them that real men (and women) cry and are allowed the full beautiful range of emotion, and thats the only way to be and to heal. They’re not only struggling to undo their own conditioning, but learning and instilling humanity in their children. Even the older generations are tiptoeing into the conversation, in their own ways and at their own pace. Elder males are becoming more accepting of the fluidity of traditional gender norms and roles. A quiet wave of, “I don’t understand it, but I’m trying,” has begun to murmur across the conversation. Not understanding it is not a reason to not accept it or judge it. Understanding is a commitment. The time has come to sit in each others' truths quietly, listening and observing in turns as we grow back into the best of our selves. It is going to be so worth it. It already is. If both women and men can feel seen, safe, and trusting, then collective love and awakening can flourish. It's time to view your fellow humans as individual hearts worthy of understanding and support: To reject the worn-out soundbites of gender stereotypes and backlash. It’s time to celebrate the age of the divine masculine as it pairs with the power of the rising divine feminine. Balance in the hearts of blended humanity. It is time for women and men to accept the divine feminine and masculine as part of all of us.
For without this transcendence what is love? Before you read on I would like to ask you to define love. We all need it but I think collectively we have forgotten what it is. As Brené Brown so beautifully writes, we cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them–we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. We are mirrors for each other. To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare. They should not be mistaken for love: That was our mistake as wounded children as we could not know otherwise. When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible. The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows. It’s what holds us back from true power. So step into your higher Self, love your Self and mirror that awareness to the world. Then you will be truly powerful. “You’re Higher-ed”. Create a space of radical compassion, non-judgement, love, presence and energy where you see the other for what they are, human and divine, lightness and darkness, and that’s their limitless power. Finding the other within is the first step to love. For what is love for others but a mirror for our Self-love? With time, and in particular when the transformation becomes visible in every action, word, and behaviour, trust and safety will become embedded in the relationships. This also involves having a vision for ourselves, facilitated through self-compassion and allowing ourselves to change and transform, and allowing the other to have a vision for themselves, and of a beautiful life together. It allows a deep understanding of compassion, which means acceptance, and of unconditional love, which need not necessarily involve romantic love, and to be free of attachments, yet with deep authentic connection, in alignment with our new embodied higher Selves. It involves stepping out of drama, negativity and projection, and making peace with our past. It means connecting at soul-level. From higher Self to higher Self. It means celebrating when the other does things that one can't, especially where those things are done selflessly. Being intently listened to, not to reply but to understand, is essential to developing a deep rapport and being seen, heard, and valued. Having faith placed in us and doing likewise is so critical to feeling empowered. Being present, gentle when indicated, and slowing down at times is a portal to deep connection. Surrendering to each other is an indication of recognising the divine in one another. Understanding when closeness, company and connection, both physically and emotionally, are wanted helps build that deep connection. Climbing the mountain of excitement and pure energy together, with patience is crucial, crossing bridges to wonder and mystery without fear or shame, with an immense capacity to love, feel belonging, support and to be carried when required.
One of the greatest characteristics of the Divine Masculine is his search for meaning and his purpose in life. Whilst on the path of discovering his purpose, he will take turns, go through ups and downs, struggles and challenges. This path, if he chooses, is the way to his liberation and soul fulfilment in life. A Divine Masculine who has found his purpose is unstoppable in pursuing it, thus evolving higher and higher in his life and his being. His purpose is his directions which enables him to steer his ship through the unpredictable oceans of life with a firm and strong will, ready to take on the storms that are coming up randomly. It is his anchor in times of uncertainty and his destination. His purpose might change over time, or rather his path to his purpose. Once the Divine Masculine has discovered his underlying, deep purpose on which his values and integrity are based on, he will find and make new ways to fulfil his soul contract in life.
On the light side of the divine masculine there are protection, strong foundations, safety. On the shadow side of masculine energy, if not balanced or aware, it can lead to anger, resentment, inner conflict, dominance, and being emotionless and egotistical. The Wounded Masculine is avoidant, fearful, aversive to communication, reactive, controlling, bullying, tyrannical and loves a battlefield. He wants to wear armour. More about this later.
The Divine Masculine lives in perfect balance with the Divine Feminine. It values all of life equally, and operates from the heart. They are no longer tolerating unconscious and unkind behaviour. They are standing up for themselves, speaking from the heart, and stepping into the power of their true, balanced, authentic selves. This is healing, and this is us choosing to step into our freedom. And now to the Divine Feminine.
What is the divine feminine?
Why are these concepts important and how do they relate to each other?
How do these concepts align with spiritual awakening and personal and collective transformation?
Sending you love, light, and blessings.
Please let me know if you would like to join my 'VOICE for men' group: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, and timeless truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears.
Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford
My coaching themes and services - I work 1:1 and in groups with men who are looking for: Transformative Life Coaching, Transformational Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Recovery Coaching, Trauma Informed Coaching, Work Addiction Coaching, Workaholism Coaching, Addiction Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching.
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Hello,
I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching. I am here to serve you.
See you soon,
Olly Alexander Branford MD, MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.