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Beyond Survival: Practising Self-Love

Updated: Jan 28

This article is based on the teachings of ‘The Big Red Book’ from the ACA Fellowship (Adult Children of Alcoholics/ Dysfunctional Families). One of the most important chapters in the book is about moving from living in survival mode into practising self-love.


For my previous article on self-love click on the call to action button:



Self-love


Introduction

By studying ‘The Big Red Book’ we learn many things that are helpful and spiritual. We have a better understanding of what happened to us as children and why we reacted to life the way we did. We have faced our darkest moments and emerged with a firm grip on reality.


Never before in the history of Twelve Step programs has a fellowship as ACA brought together such a diverse group of people in recovery. The term 'adult child' is used to describe adults who grew up in alcoholic and dysfunctional homes and who exhibit identifiable traits that reveal past neglect and abuse. These ACA members have the trademark presence of abuse, shame, and abandonment found in alcoholic or dysfunctional homes. Over the years, ACA has evolved into an established programme that offers pertinent resources of recovery for adult children from all walks of life across the world. ACA is an international fellowship with around 1,000 meetings around the world. Adult children are committed to halting the generational nature of family dysfunction for the greater good of the world. We hope to relieve the suffering brought on by neglectful and abusive homes. We want to join society with our full attention toward making a difference with the help of a Higher Power. ACA's experience has shown that adult children who attend our meetings, work the Twelve Steps, and find a Higher Power, experience astonishing improvement in body, mind, and spirit. They give the gift of breaking the chain of inheritance of childhood trauma and dysfunctional families. Ours is one of the few Twelve Step fellowships that embraces the difficult task of trauma work, which can often lead to an exciting journey to the Inner Child or True Self. Along with sponsorship, ACA encourages formal therapy to help the adult child accomplish the greatest level of emotional healing. Our fellowship includes members who have been diagnosed with addictions, depression, panic disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, and various dissociative states. As adult children in recovery, we understand dissociation, codependence, and compulsion like few others. Many of our members have been literally fetched back from the gates of metaphorical Hell by this simple but spiritual programme known as ACA. I am delighted to be part of this fellowship.


Adult children of all types identify with one another at the level of abandonment, shame, and abuse like no other group of people in the world.


By reading and studying the ACA Big Red Book, we realise there is a way out of family dysfunction and childhood trauma. We know we are survivors, but we realise we can move beyond mere survival. We can live with self-love and the confidence that we can survive our feelings. We know we can ask for help and accept it. We also realise we can bring our True Self rather than a codependent self to relationships. We have much to offer.


The ACA fellowship was founded in 1978. The 14 traits of an 'adult child' have been described as 'The Laundry List.' When read aloud at an ACA meeting, 'The Laundry List' produces an immediate sense of curiosity and identification that resonates within the adult child.



These are the 14 traits of adult children:




If this article resonates with you, then please do check out the ACA UK Fellowship via their website:


 

By moving beyond survival, we realise that lost dreams or wishes can re-emerge. We had internalised many aspects of our parents’ thinking and behaving. We had no real identity or dreams separate from them. Even if we had moved far away, our parents and their dysfunction still lived inside us. By working the ACA program we began the process of ‘externalising our parents’ so to speak. We are moving them out of our thinking and behaving so we can find our own identity. Through ACA, we get to say who we are instead of a dysfunctional relative saying who we are not.


Through ACA, some of us realise we had career ‘dreams’ that were not ours. They were dreams that were merely an extension of our family's control. These dreams matched our parents’ wishes. We may have become professionals in a given field when our hearts were in the fine arts profession or another interest. Many of us did well in our professions and found a measure of contentment; however, we occasionally remember what we gave up to please our family. We can now pursue a new chapter in our lives if we choose to do so.


