Surrender Some More
- olivierbranford
- 1 day ago
- 21 min read
I have already written about ‘Surrender’, how to ‘Overcome All Your Limitations By Surrendering All Your Fears’, the ’10 Things That Happen When You Surrender To The Universe’, and ‘Let Go and Find Flow.’ Sometimes the concept of surrender is described in vague terms, leaving us confused. This article is to clarify exactly what surrender is.
Surrender means to let go of control, handing it over to the Universe, to let go of your ego, and also to let go of judging, negative thinking and limiting beliefs, and preferences. Control is the opposite of Faith.
Surrender is key to our mental health, our wellbeing, healing, and our spiritual evolution. It’s a truly important principle. By surrendering our preferences (also called desires), we find peace and can manifest abundantly.
A common phrase attributed to the Buddha related to desire and suffering is, “Desire is the cause of all suffering.” This is a simplified way of expressing the Buddhist concept that our suffering often arises from clinging to things, people, or outcomes that we desire, in other words ‘Emotional Sobriety’. The ‘Four Noble Truths’, a central teaching in Buddhism, elaborate on this, stating that suffering exists, it has a cause, which is always our preferences (desires), it can be overcome, and the path to overcoming it involves understanding and eliminating the cause.
When you are fighting a losing battle, the only way to win is to surrender. To surrender is not to be defeated: It’s to defect from the illusions created by the ego, by surrendering it. Surrender means trusting the Universe. Surrender and acceptance are key concepts to everyone’s life.
Introduction
From a spiritual point of view, it doesn’t seem like anyone agrees on what surrender means. It’s one of those strange terms where it seems as if everyone who talks about it has a slightly different definition. This is why I have written this article: To get to the very essence of surrender, in service to you, so that you may harness this superpower in your life. The quote “The Kingdom of God is within you” is found in Luke 17:21 and is a key part of Jesus’ teachings about the nature of our Higher Power’s reign. This phrase is a response to the Pharisees’ question about when the Kingdom of God would come, and it suggests that the Kingdom is not a future event or a place to be found externally, but rather a spiritual reality that exists within all individuals.
Spiritual surrender, in essence, means relinquishing personal control and submitting to a Higher Power, whether it’s God, the Universe, Universal Intelligence, Nature, love, or a guiding force within one’s Self. It’s about letting go of rigid expectations, attachments, and preferences, embracing the present moment, and trusting in a greater plan. This practice can lead to a sense of peace, freedom, and alignment with a larger, divine purpose.
Surrender is not some passive, doormat-level, ‘step-on-me-Universe-I-deserve-it’ manoeuvre. Surrender is the most rebellious, spine-tingling, dimension-shattering act a BEing can commit to in a world addicted to absolute, relentless control, in attempt to free us from the chaos, dysfunctionality, and hatred of this world.
But what is surrender, really? What are you surrendering to? And why does your ego clutch its pearls every time it hears the word?
Surrender means to let go of control, handing it over to the Universe, to let go of your ego, and also to let go of judging, negative thinking and limiting beliefs, and preferences.
I used to think trusting the Universe, surrender, meant everything fell into place. Now I know: Usually, it means everything falling apart — and allowing it. I thought trust would feel like floating. It felt like freefall. I bought into the belief that trusting the Universe meant you surrendered and immediately got what you wanted. Like, “Okay, Universe, I let go — now send me the soulmate, dream job, abundance, inner peace, etc.” … Nothing happened. Worse — some things got messier. People left. Opportunities slammed shut. All my plans went down the drain. And I was left, holding the pieces of a life I thought was divinely aligned, wondering: “Is this what trust and surrender is supposed to feel like?”Because I didn’t feel wise or empowered. I felt betrayed. And I couldn’t blame anyone. The worst part of trusting is the in-between. It’s the long and lonely spiritual hallway between closed doors and the one that hasn’t opened yet. And it’s damn uncomfortable. Because, when your life falls apart, and you are called to discover your true Self, you want to know what is happening. You want the guarantee, and all you get is stillness and silence. Trusting the Universe doesn’t always feel good. It often feels like not knowing, not controlling, and not getting your way. We think trust is about waiting until things make sense. Nope.
