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What Does Coaching With Me Look Like?

Updated: Apr 4

Not everyone has had coaching before. This article is about what coaching looks like with me. This is not just any old coaching, it’s Deep Coaching and Transformative Life Coaching. I have walked the path that you are on and I am a fully certified Transformative Life Coach. I coach men. For my guide to Transformative Life Coaching click here:



Me









We are about to embark on a very real Hero's Journey together.




The four C's

We will have four types of phone call before you start your journey, which I call the 'four C's, which will be in the order':

  1. Chemistry

  2. Connection

  3. Creation/Coaching experience

  4. Contract


I am here to serve you. I am not here for me. This is not about me.


All conversations will be on the phone, on Zoom, or in person (I am based in London), as you prefer.


In our chemistry call we will see if I am the right fit for you, and if you are the right fit for me. There is no charge for this call.


In our connection call I will invite you to experience coaching if you so wish. There is no charge for this call. This is also known as the 'invitation'.


In our creation/coaching experience call you will experience what it is like to be coached by me. There is no charge for this call.


In our contract (proposal) we will discuss, in a separate session to coaching, what you would like to create and over what period. We will discuss what is possible for your life and what you want to achieve. This is a possibility conversation, where I will help you to create an inspiring vision. We will also discuss what your limiting beliefs are and what is holding you back from the life that you want to live: What has been getting in the way of you not getting what you want? What is your elevated infinite possibility? What experience of life could you not get by your Self? Where you are at and where we could take you. I will invite you to be authentic, open, honest, and vulnerable, to the extent that you feel comfortable. After that it's all about trust (faith in your Self and in me). What is your commitment to this process and are you prepared to do this now? We will feel into your readiness in this conversation. We will make an agreement. What would you like to create and over what period? By the end of this session you will have an experience and idea of working together and insight into what we'd create together that would make a meaningful difference to you. We will settle on a contract in a final further separate conversation and the coaching will then commence.


Analysis

Here are ten starting points that we may explore from your viewpoint:

 2. Cognitive style and thinking patterns – Analyse how I solve problems, approach uncertainty, handle information, and whether I lean toward logic, intuition, systems-thinking, pattern recognition, or emotional reasoning.

 3. Emotional blueprint – What emotions dominate my inner landscape? How do I handle pressure, rejection, vulnerability, connection, success, or failure? What emotional blind spots might I have?

 4. Strengths and superpowers – Identify the traits, tendencies, and capacities that give me an edge. Go beyond obvious strengths and find the unusual, high-leverage traits that most people overlook.

 5. Weaknesses and psychological fault lines – Expose the hidden vulnerabilities, recurring self-sabotage patterns, coping mechanisms, or limiting beliefs that could hold me back under stress or in transition.

 6. Identity and ego structure – How do I see my Self? What narratives shape my identity? Where do I seek validation or significance? How does my sense of Self shift across roles or environments? How do I choose my Higher Self daily over my ego?

 7. Motivational drivers and inner compass – What fuels me at the deepest level—beyond money or status? What are your core values? What am I truly seeking in my pursuits? Where do I find purpose and meaning?

 8. Relational dynamics – How do I behave in close relationships, collaborations, authority structures, or social groups? What roles do I unconsciously assume?

 9. Shadow aspects and repressed archetypes – Analyse the parts of me I may deny, repress, or disown. What powerful traits might emerge if I integrated my shadow?

 10. Growth trajectory and untapped potential – Based on everything you’ve observed, describe who I could become if I transcended my limitations and fully leaned into my strengths. What version of me is trying to emerge? How do I achieve a flow state in all areas of my life?