While some of us will revisit our dreams, there are others who are confused by such talk. We do not relate to dreams because we never truly developed them as children. We were too focused on survival. We learned to keep our thoughts and desires close to our hearts. We knew from experience that we could be criticised or discouraged from going after something we liked. We realise that most of our thoughts and actions were aimed at pleasing the adults in our lives. Through recovery, we realise we get to form a dream perhaps for the first time. This is new and exciting. We are thrilled that we actually get to choose something that we like to do without thinking about how we will be judged. This is the path for those willing to embrace the ACA way of life and the freedom it offers. This can be exhilarating, yet frightening, for some. To be given a chance to craft our own identity seems daunting, but we can do it. Through ACA, we no longer fear success or failure. We move beyond mere survival. We surrender, which means we are willing to do whatever it takes to recover and dream. This is the sure path that many ACA members have taken into a new way of life with feelings, trust, and spiritual awareness. Our lives won't be perfect or free of challenges, but we embrace recovery. Adding dreams to our lives is a key spiritual element in maintaining emotional sobriety.


Having said all of this, some people will struggle with making progress in their lives. This is only natural since we are attempting something that takes effort, courage, and a willingness to let a Higher Power into our lives. Rebuilding, or building, our lives takes time. It takes patience and steady focus. People who struggle with the ACA program usually have neglected honest Step work. Their meeting attendance may be inconsistent. They may focus on service work or counselling at the expense of an honest admission of Step One powerlessness and unmanageability. These ACA members find it difficult to ask for help or accept it once it is offered. There are other ACA members who seem to nibble at the edges of ACA without embracing the program. They seem to have settled for a half serving of recovery. They may have attended ACA for years without committing to a home group or passing on their recovery by sponsoring someone new. They cannot seem to give back what was freely given to them, so they remain hungry. These members seem to work their own program which has little resemblance to the ACA program. They survive, but they are usually unhappy or feel stuck. For whatever reason, some of us may find ourselves feeling hopeless after years in the program. Some of us can inwardly blame ourselves for not doing better. When this happens, we begin to judge our insides by the outsides of others who seem to have it all together. We look at how well others seem to be doing and find fault in ourselves. Even if we have made progress in ACA and had moments of joy, some of us can find ourselves struggling on a daily basis. We do not feel good about ourselves, but we are going through the motions of acting okay. We may be speaking program lingo, but we are not talking about what truly bothers us. We may have employment problems, relationship troubles, or health complications. Most adult children do until they engage fully with the program. We find ourselves talking less in meetings or feeling different. When this occurs, we usually have been living in survival mode without wanting to admit it. We forget that there is another way to live beyond survival. When we think about it, we realise we do not trust ACA or a Higher Power to truly be there for us. We have no dreams or wishes that we can call our own. We may have stopped being loyal to our dysfunctional family, but we have not taken the crucial step of walking toward our own dreams or desires. Many of us are still projecting our abandoning parents onto others or ACA. We may have changed some of our most damaging thoughts and behaviours, but we still rely on some of the worst ones.

Under these conditions, we may tire of working the program. It seems like too much, and we have heard it all before. We may still attend meetings, but we cannot seem to hear what we need to hear. We can secretly become critical of others and ourselves. Without knowing it, we may be nearing a crossroads in our program. We feel alone and perhaps misunderstood. If we can recognise what we are doing, we pray and pray hard. We ask our Higher Power to show up in our lives. We must remember that a loving God has not brought us this far to drop us now. We haven’t come this far to only come this far. The ACA way of life works. We can ask for help and trust ourselves to be okay. If we have learned anything in ACA, we have learned that we can live beyond mere survival. We do not have to live alone with our thoughts or vulnerabilities as we did as children. It is regretful to say that some ACA members have died by failing to reach out for help after finding the ACA program. These adult children are perhaps the most troubling to think about. We may have attended meetings with a person who seemingly worked a meaningful ACA program only to take his own life. Sometimes there might have been a warning. At other times there was not. We are naturally disturbed by these events. We may even be angry with our Higher Power for allowing such a thing to occur.'


An 'adult child' means that we respond to adult interactions with the fear and self-doubt learned as children.



This undercurrent of hidden fear can sabotage our choices and relationships. We appear outwardly confident while living with a constant question of our worth. In ACA, we believe the experiences of growing up in a dysfunctional family affect us as adults. Many of us have had successful careers but still felt disconnected from life. We lived in calamity mixed with self-harm and self-hate. We felt like we were on the outside looking in. Whatever our path, we found no lasting help until we found ACA.


