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The Vantage Point

Updated: Jan 28

For my 160th article I wanted to discuss the 'vantage point'. What is that? Let me explain...


Why do we feel so afraid? Fear seems to be everywhere. Many of aren’t even aware that we had an emotionally exhausting childhood. Now, as our assertive adult Selves, we can now see it for what it was. Once we can access and hold this vantage point, we can rest as the observer, the witness, as awareness. This is how we overcome our fear: It all depends on where you are looking from.

Awareness: Simply hold this vantage point


My whole childhood was emotionally exhausting. I had to parent and nurture my mother for as long as I could remember, despite her emotionally abusing me, and my father had left home when I was two years old, so I had no-one there to protect me. It really was an impossible situation for a young child.

 

 

I wanted to be independent and not have that overwhelming emotional pain and drain on my energies. I wanted to be the person that I wanted to be and deserved to be.


It slowly becomes clear to us that buried, unexpressed grief over the loss of the childhood that we never had was at the root of all the decisions, actions, and coping mechanisms that resulted in us subconsciously hurting ourselves and others through self-sabotage. Finally, relief from these habits can be seen as we raise our sights and see recovery and healing as giving us the hope we thought was forever lost.

 

It’s impossible to live like this, with the coping mechanisms from one’s childhood, without something needing to give. It’s not a question of if you will crash but when. I finally had a total nervous breakdown four years ago.

 

I now have a lot of awareness around my trigger points and my vulnerabilities. Do you? We all have vulnerabilities, but until we know what they are we have sensitive areas in our psyches that can make us feel emotionally exposed. This can awaken the ego in us, which is our petrified inner child. If this happens we feel afraid as fear is the language of childhood trauma and of the ego.


Our growing relationship with our Higher Power in a spiritual approach to getting well again is like a stabilising keel beneath us. No matter how stormy the winds above the surface of life's waters, or how much sail we sometimes hoisted into the gale in the form of commitments beyond the scope of our limited strength and energy, we found that the keel beneath us, meditation and prayer, guaranteed that we would not capsize. We would retain our buoyancy on the ocean of life. We could survive whatever life might throw at us. I try to say at the end of every prayer, "Your will, not mine, be done." Even if I prefer my will over God's will in a situation, saying this phrase keeps me humble. I'm forced to realise that I'm not God and my job is to seek Higher Power's will. Asking in prayer for answers and waiting and listening for them in meditation is the best way to do this. I have trained my brain to thank God in prayer instead of only going to Higher Power in crisis. Prayer is life affirming, not just a survival tool. Since I started practicing it, it hasn't let me down. I remember the phrase: "God doesn't drop people on their heads." Since my spiritual experience, I've found that to be true.

 

You will find peace and come to realise that your life is your own now. How we feel depends on whether we can connect with our BEingness, our presence, our soul, and view the world from that place. Just rest as awareness, and don’t ever get up from the seat of your soul, however much the ego goads you into reacting. How you feel depends on whether you can hold this vantage point of BEing awareness. This is how we overcome our fear: It all depends on where we are looking from.

 


Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you: Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.


George Bernard Shaw wrote that “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Are you ready to change your mind?


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



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Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.”







Click here for the books that I know will help you along your journey of recovering your Self:









I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have a number of other higher qualifications in science and surgery. I have published over 50 peer reviewed PubMed cited scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.




Please let me know if you would like to join our 'VOICE for men' VIP community: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', 'Visibility Is Power', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. We are co-creating this space. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, awakening to Self-realisation, wisdom and timeless Truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears. Our meeting is free to join. There is no script, just sharing.

 
 
 

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