Sometimes, trust is waking up at 3am with anxiety and saying, “I have no idea where this is going… But I’ll keep walking anyway.”
Sometimes trust is:
Leaving a relationship that isn’t bad, but also isn’t right.
Starting over with nothing but a gut feeling or a heart feeling. Neuroscientists tell us that we have three ‘brains’ due to extensive neural networks between the brain, the gut, and the heart.
Saying no to something that looks perfect, because your body says it’s not.
Being okay with not having a plan.
Trust is not neat. It’s messy Faith in the dark. Trusting the Universe doesn’t mean getting what you want: Your desires and preferences. It means receiving what you need to evolve. And sometimes, the first step in becoming who you’re meant to be is watching everything you’ve been clinging to dissolve. Joseph Campbell, who described the ‘Hero’s Journey’ wrote that “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Christ said “You must die to be reborn.” Your ego must die to give birth to your Higher Power.
In that moment, you have to trust that life is making space for what you asked for. And it usually means changing your beliefs and environment so that the new you can emerge.
Most people wait for clarity before they act. But real trust means acting in the dark with no guarantee. No map. No backup plan. It’s not romantic or easy. That’s why most people don’t take the path and choose to remain asleep. We are not comfortable with it. It may mean facing situations that we think that we cannot handle. It’s not easy. That’s why, in the iconic film ‘The Matrix’, Morpheus says to Neo “I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.”
It’s downright terrifying. But it’s real. And when I finally moved, not knowing if I was right — that’s when the steps on the path began to appear. So yes, trust looks like acting before having the guarantee. Before getting clarity.
When we let go, we create space inside us that allows us to connect with ourselves, others and to our Higher Power. It means letting go of our ego, and surrendering to love.
Trusting the Universe humbles you
Humility is a superpower. Lao Tzu, the Chinese philosopher and author of the ‘’Tao To Ching’, wrote that “All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it its power. If you want to govern the people, you must place your Self below them. if you want to lead the people, you must learn how to follow them.” Just because you trust the Universe, life won’t get easier. On the contrary.Trust doesn’t pamper your ego. It totally obliterates it, which is the essence of the spiritual path.
Trust/surrender asks:
Are you willing to let go of who you think you are?
Are you willing to be humbled?
I was asked to release things I thought defined me. Status. Income. Career. Accomplishments. Control. Identity. External validation. In this process, stripped bare, I found me. The Universe handed me the raw, unfiltered mirror of who I actually was underneath the striving and the planning.
I had to learn to love the messy, awkward, not-so-polished version of me.Trust doesn’t coddle you. It strips you down and teaches you how to stand in your naked truth.
Trusting the Universe looks like taking the hard road, on purpose
We think that the ‘right path’ will be smooth. But sometimes, the most aligned track is the one that scares the hell out of you. Not because it’s wrong but because it’s asking for a version of you that hasn’t been born yet. It opens you. The Universe is like your midwife, assisting you with the birth of your saviour: That saviour is you.
You will have to:
Move forward without validation.
Choose purpose over comfort.
Make decisions that your family and loved ones don’t understand.
Let go of timelines and learn to live inside the unknown.
I thought trusting would feel like peace. But for a long time, it felt like standing barefoot on the edge of a cliff, waiting to jump, without a bungee rope, parachute, bridge, or wings.
But until you decide to jump, you won’t discover the miracle of your potential and possibility. And I promise you, it won’t be easy. But, hell, it will be worth it. As you jump, your wings will appear.
Trusting the Universe looks like looking back and saying: “Oh.”
The weirdest part about surrender is that you never realise it worked until after it worked. It’s subtle. Almost invisible.
But then you look back and realise:
That closed door protected you.
That ‘failure’ realigned you.
That silence was building your strength.
That season of loss cleared space for something real.