There are many reasons why these things above occur. We do not claim to know why people would choose to stop living. Some of us have thought about it ourselves at times, but we made the decision to live. We chose life and found life through ACA principles and fellowship.

 

Self-Love

It has been said that you cannot give away what you do not have. It has also been said that you cannot love another person until you learn to love yourself. We believe these declarations of wisdom are the basis for an ACA axiom: You cannot love another person until you love yourself and claim that love with belief and consistent action. We have seen many people speak words of self-love and affirmation while practicing something else. Self-love is never harmful or selfish. The life beyond survival is the life of self-love, but lack of self-love was our dilemma. How can an adult child who is taught from the earliest years to abandon himself truly love from the inside out? We have an answer grounded in ACA experience: The love is there and God given. The love has always been there. We need a power to reawaken this love from within. The main focus of this book is to help you find a power greater than yourself to transport you from mere survival to self-love. We believe that loving one's self is the only way we can truly recognise God because God is love. Learning to love ourselves and connect with our Higher Power addresses our original cause of self-hate or self-abandonment. Since childhood we have carried a wound created by our primary relationship with our dysfunctional parents or family. We were ruptured emotionally and spiritually as children. To survive, we lived by various traits (known in ACA as ‘The Laundry List’) which reject self-love and God.




Driven by fear, we sought an unending number of relationships, schemes, and external validation addictions in an effort to connect with someone who would fix us or let us fix them. We tried so very hard, but it never worked. We cannot find love or the Higher Power in someone else. It must begin with us.


We are protected by a Higher Power as we make this inward journey. We will not be abandoned or judged even if we think we cannot do it right. A loving Higher Power waits for us to accept that we are lovable regardless of what we think or do. This is Grace.


‘The Laundry List’ survival traits describes a false self (the ego) that can only accomplish self-hate and self-harm. There is no self-acceptance in the false self.


Before ACA, most of us lived in self-doubt or self-condemnation, listening to our inner critic without realising it. Adult children of all dysfunctional family types find themselves with a common form of self-hate or self-abandonment.


We have learned that we could change if we could admit that we had bottomed out, that we were powerless, and became willing to work the ACA programme. But first we had to become willing to accept help. We learned that a Higher Power was not a God made up of the attributes of our parents. We were asked to keep an open mind about a Higher Power. We learned that ACA is a spiritual and not religious program.


We embraced the healing power of the Twelve Steps. We learned about the principles of the Steps. We learned about powerlessness, willingness, surrender, and self-forgiveness.

We were told that life was more than survival, but we had to release control and fear. The ACA Steps gave us a foundation to gain a full remembrance of our past and to focus on ourselves. We learned we could be free from self-harm and self-abandonment.


We were introduced to a spiritual awakening that lets us know God is more than a theory. Our Higher Power is real to us.


We then opened a channel to the Inner Child and learned about the true connection to God as we understand God. We also were introduced to the notion of becoming our own Loving Parent. Some of us struggled with this concept until we realised that we had lived our lives with a critical inner parent, so why not begin a relationship with a Loving Parent from within?

Click here for my article on ‘Reparenting Your Self’:

 


With the Twelve Steps and a Loving Parent inside we took a giant leap away from a life of mere survival and toward a life of self-love. But what is self-love and why is it so important to adult children? Self-love is an indispensable spiritual element of the ACA programme. Self-love enables the adult child to back-fill the love or nurturing we did not get as children. By loving ourselves, we stop the negative self-talk. We confront the negative inner parent. We pay attention to our feelings, and we remove ourselves from abusive or neglectful situations as well. We stop tolerating toxicity. We realise we can walk away from the craziness that once confused us and trapped us.


Self-love gives us a new pair of glasses. We can recognise abuse and when we are settling for unfulfilling relationships. Unhealthy behaviour is no longer "normal" to us. We recognise it and choose another path. We have stopped willingly harming ourselves and self-sabotaging.


We have learned there can be many levels of self-love. On one level, self-love is a simple matter of reminding ourselves that we have inherent worth. On another level, we rely on self-love to remind us that God, as we understand God, loves us always.


This True Parent loves us as we stumble, right ourselves, stumble again, and right ourselves again. The True Parent loves us as we learn to love ourselves. Self-love helps us find our true place in the world. We stop doubting ourselves. We step back from fear and embrace life.

