Out of Chaos Comes a Dancing Star. Embrace and integrate your shadow, your chaos and your darkness. The artist Paul Cézanne wrote “We live in a rainbow of chaos.” The pot of gold at the end of that rainbow is labelled 'vulnerability.' Talent and genius are the domain of the integrated soul. As Arthur Schopenhauer, the brilliant philosopher, wrote "Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see..."
You are not broken. But you do need to become whole. We are all a bit crazy. We are all quite badly wounded just a result of growing up. In fact we are all traumatised people traumatising other traumatised people.
In the film 'The Magnificent Seven', the following proverb was spoken "What we lost in the fire, we will find in the ashes."
Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote:
"If Winter comes
Can Spring be far behind?"
Kahlil Gibran wrote "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Healed people heal people. We are unconquerable. We are only as sick as our secrets. We are only as sick as the fracture in our psyche: We need to reset that fracture. We need to let go and be vulnerable...
We live in a toxic, broken, uncivilised culture where vulnerability is considered to be something bad and intolerable. There is a Chinese proverb which states there is "Chaos under the heavens and the situation is excellent." All is well. It's a mess but all is well. Yet a e strive to be stronger, faster, better, richer, thinner, smoother, fuller, sexier, and younger. We strive to be worthy. These are all forms of 'imitation love.' It seems like if there’s one day we are not improving ourselves in some way, that day is wasted. Schopenhauer wrote "The greatest of follies is to sacrifice health for any other kind of happiness... Money is human happiness in the abstract; he, then, who is no longer capable of enjoying human happiness in the concrete devotes himself utterly to money... It is a clear gain to sacrifice pleasure in order to avoid pain... Wealth is like sea-water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become; and the same is true of fame." Imitation love is insatiable.
Professor Brené Brown says “When you shut down vulnerability, you shut down opportunity.” Every day is a miracle: Schopenhauer wrote "Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth." What will you do today?
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You don’t always have to be at the ‘top of your game’. In fact if you want to be at the top of your game, one of the first things that you have to do is be comfortable with the vulnerability of saying that you are not ok when you are not ok. In her book, ‘Daring Greatly’, Brené describes vulnerability as "Uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." It's that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to let go and surrender control. Brené continues “Vulnerability sounds like Truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness… By definition, entrepreneurship is vulnerable. It’s all about the ability to handle and manage uncertainty.” To echo Brené to all those ‘leaders’ and 'institutions' out there “If you’ve created a work culture where vulnerability isn’t okay, you’ve also created a culture where innovation and creativity aren’t okay.” Brené is a research Professor at the University of Houston. Brené has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of six number one New York Times best sellers and is the host of two award-winning Spotify podcasts, 'Unlocking Us' and 'Dare to Lead'. Arthur Schopenhauer wrote "I've never known any trouble than an hour's reading didn't assuage." Brené’s books have been translated into more than 30 languages, and her titles include (with Audible links thanks to moi - you are welcome) 'Atlas of the Heart', 'Dare to Lead', 'Braving the Wilderness', 'Rising Strong', 'Daring Greatly', and 'The Gifts of Imperfection'. Brené’s TED talk on the 'Power of Vulnerability' is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks in the world, with over 50 million views.
It’s fine to need time out, to connect with others, or to ask for help: In fact these are key elements to possibility, success and abundance. So next time that someone who you value or you love asks you how you are, then tell them how you really are, Don’t just say “I am fine.” As Irvin D. Yalom wrote “The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help... Self-awareness is a supreme gift, a treasure as precious as life. This is what makes us human.” And it’s totally ok to be human, just in case you had forgotten.
Friedrich Nietzsche, one of the greatest Western philosophers of all time, wrote “One must have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star.” Carl Gustav Jung (no introduction needed) wrote “In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.” Nature is full of chaos. We feel anxiety when we try to bring control to the chaos, and invariably fail: You can’t fight the Universe and win, but you can get it to fight your battles by joining with the soul team.
Henry Adams wrote “Chaos was the law of Nature; Order was the dream of man.” He should have said that “Order (ego) is the nightmare of man.” Our anxiety and fear is due to our ego's need to control the Universe, and the ego being terrified as it knows that it can't do that. The ego is a terrified, lying young child.