And suddenly, the chaos made sense. You didn’t control it. But you trusted the Universe amid the chaos.
The moment I knew I was trusting
It didn’t happen when I manifested something, or the plan came together. It happened when I stopped needing a plan at all.
When I stopped saying:
“I need this specific thing to happen.”
And started saying:
“Whatever happens, I’ll meet it with Grace.”
I stopped performing to please anyone, thinking if I journaled hard enough, prayed and meditated enough, that I’d unlock the treasure chest. I started being in partnership with it.
Like: “Hey, I’m here. I’ll keep showing up. Even when it hurts. Even when it’s slow. I’m not going anywhere but this.” That’s when things shifted. Not because external circumstances aligned. But because I shifted how I felt inside..And once I got comfortable with the unknown and the silence, the world outside of me changed. It matched my new energetic vibrations.
So, what does trust feel like?
Here’s the truth I never expected to learn:
Trust looks like detachment: Not from life, but from needing to control how it unfolds.
Trust looks like showing up: Even when the outcome is uncertain.
Trust looks like heartbreak: Usually, the old must break before the new can begin.
Trust looks like chaos, silence, confusion — until it doesn’t: And then, one day, everything clicks.
What to do right now (Because reading isn’t surrender)
Reading about trust isn’t the same as living it.
You want to live it? Try this:
1. Release the outcome: Stop gripping so tightly. Let the timeline go. Surrender.
2. Do the next aligned thing: Even if it’s small. Even if you’re scared.
3. Make peace with the unknown: Learn to breathe here, not in the imagined future.
4. Stop waiting for clarity to begin: Begin, and clarity will meet you there. Truly.
Trusting the Universe isn’t about belief. It’s about practice
You don’t wait to feel trust. You build it. Choice by choice. And you learn: The plan doesn’t always unfold as you imagined. But the Soul? It always gets exactly what it came for.
So, no — trusting the Universe didn’t look the way I thought it would. It looked like falling. Letting go. Rebuilding. And in the end, that was better than anything I could ever have planned. Your Higher Power was made in the image of God.
Let go. Breathe. Go on. The Universe is already catching you, even before you jump.
Let go. Breathe. Go on. The Universe is already catching you, even before you jump
What do the spiritual Masters say?
Ram Dass, the Harvard psychiatrist turned philosopher and spiritual teacher, said that surrendering was a path to inner freedom and peace. He believed that by surrendering and letting go of our attachments and desires, we will get to experience a deeper connection to our true Selves and to the Universe as a whole. Sounds spot on.
What did Alan Watts say? Well, he spoke about it being the letting go of the illusion of control. He would emphasise that the ego’s attempt to have control over life is futile and leads to suffering.
Eckhart Tolle wrote that “Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.”He continued “Until you practice surrender, the spiritual dimension is something you read about, talk about, get excited about, write books about, think about, believe in, or don’t…It makes no difference. Not until you surrender does it become a living reality in your life.”
What about Adi Da, the American spiritual leader and author? Well, Franklin (which was his real name) said something along the lines that surrendering involved a shift in one’s perspective, from self-centredness to self-transcendence. He would talk about the importance of ego-transcendence so that people could realise their true nature and see the non-duality and interconnectedness of all reality.
OK, what about Paramahansa Yogananda, the Indian-American Yogi? He used to compare surrendering to being like a river joining an ocean, as in, it’s like one Soul uniting with Universal consciousness. He said that by surrendering, people can transcend the limitations of their ego and experience a profound sense of peace, fulfilment, and unity with the divine.
What did the Buddha say about surrendering? Well, it’s a tad more than the more contemporary chaps from above. The Buddha would have spoken about things like letting go of attachments, desires, and preferences, the renunciation of cravings, trusting the dharma (path), and, living fully in the present moment. So, there are quite a few steps there but they all seem to make sense and the above protagonists all seem to be talking about an aspect of what the Buddha would have meant.