We cannot address the issue of self-love without examining some of the confusion surrounding this important spiritual principle. On one side, there are those who argue that self-love always leads to the slippery slope of Narcissism. In this line of thinking, self-love is cast as self-absorption. These critics usually cannot define self-love because they are too absorbed in saying what it is not. They liken self-love to Narcissus, the character of Greek mythology who "fell in love" with his own image.


Dreams, hopes, and desires represent a key step in separating from the family. We separate from our unhealthy family on two levels. We can physically separate by moving away from them, setting healthy boundaries, or by limiting contact. There is an internal separation that must occur as well for us to live our own lives beyond survival. Without this internal separation, we can continue to struggle with the critical inner parent. We can be vulnerable to the chaos that still goes on in our families.


With help, we can throw off or expel our internalised dependence. Forming our own dreams and healthy relationships is a sign of internal separation. Other signs include a willingness to reparent ourselves with ACA principles. Through reparenting we go inside ourselves and take an inventory of what must go and what can stay.


Separation does not mean we are abandoning our family. It means we will have a separate identity. We will know where our feelings end and their feelings begin. We give up our mistaken childhood belief that we can fix or heal our family. Through ACA, we arrive at a place of neutrality with our family. We are no longer affected by their dysfunctional behaviour. We do not feel compelled to join their crises or endless arguments. We can love them while leaving them to their own choices and decisions.


With the new freedom we find in ACA, many of us remember dreams from our childhood or teen years. We thought we had forgotten these dreams, but our Inner Child remembers. Some of us wanted to be a pilot, a teacher, an artist, or a professional dancer. Others wanted to be a fashion designer or runway model.  Some of us wanted to be writers. Other adult children wanted to travel to faraway places or sail the ocean with only a compass to guide them. We had many wishes that we thought we had forgotten, but they are there. They are worth revisiting.


Transfixed by the pool, gazing at himself, Narcissus dies emotionally and physically due to his inability to connect with another person or God. This is not self-love.


Narcissism and self-love often get linked together, but these two concepts could not be more different. One is self-absorption. While the other is self-awareness. The person who practices true self-love cannot be Narcissistic. The practicing Narcissist can never know self-love.


There are some sincere, religious people who think that self-love diminishes the authority of God. They believe it elevates the human side of the person while lowering the Almighty. These well-meaning people stand ready to correct any talk of self-love or self-worth. They fear that selfishness or unclean motives can rule the person and society. This attitude is akin to defining self-love wrongly as Narcissism.


We also have seen thoughtful people who confuse self-love and self-esteem. This confusion represents a segment of the self-esteem movement that seems to place too much emphasis on affirmations and positive self-talk while attempting to neutralise anything negative in a person's life. Under this model of self-esteem, the person experiencing failure or challenge is encouraged to minimise any uncomfortable feelings associated with an event. This is all noble and kind, but a key element of building true self-esteem is left out in some cases. Feelings of discomfort, which can come with failing or being challenged, are not always supported in a patient manner. Learning to experience painful feelings is just as important to building self-esteem as being encouraged to believe in one's self. In some situations, a person is talked out of the discomfort through affirmations and encouragement. The affirmations sound good and loving, but they lose their weight when overused. At some point, the encouragement has the opposite effect and undercuts a person's motivation to try harder after doing poorly on a task. Well-meaning friends attempt to "fix" the person with affirmations when they should just listen. The value of sitting with uncomfortable feelings can be lost or unwittingly pushed aside by supportive friends. Consequently, you can be left with a person who can talk about self-love or self-esteem but has difficulty facing true adversity. The person may not know how to ask for help or accept it. This type of self-esteem building is a form of enabling with window dressing according to the ACA view.

We have nothing against self-esteem that balances affirmation with meaningful challenges and the ability to listen to people rather than attempting to fix them with diluted praise. Affirmations are an important part of ACA recovery, but they must be balanced with active listening. We must not use affirmations in an attempt to "fix" someone or ourselves.