Deepak Chopra wrote “In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” Embrace the chaos with an alert stillness within. Never get up from the seat of your soul. Henry Miller wrote “Chaos is the score upon which reality is written.” And what music to the ears! And you are the unchanging screen upon which the movie of your life is projected.
As inspiration, you could think of the tennis ‘competitive beast’ Rafael Nadal (according to his own coach). He is a beast physically and mentally: And that is his beauty and the beauty of his tennis game. Even though Rafael Nadal’s shots are called 'vicious' and 'outrageous', he is probably the most intelligent, disciplined, accomplished, and one of the kindest athletes in the world, serving up nothing less than spectacular games. He always has kind words to say for his opponents whether he wins or loses. Sports psychology and coaching is fundamental to sport because it solves many internal frustrations and internal battles. Nadal is a beacon of light to younger players: Because he has sided with his chaos and is at peace with it. He is a 'dancing star'!
What appears as 'chaos' is all part of the divine plan for your life: As Emmet Fox, the spiritual leader who authored the book 'The Sermon on the Mount', wrote “Some day (when we have enough spiritual growth) we will come to see that the seemingly disjointed happenings, the apparent accidents, are really part of an orderly pattern.” As Einstein wrote "God doesn't play dice."
Our emotional and psychological discomfort in life is in proportion to our denial of our mental health issues. There is so much stigma about mental illness. And our ego doesn’t want to admit to not being ok. Carl Jung embraced his inner chaos when he wrote his ‘Red Book’ (which was only published decades after his death as he thought that readers would think him insane) in calligraphy by hand. Many other authors have embraced their darkness. The ‘Red Book’ Jung chronicled his nervous breakdown and a near psychotic episode. He let himself plummet into his internal fantasies and documented this as an exercise. He entered a liminal state (between worlds) - a state of the 'Dark Night of the Soul', while waiting for the Phoenix to rise from the ashes. He let himself see visions and the crumbling of civilisation. He also saw rivers of blood. He foresaw the First World War. He also used his ‘dive into madness’ as the creative force behind his many books and paradigm-shifting theories. His 'not being ok' was his creative force.
Our inner chaos may present as a tragedy, but as with everything it may be perceived as a gift if we look through new eyes. As long as you are at least one step ahead on the path, others will follow. As Irvin D. Yalom wrote “Psychiatry is a strange field because, unlike any other field of medicine, you never really finish. Your greatest instrument is you, yourself, and the work of self-understanding is endless… Despair is the price one pays for self-awareness. Look deeply into life, and you'll always find despair… The good therapist has to enter into his own darkness.” Carl Jung wrote "Only the wounded healer can truly heal" Brené wrote in ‘Braving the Wilderness’ “Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.”
There is no rose without risking the thorn. Brené wrote “Nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I’m standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.” Darkness is a commonly used symbol in literature to represent various ideas and themes. Brené wrote in Daring Greatly’ “Much of the beauty of light owes its existence to the dark.” The darkness may symbolise fear (in which most of us live), the unknown (which we have to be happy with if we are to have Faith in a higher power), or the subconscious mind. Think George Orwell, William Golding, Anthony Burgess, Aldous Huxley. Emily Bronté, and Sylvia Plath (who suffered from severe depression and ultimately committed suicide). Some of these authors also wrote about Utopia. Out of darkness comes creativity and light. Being vulnerable is a shining light to others. Brené wrote in ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.” She wrote “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” So, it’s ok to not be ok, and to tell people that. They will love you more, not less. Brené says in ‘Dare to Lead’ “We must take off the armour, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen”. I will if you will…
If you want a life of infinite possibility you will have to work on your vulnerability. As Brown wrote in ‘Rising Strong’ “Vulnerability - the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome... I’m learning that recognising and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and Grace.”
"We live in a rainbow of chaos" (Paul Cézanne)
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“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.” Olly Alexander Branford
My coaching themes and services: Transformative Life Coaching, Transformational Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Recovery Coaching, Trauma Informed Coaching, Work Addiction Coaching, Workaholism Coaching, Addiction Coaching, Mindfulness Coaching.
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Hello,
I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching.
See you soon,
Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.