Surrender: The word that makes type-A Souls sweat
The etymology of ‘surrender’ comes from the Old French 'surrendre', meaning 'to give up, to deliver over.' But that’s just the envelope. Inside the letter, scribbled in sacred graffiti, is the real message: “Stop pretending you’re steering the Universe.” You are not.
In spiritual traditions across the world — from Zen’s “don’t know mind” to the Sufi’s annihilation of self (fana) to Christian teachings and prayer saying “Thy will be done” — surrender is not passive resignation. It’s fierce alignment with the infinite intelligence that knows what our limited individual brains cannot possibly compute. The Universe is infinitely more knowledgeable and powerful than our pale, fragile ego mind: Our Higher Power is omniscient. The Universe is pure energy and consciousness that we can tap into by surrendering. This gives us unconditional well-being. All of a sudden, everything is better: Relationships, career, and well-being.
Surrender, you see, is not the collapse of agency. It’s the liberation of it, from the cramped cabinet of your preferences into the cathedral of Divine orchestration.
Let go and let God
Let’s kill the myth: Surrender isn’t about giving up. It’s about giving in. You don’t become some limp spaghetti of a human. You become supple. Nimble. Free to bend like bamboo in a storm while your brittle, control-freak neighbours snap like dry twigs.
You don’t stop acting, you stop reacting, and start responding, from a place of stillness and intuition, which comes from increasing our conscious contact with our Higher Power. You don’t lose power, you lose the illusion of being the sole power source. You don’t fade, you unveil.
The metaphysics of ‘letting go’
Surrender is the same as ‘letting go.’ Here’s the spicy esoteric truth, surrender is not an act. It’s a recognition. You realise, at some unholy hour in your inner laboratory, that you were never in control to begin with. Your plans, your strategies, your defences, all cute attempts at organising infinity into a bullet journal.
Surrender is the moment the false centre, the ego, collapses, and the real Self emerges; not as a someone in charge, but as awareness itself. It is the transition from egoic governance to being moved by the Tao, the Dharma, the Flow, the Great Celestial dance that Ram Dass talked about.
Surrender is inevitable. Whether you do it voluntarily or through cosmic slapstick (failed plans and lost careers, relationship failures and heartbreaks, or existential identity crises), Life will pry your death grip off the steering wheel eventually. This is when the autopilot kicks in, like a Tesla at the ready.
What if surrender is the truest strength?
Ask yourself: What if ’letting go’ isn’t weakness, but strength that no longer needs to prove itself?
What if control is actually frozen fear, and surrender is liberating love?
What if surrender doesn’t mean giving your power away, but remembering that your power was never separate from the Whole?
These aren’t rhetorical questions. They’re koans: Paradoxical statements or questions used in Zen Buddhist to help break down logical thinking and foster intuitive understanding. Let them nibble on your overcooked beliefs and resulting thought processes like holy termites.
The paradox of power
Real surrender is not about being a doormat. It’s about becoming the doorway. The threshold through which Grace, intuition, abundance, and alignment walk into this world.
In Buddhism, surrender is understood not as annihilation but as integration. The ego is not killed, it is seen through, hugged tightly, and placed in the passenger seat. Like hugging your petrified inner child and telling them you love them, then strapping them in safely for the ride, ever-present in your heart. You let yourself become a sacred portal for divine Grace and miracles. You don’t destroy the “I” — you let it bow. And in bowing, you rise.
Surrender is an experiment in non-fiction
To surrender is to stop lying to your Self about what you’re not in control of, and to start telling the Truth about the nature of BEing. You become less of a manager, more of a metaphysician. Less a “make-it-happen” hustler, more a “watch-it-unfold” devotee.
But don’t get me wrong, surrender is not about being lazy. It’s about being in tune. It’s dancing instead of dragging your feet. It’s trusting the music enough to improvise.
You are no longer trying to be the river. You become the one who floats — alert, attuned, alive to every rock (obstacles and challenges), flowing around them, and ripple.
So how do you practice surrender?
Notice where you’re clenching — body, mind, emotions.
Ask: “What would letting go look like here?”
Feel: Not conceptually, but somatically. Where’s the knot? Can it loosen?