Self-love as we understand it does not eliminate pain or the need to try harder in some circumstances. ACA recovery is challenging, but the rewards are immense. We must put forth effort and feel the uncomfortable feelings that might come. At the same time, the goal is self-love and knowing that we are good enough just the way we are. This is an ACA paradox. We do not have to earn self-love, but there is effort in the process of claiming it.

Self-love as we know it offers more than mere self-esteem. There is much more. There is self-love that is expressed as unconditional love. In this realm, self-love illuminates our perceptions, and we view ourselves and others in a new dimension. We recognise a spectrum that transcends language and trauma. We recognise the light in ourselves and others. We realise that everyone has a heart beat. Everyone counts and has spiritual gifts.

We believe that self-love is essential for the adult child who is subjected to a love deficit. This love deficit condemns us to an existence of addiction, codependence, or seeking some other outward source to heal an inward feeling of being unwanted or defective.


The key to gaining self-love is similar to obtaining other measures of spiritual growth in ACA. We encourage adult Steps, going to meetings, and changing destructive behaviour. The realisation of self-love seems to come after we have done the recovery work and then reflected upon our changed thoughts. We know we are on the path of self-love when we avoid acting on self-destructive behaviour that guarantees isolation in our lives.

With self-love, new possibilities arise in every aspect of our recovery program. We see that ACA is not a selfish program. We see ACA's great potential for helping suffering adult children. We have come to believe in ACA and its message on a deeper level.

Additionally, self-love brings deeper meaning to the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and to sponsorship. With self-love we act on our belief that we have something to offer our ACA support group and others. We are motivated to get out of ourselves and to be of service to others. We balance our journey inward to self-love with an outward commitment to become involved in society in a productive manner. We give back what has been given to us freely in ACA. We go outward to help others by going inward to help ourselves.


With self-love, we can also consider the usefulness or value of all things. For instance, we can see the value of mistakes. Our Step work thus far has revealed that we are not mistakes, although we make mistakes. We learned this in Step Six as we worked on the removal of ineffective behaviours. With self-love and patience, we can find the value in our mistakes. We learn from our mistakes rather than condemning ourselves for them.


With self-love, we can also see the value of healthy shame. Healthy shame is a new concept for us since most of us have been toxically shamed by our dysfunctional families. Others have been shamed by perfectionistic goals that we could never reach. We were judged as failures for not being perfect or for not trying hard enough. Unhealthy shame is near the core of the adult child wound. We feel deeply flawed as a person due to this type of shame. Dealing with toxic shame takes courage, patience, and a Higher Power. Healthy shame is another matter. Healthy shame exists when we recognise a wrong we have done, and we want to make it right with ourselves and with the person we have harmed. For example, when we gossip about someone, spreading rumours or passing on hurtful information, we should feel healthy shame. We have wilfully harmed someone by passing along sensitive information, even if the information was true. We should feel healthy shame because we know what it was like as children and teens to be gossiped about. We know how painful it is to be labelled or to be called names. We should never want to harm another person in this manner, but we do with gossip and rumours.


In addition to Step work, an effective way to cultivate self-love involves journaling and "mirror work." Wise sponsors or counsellors will often encourage an adult child to begin each day by staring at one's self in the mirror while repeating a simple affirmation such as: "I love myself," or "I love you." Unlike Narcissus who is self-absorbed by his image, the adult child can feel revolted or uncomfortable by gazing at his own image. Indeed, many adult children say they feel great discomfort or embarrassment while repeating an affirmation while looking into a mirror. The critical inner voice can use these moments to shame us. Looking into one's own eyes seems to be extremely difficult for many adult children. The reasons are not hard to determine. We learned a lot about who we were through eye contact with our parents. If the adults in our lives used harsh facial expressions to shame us or discipline us, we learned to avoid eye contact with them and then with ourselves. We learned to avoid looks of disappointment, disgust, or anger that usually came with some kind of shaming statement. We have seen adult children come to our fellowship who have removed all mirrors from their homes and who have avoided eye contact for years. It has been said, "the eyes are the windows to the soul.' We agree. For those who do the mirror work consistently, it pays off remarkably well in self-acceptance.


