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How to Stay Sane In a Mad World

Updated: Jan 25

One of the challenges of doing inner work, even though pretty much everyone needs to do it, is that you become increasingly well psychologically, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually, as you progress along your healing path, yet those that are not doing the inner work continue to judge you, criticise you, and seek to condemn you. We are surrounded with negativity, instead of possibility. People create their own inner hell, and then blame you for them taking themselves there. This is true of both individuals and institutions. Those that most need to do the inner work judge you the most. This is called projection.


DH Lawrence wrote "The world of men is dreaming, it has gone mad in its sleep, and a snake is strangling it, but it can't wake up.." The more people are lost in dysfunction and dis-ease, the more they seek to project, as a way of concealing their own shortcomings that they are not prepared to face. People are dishonest in the way that they lie. Projection occurs when we attribute an element of our personality or way of being, which resides in our unconscious, to another person. It accounts for most interpersonal conflict. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, who popularised the term in the mid-1890s, believed projection to be a defence mechanism used to avoid the anxiety that is provoked when one is forced to face up to our faults, desires, passions, transgressions, weaknesses, and destructive tendencies. Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychologist, philosopher and spiritual teacher, said that "Projection is one of the commonest psychic phenomena... Everything that is unconscious in ourselves we discover in our neighbour, and we treat him accordingly." If you are not conscious of this, this can knock you off your own healing path. Healing involves becoming vulnerable as part of your journey, but, as Mahatma Gandhi said "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." Really it should be a reminder to hold fast, and that we can not change others: We can only work on ourselves. It is up to everyone to clean up their own side of the street. As Gandhi wrote “When you are right, you have no need to be angry. When you are wrong, you have no right to be angry… The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong…An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.” There is no winner in the blame game and it really isn't a game. As you heal, you realise that forgiving and letting go of the past will do you and the people in your world a great service. We are all human beings and we all suffer from the human condition. When you realise that, it is the first step to compassion and self-compassion. Who are you to judge?


Everyone is using projection as a way of not looking inwards. For example if you have feelings of inadequacy you project them onto others. If you have feelings of shame you project them onto others: Etc. etc. It’s a way of saying "I’m okay but you are not"; when really the first step should be "I’m not okay". There is no reason to label anyone else as not okay.


I have found that, paradoxically, it is those that are doing the least inner work and need to the most, that project more than anyone. Inner work is painful and difficult and it's easy to shy away from but it's the greatest gift that you can give to your Self and to the world.


The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life.


It is our violence, hidden and denied as our shadow that leads to interpersonal drama, all conflict and war. The violence of the world is in each of us: J. Krishnamurti wrote “Inside you is the cause of every war. It is your violence, hidden and denied, that leads to wars of every kind, whether it is war inside your home, against others in society, or between nations.”


"Forgive them, for they know not what they do" as Jesus said. Holding resentment is like drinking a bottle of poison meant for another. You cannot help anyone who doesn't want to change, and it is not your responsibility to please them, fix them, or save them: In reality you can't. Be open and honest as their narrative is false and created to hide their own perceived shortcomings and lack of dedication to their own healing.


Dr Gabor Maté wrote "Strong convictions do not necessarily signal a powerful sense of self: Very often quite the opposite. Intensely held beliefs may be no more than a person’s unconscious effort to build a sense of self to fill what, underneath, is experienced as a vacuum." Marianne Williamson wrote of how we should respond to such hatred “Our power to override their destructive intensity lies in our ability to love with as much conviction as they show in hate. Hating with conviction, they draw forth more hatred; when we love with greater conviction, we will draw forth more love.” We are part of the whole. There is no need to label anyone as right or wrong as a result of our own fears. By having compassion for toxic people, one is moving from judgement to understanding: In other words compassion. The healing path is a journey from perceiving the world through the lens of fear to perceiving the world through the eyes of love. Don't let those stuck in fear convince you otherwise. Forgive and forget.


The only thing we can do is to ignore the judgement of others, not be distracted by them, and continue to work on our selves. When you heal you reach a point where the only validation that matters is your own. These steps are an essential foundation to healing. It’s important to remember that we are all human and are prone to make mistakes. That’s part of being human, if fact that defines us as human beings. Holding people to unreasonable standards (because you subconsciously hold your self to them through fear) will only create more unnecessary conflicts in your world and negativity within you. 


"To stay sane in a mad world is the real victory" Marty Rubin


Gandhi said “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win… I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others... Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.” It is the human condition to love, then seek to destroy, then to love again. Why do we insist on this ridiculous not-so-merry-go-round?


The clue to people not having done the inner work is how much they act from their ego, which is their terrified inner child pretending to be running their 'adult' lives. This is marked by seeking conflict, blaming, anger, playing the 'victim', and finger-pointing. When one points a finger, three are pointing back at our selves.


When one points a finger, three are pointing back at our selves


Don't react with fear. Lean away, breathe, and meditate. Respond, if necessary, with clarity and truth. Don't get up from the seat of your soul Don’t be hard on your self. Others are trying enough. Forgive your Self even if others project onto you because they can not forgive themselves. It is not your job to fix anyone else. In any case, no one can fix anyone else. Realise that 'all is well' and don't be distracted by anyone or any thing from your own journey to peace, love, presence, authenticity, compassion, and joy. Remember who you are and love your Self.


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



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Hello,

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