Trust: That what arises next, from silence and stillness, is not absence — but intuitive guidance.
And when doubt creeps in and whispers, “But what if I lose control?” You smile and respond, “Perfect. That’s where the magic starts.”
Who’s really surrendering, anyway?
The final twist of this whole wild ride? There is no-one to surrender.
The self that thinks it needs to “let go”, the ego, is itself an apparition, a trick of consciousness, a manager who forgot he was hired under false pretences, conditioned by our parents and by society.
When surrender ripens, there’s no longer even a “surrenderer.” Just this… stillness. Openness. This dance of life, playing out without resistance.
And so, dear reader, if you’re wondering whether to surrender… you’re already halfway there. The question itself is the unzipping of the armour. Now slow down, breathe. And drop the rest.
The Universe is teaching you to respond until you stop reacting
The Universe is testing you: Here’s how to pass…
Life is not a walk in the park. Sometimes, no matter what you do, obstacles keep popping up, and life throws you the same painful situations on repeat. But I believe these struggles aren’t punishments. They are lessons. The Universe isn’t cruel. It wants to see if you’re ready for what you asked for. It tests you to wake you up. The test is never about what’s happening to you. But how you respond to it. You are either evolving or repeating the same cycle of reacting. There is no in-between.
Most people fail these tests. Because they mistake them for bad luck, unfair struggles, or signs they should quit.
They ask for change but resist discomfort.
They pray for new opportunities but reject uncertainty.
They claim to want abundance but hold onto a scarcity and lack mindset.
So, how do you pass? Here is your ‘cheat’ sheet:
The Universe repeats the same lessons until you master them. The same challenges keep showing up in your life:
The same toxic relationships.
The same financial struggles.
The constant feelings of self-doubt.
It isn’t random. It’s a pattern you haven’t learned yet.
Think about a video game: If you fail a level, you don’t get to move forward. You keep facing the same challenge until you learn the right strategy to defeat it. The Universe operates the same way.
If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable people, the lesson might be self-worth — learning to stop settling for less.
If you keep facing financial instability, the lesson might be an abundance mindset — learning to change your relationship with money.
If you keep experiencing rejection, the lesson might be resilience — learning that rejection is redirection.
The Universe doesn’t punish you — it trains you. And if you refuse to learn, you will keep repeating the same struggle.
Identify the exact pattern that keeps repeating. Name it. Track it. Write it down. Ask:
Take a new approach. The key is changing your response, not reacting and repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.
When everything feels stuck, the Universe is waiting on you
You want speed. You get stillness.You want certainty. You get ambiguity.You want signs. You get silence. And in that silence, you have to decide:
Do I still believe in what I asked for, even when it’s invisible?
Will you hold your vision, even when there’s no evidence yet? Because if you can love something before it becomes real, you've already passed.
Before you quantum leap into a new reality, there is a pause where nothing moves. The void is a test of Faith.
Do not force movement: Instead, focus on inner work (Self-awareness, healing, and growth).
Ask your Self: Am I the version of me who can handle what I asked for?
Trust that what's meant for you is already coming: It's waiting for the perfect moment.
If no opportunities appear, do not chase them. Instead, use this time to refine your skills and mindset, looking inwards and doing the work, so that when the door finally opens, you're ready.
When everything falls apart, a breakthrough is coming
Most people think breakdowns are the end.
In reality, they are the beginning. Your old life had to dissolve completely before your new one can emerge. Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.
That’s why:
The job you depended on disappears.
The relationship you thought was forever ends.
The path you were following closes.
You don’t have to feel grateful for the grief or pretend the pain makes sense yet. Just don’t confuse loss with regression.
It feels like destruction, when it's reinvention. Your next life can’t begin until your current one lets go of you.
The Universe never takes things away but clears space for something greater. Most people fail this test because they panic and try to rebuild the old life instead of stepping into the unknown.
Stop clinging to what is falling apart. Let it go.
Ask: "What identity, belief, attachment, or preference must I release to step into what's next?"