Additionally, mirror work can expose any unfinished business we have with body shame. Body shame is not reserved for our weight or shape. Because of our upbringing, many of us are uncomfortable with our foreheads, eyes, and noses. Our facial features have been shamed or belittled by our family or others. Even some strikingly handsome adult children cannot see their natural good looks due to the love deficit and shame within. Meanwhile, other adult children are ashamed to hear their own voices because of critical parenting or neglect. Voice-shame is common among us because we were not allowed to develop a voice or identity as children. For some of us, hearing our own voice as we share in an ACA meeting can create extreme self-consciousness. We can feel our heart racing and our breathing becoming more difficult as we talk. For many of us, talking in an ACA meeting is the first time we have expressed our views and thoughts to another person. Talking openly without cross talk is new and frightening, but it represents a true step toward finding our voice in ACA. We realise we do not have to sound refined or smooth. We can speak and be heard. With our traumatic and neglectful upbringing, we see mirror work as an effective tool for realising self-acceptance. The acceptance can lead to claiming and practicing self-love in all our affairs. We do not see much danger of an adult child loving himself or herself too much. We do not fear that adult children will wander into Narcissism. We usually do not linger at mirrors.


We do caution our members about false self-love. This can exist when a person proclaims loving one's self while continuing to act out with destructive behaviours. In this scenario, the person has learned the language of self-love but fails to take honest steps to move away from self-hating behaviour. Even this kind of self-deception responds well to honesty and a willingness to do the work to change.


At the same time, we can all have moments when we drift into an attitude of survival no matter how hard we try to avoid it. We would not be normal if we did not. And certainly moments of survival behaviour will not cause us to do something drastic to ourselves. Through ACA, we realise that we have come too far and worked too hard to live with tension or hypervigilance. We can love ourselves and trust God as we understand God to show us the way. We can find serenity in ACA. We realise we can trust ourselves, ACA, and God.


The ACA Promises

The ACA Promises represent some of the rewards that we can expect from ACA and self-love. Within the Twelve Promises is the work of making healthier choices, setting boundaries, and discovering our real identities. There is also intimacy and feeling peaceful. We learn to not fear success. The Promises represent a balance of action, feeling, and BEing. This is the spiritual material that self-love is made from.


If we have been sincere about our recovery to this point we will have experienced many of these Promises already. For example, many of us began discovering our real identities at our first ACA meeting. This is the first Promise. We have learned to fear people less and how to set boundaries as Promises three and nine state. There is no time line on when we will experience


The ACA Promises are true. The Promises are:


1. We will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves.

2. Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis.

3. Fear of authority figures and the need to "people- please" will leave us.

4. Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us.

5. As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths and become more tolerant of weaknesses.

6. We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure.

7. We will learn how to play and have fun in our lives.

8 We will choose to love people who can love and be responsible for themselves.

9. Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier

for us to set.

10. Fear of failure and success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices.

11. With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviours.

12. Gradually, with our Higher Power's help, we will learn to expect the best and get it.

 

Mirror Exercises

For these exercises, find a quiet place with a full-length mirror or a mirror large enough to show your face and shoulders.


The First Exercise is known as silent mirror work. In this exercise, the person stares at his or her image in the mirror and remains silent while noticing any feelings or thoughts. The person looks at his or her hair, forehead, lips, throat, chin, and so on. With a notepad nearby, the person writes down any feelings, thoughts, or words that might arise. Also notice posture, breathing, and the location of your hands. The way that we look at ourselves and carry ourselves tells us a lot about how we view ourselves. The final part of the exercise involves looking into one's own eyes for 60 seconds or more and then writing down any thoughts or feelings that arise as well. Repeat the silent mirror exercise for at least seven days and share your writing with a sponsor or ACA friend.


The Second Exercise involves looking into your eyes in a mirror and repeating an affirmation. The affirmation can be: "I love you, (vour name). I am a human being. I am a good person. I am here for me. There are other affirmations. You can add your own. Do this exercise for seven days and write down any thoughts or feelings that arise. Share your thoughts and feelings with your sponsor or ACA group. You can also tape the affirmations to the mirror and read them in between exercises. You might also combine the two exercises and look into the mirror before repeating an affirmation. Write down thoughts, feelings, or words that come to mind as you work this exercise for several days.


Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you: Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.


George Bernard Shaw wrote that “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Are you ready to change your mind?


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



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Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


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