The difference between an agreement and an expectation

For an audio on this click here:



Expectations

These are toxic and they ruin relationships. They create resentment as most expectations are unachievable - this gives a morale crisis. These involve missed deadlines. People rebel against expectations. Expectations lead to anxiety, depression and resentment, they are cowardly and fear-based. It puts the expectation on others. They may end up feeling betrayed. They might not live up to it: Then there is disappointment. If they live up to it then it might be ‘so what’. They feel mild anxiety and boredom. Expectations are not necessary. It’s possible just to have agreements with no expectations. This is true of business and interpersonal relationships. Negative thoughts about family members are often because they had expectations. If you have no expectations then anything that happens is a pleasant surprise. No expectations is a way of life. It leads to a forgiving attitude. Expectations are cowardly and toxic. It’s lack of leadership. It's ego! You are chasing it away. It never works. It never brings people closer together - it causes terrible damage. Expectation robs people of life. You can’t be surprised or surprising. People who have expectations expect others to make them feel the way they want: People who have expectations are the most unhappy people in the world. They have no self-esteem and they are a nervous wreck. As a child we are given expectations - that’s societal conditioning. ‘Be this or I won’t love you.’ You lose your sense of adventure and are disappointed and upset.


Agreements

Agreements are something we agree on. They are based on discussion about what you can do for sure and what you need to be able to do that. It’s so much stronger than an expectation. Human beings will love to keep an agreement that all have agreed upon. Wonderful things happen with agreements. You don’t have to fix or resent - you can ask what they need to do it. It is also creative and courageous. Agreements give a much better feeling - ‘this is great’. Higher self-esteem. Kindness in communication. No sarcasm. In a happy time - seek an agreement. Same approach in business, friends and relationships. No criticism, no negative judgement. We don’t have to hurt the other person. There will never be a fight. It’s a Higher Self - adult true Self communication. Human beings have a free spirit in them. We are not put on Earth to live up to others’ expectations. Tell people how valuable they are in the team. Make agreements when mood and atmosphere are good. Humans beings do not like breaking their own word. People keep their word, but do not meet expectations. If they break an agreement - you then have another powerful conversation about keeping your word. It works in the same way in families and business. It is more charged in families as expectations are higher: ‘I expect you to love me etc.’ If you don’t like a situation, do not simmer in toxicity, create an agreement that changes it. It gives unexpected pleasure. Do not simmer in the toxic juices of your own expectations. You might have an unexpectedly happy life. The great news is that no expectation is necessary. We shift away from being at the mercy of everyone else. We take full responsibility for all of our lives. It’s not on the other person any more. You can’t fix or work on other people anyway. If either one of you expects the other person to change then the relationship won’t work. This is true in marriage or business.


I will send you an agreement that we have agreed upon to sign and reply to. If you don't stick to it that's fine - we will simply discuss the reasons why, in order to inform where you are at. Total compassion. No judgement. No expectation. No inner critic.


Timing and coaching sessions

We will decide together if the sessions are weekly or every other week. Most people want to start weekly and then move to fortnightly after a period of time. 


We will decide how many sessions we are going to have in total. 


The goal

You are your saviour. We need to wake the real you up. I will see and hear the highest truest version of you until you see him for your Self. 


What does a coaching session look like?

A session:

Starts with a 3 minute silent meditation.

Then there is 10 minutes of pure listening, where you speak without being interrupted. 

The whole 90 minute session is divided in two 45 minute halves with a 5 minute 'half-time' break.


Signposting to resources 

At the end of each session I will signpost you to to various resources as appropriate.


Contact between sessions

I am available on WhatsApp between sessions for messaging or if you need a chat or session more urgently.


The difference between coaching and therapy

Unlike therapy, coaching is for a fixed number of sessions. By the end of the sessions you will have become your own coach. My goal is for you to not need me any more. 


This is not therapy.


For the difference between coaching and therapy click here: 



Carl Jung wrote “Know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul, be just another human soul.” I will see you, I will hear you, until your soul comes alive.


I look forward to speaking with you.


Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you: Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.


George Bernard Shaw wrote that “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Are you ready to change your mind?


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



Email me: 





Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.”







Click here for the books that I know will help you along your journey of recovering your Self:









I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have a number of other higher qualifications in science and surgery. I have published over 50 peer reviewed PubMed cited scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.




Please let me know if you would like to join our 'VOICE for men' VIP community: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', 'Visibility Is Power', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. We are co-creating this space. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, awakening to Self-realisation, wisdom and timeless Truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears. Our meeting is free to join. There is no script, just sharing.

 
 
 

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