Instead of fixing the past, focus on what is trying to emerge through surrender.
If your dream job falls through, it might be because you were meant for something much bigger, but first, you had to be forced out of the comfort of the old path. You can’t negotiate with the Universe. Carl Jung, the greatest psychiatrist of all time, who was also a spiritual Master, believed in the power of dreams. I dream every night about my former life. I believe that this is the process of surrender.
When you say you want something, everything misaligned with it must fall away, It's the cost of real change.
If you’re afraid to leap, the Universe will push you
The Universe knows you’re ready before you do. Like the staff on a bungee jump who encourage you to jump.
That’s why it forces you into discomfort.
You lose a job or career before you’re ready to leave.
You get a job before you are ready to move to a new city.
A relationship ends before you feel prepared to be alone.
I wouldn’t call it bad luck but acceleration. The Universe knows you won't leave your comfort zone on your own, so it gives you a little push.
A bird when being nudged out of the nest panics at first, but the moment it starts falling, it realises it can fly.
Stop resisting change. Trust that you’re more capable than you think.
Instead of saying, “I’m not ready,” say, “I’m being prepared for something bigger.”
Lean into uncertainty with courage, not fear.
When nothing makes sense, trust the process
There will be moments in life where nothing makes sense. You won’t see the bigger picture. You won’t understand why things happen the way they are. That's because you're in the middle of the story, not the end. Think of it like reading a book. In Chapter 5, the main character might feel lost, broken, and confused. But if they stopped reading there, they’d never see the happy ending in Chapter 10.
Life works the same way. Just because you don't understand the lesson yet doesn't mean there isn't one.
Surrender to the unknown. Let life unfold without needing the answers.
Trust that clarity will come in time.
Instead of forcing meaning, accept the present moment and keep moving forward.
If life feels chaotic, remind your Self, the best stories always have plot twists before the happy ending.
Don’t beg for courage. Ask for courage. Clarity comes after the leap, not before.
Stay grounded in your why. The test will make you forget. Remember your Truth.
Get comfortable being misunderstood: Passing the test sometimes means disappointing other people to stay true to your Self.
Let the old die with Grace. Don’t rush to resurrect what the Universe buried. Trust the ending leads to a new beginning.
Choose integrity over urgency. The test will come with shortcuts. Flashy offers. Quick wins, Opportunities that look good on paper but don't sit right in your Soul. Ditch them.
Every time you choose what’s right over what’s easy, you shift your frequency.
The Universe doesn't reward appearances. It responds to your energy. And energy is everything.
The spiritual path and Enlightenment
Your psychology, your psyche, also known as your mind, is the sum of your learned experiences. This created and conditioned your ego to have preferences: Either to get what you want or to not get what you don’t want.
The beginning of the ‘Third Chinese Patriarch’ of Zen, written by Sengstan Hsin Hsin Ming, blending together Buddhist and Taoist teachings, reads:
“The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and Heaven and Earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the Truth then hold no opinion for or against. The struggle of what one likes and what one dislikes is the disease of the mind.”
The mind is the ego. The self with a small ’s.’ As opposed to the real Self, the Soul. The cause of all suffering is desire, which is the same as preference. If you are able to stop being distracted by your preferences then you are Enlightened. This is the process of continuous, repeated acceptance and surrender, which are the absolute key components of the 12 steps. Reality is that which has already happened. You can’t change it so you may as well not have any preferences about it being a certain way. You can practice surrender and acceptance every minute of every day from the moment you wake up, by not having any preference when anything happens. Be here now, remain present, and work on not having any preferences and thus knowing that you can handle reality.
The Universe is upgrading you
If challenges keep repeating, if life feels stagnant, if everything falls apart, don't resist it. Every test is an invitation to step into a higher version of your Self.
Your struggles are not here to break you. They are here to make you unbreakable.
The question is not “Why is this happening?” but “Who is this shaping me to become?” And the answer? The most powerful version of your Self. And it will be better than anything you could have imagined.
Namaste.
Olly
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