Emotional spirals are what make you a human BEing, and also one who is capable of feeling the full spectrum of emotion. Don't deny them. By truly feeling you emotions fully we avoid casting them into our shadow self. The more you feel them, the more you reclaim them from the shadow and the less they cause further emotional spirals.
I have just had a couple of days of deep depression and severe anxiety with very dark thoughts. It knocked me sideways. I wasn’t expecting such a downturn. What did I do about it?
Emotional Spirals
For my 120th article I want to open my heart. When you speak from your tender heart you are an authentic leading light. It's ok to be vulnerable. You are leading with love and you will be love and be loved.
I connected with others and was open about how I was feeling. Everyone I spoke to said that they were not surprised that I was feeling low and anxious after burying my mother last Tuesday. It's still early days. I allowed myself to grieve. I allowed my soul to cry. I realise that some buried, banked emotions were resurfacing, and needed to be processed. The grief for one's mother, however much she gave you a dysfunctional childhood, trauma, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), is a huge life cycle process.
What else did I do? I walked in the forest until I could walk no more, listening to my collection of favourite transformative books. The sun spattered on the ground, filtered by the pale green leaves of Spring. I waved at my inner critic as I passed by, who I dumped into a bush a couple of years ago. He didn't wave back and that's ok.
I journaled and wrote a number of articles here as creativity drops me into total presence and the world becomes silent and stands still. It's the same when I am Deep Coaching and when I speak with anyone, from one soul to another.
In the Bible in Psalm 46:10 it states: “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the Earth.”
Take your time
The French philosopher Blaise pascal wrote in 1600 that "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."
I meditated twice daily. I went to a couple of yoga sessions.
I leaned into my Faith: Spiritual dis-ease of the soul can only be healed through spiritual practices in my experience, as described by Carl Jung. Bob Proctor said that "Faith and fear: Both demand you believe in something you cannot see. You choose!"
I Zoomed in to my VOICE group for men that I have created and told them very openly about how I was feeling. We had a silent meditation to drop out of our minds and into our hearts, followed by 10 minute shares each, with feedback. Marcel Proust said that "We are healed of suffering only by experiencing it to the full."That was so cathartic. It is in expressing emotions that one processes and releases them, like releasing feathers in the wind, seeing them float and spiral away. I surrendered my emotions. I only allowed thoughts of love to enter my consciousness. We need to learn to surf our emotions like waves, and not them crash on us.
The only way through the pain is in the pain. There are no shortcuts. You can’t push a football under water forever. It comes out as unproductive thoughts unless you deal with the pain. Life is tough for everyone. We must not be fooled otherwise.
I let go of the trivialities of life. Fear is never present in the present moment. Fear of fear, which is our main source of fear, is always generated in one's own head. One can lose fear whilst nothing has altered in the outside world, by rearranging one's thinking from fear to love. Our perception is altered, and as a result, so is our reality.
I let go of my attachments to my mother's funeral and shut the door to the past, taking only the lessons.
I was gentle with myself. I told my inner child that I love him and that he needn’t be frightened.
I did not hide away. I did not abandon anyone. I allowed myself to be open, authentic, and vulnerable. I spoke from the heart: From my very soul. The deepest part of me.
I served others, making many phone calls to men (outreach is an act of humility and therefore deflates our ego), many of them also doctors, who are also struggling, allowing them to verbally ventilate too: As Henry David Thoreau wrote “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country... A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them.”
Yet I know that: This too shall pass; All is well and shall be well.
The key is simply to have the courage to stop, meditate, receive the clarity that this brings, and face your feelings. In that pause you become the observer of your thoughts - the silent witness. This involves not giving weight to anything: There is no need to label. Nothing is good or bad - it just is. Don’t give value to thoughts. Know thyself.
Namaste.
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Hello,
I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my website for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching.
See you soon,
Olly Alexander Branford MBBS, MA(Cantab), PhD
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I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have published over 50 peer reviewed scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for four years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.