top of page
Search

Childhood Trauma & Addiction

Updated: Jan 28

Dr Gabor Maté, one of the world leading experts in addiction, wrote that "90 percent of people are addicts. 10 percent are lying to themselves. It is not why the addiction it is why the pain? The more egotistic and successful we become the less happy we become.” 




How childhood trauma leads to addiction with Dr Gabor Maté, by After Skool


Shannon Mullen, the anthropologist, wrote “We’re all addicts by nature.” Addiction may be behavioural (for example to work, accolades, food, gambling, internet use, shopping, extreme sports, sex, and 'love') or to substances. Dennis Prager said that “People can become addicted to fame, money, and attention as deeply as they become addicted to drugs.” Perhaps all addiction is based on an addiction to external validation. Work successes have the same neurological effects as a shot of heroin – they envelop you in an ill perceived ‘blanket of love’. Everyone needs love. But you need to love your Self first. You need real, unconditional love: Not a bunch of fake imitations. What if you didn’t receive love unconditionally as a child? The causes, consequences, and recovery processes of the various types of addiction are all the same. Addiction is rooted in childhood trauma, often from an unvalidated childhood without unconditional love, resulting in unbearable emotions such as toxic shame and fear. Yung Pueblo wrote “I was never addicted to one thing, I was addicted to filling a void within myself with things other than my own Self-love.”


“There is one addiction process.” Gabor Maté wrote in his book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. He continued “That may be being a workaholic, retail addiction, sex and love addiction or drug or alcohol addiction to name but a few. This is very little to separate addicts from drug addicts to work addiction. We are all on a continuum. Addicts seek to numb or escape or obtain relief from pain. It is a hell-bound train. It’s a one-way ticket. Addition medicine is palliative medicine. Most addiction patients will die from their addiction. Addiction kills. The sense of guilt is fathomless. It is within us to resist or succumb. It has to come from the individual. The one constant is pain. How does one sooth souls inflamed and tormented by invalidated childhood experiences? There is scarcely a happy ending. Addictions always originate in pain. Whether felt openly or hidden in the subconscious. They are emotional anaesthetics.” Most of you will never seek treatment or recovery. 97% of alcoholics will never seek help. 25 percent of alcoholics commit suicide. The first symptom of addiction is denial.


Dr Gabor Maté wrote that "Addiction is not a disease or a human choice, it's an attempt to escape suffering temporarily. What people need is not judgement, they need help to be healed from their trauma. Is it possible for people to heal from trauma sufficiently that they don't have to keep escaping in their addictions to relieve their suffering of their trauma, then yes that's entirely possible. The question is under what conditions is that possible?"


What is your addiction? Work? External validation? Social media? The internet? Your phone? Gaming? Shopping? Gambling? Food? Nicotine? Hoarding? Sex? 'Love'? Sport? The list is endless, and includes behavioural addictions and substance addictions. Maté says that "If you think you are in only one fellowship, you are lying to yourself."


The first steps are recognising that you are an addict and that you are powerless over your addiction, then seeking help from others and your Higher Power. This is a journey inwards, and out of your ego.


Ram Dass on addiction and separateness:

Ram Dass on the root cause of addiction


Here is a list of a few of the 12 step groups for you:


So before you cast a stone at an addict, have a good look at your Self: You are one too...


Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you: Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.


George Bernard Shaw wrote that “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Are you ready to change your mind?


Namaste.


Sending you love, light, and blessings brothers.


Olly



Email me: 





Hello,

I am delighted and enchanted to meet you. I coach men with 'Deep Coaching', 'Supercoaching', and Transformative Life Coaching (TLC). Thank you for reading this far. I very much look forward to connecting with the highest version of you, to seeing your highest possibility, and to our conversations. Please do contact me via my email for a free connection call and a free experience of coaching on Zoom or in person. 


“Transformative life coaching uniquely creates and holds the space for you to see your self afresh, with clarity, and step into new ways of BEing, which will transform how you perceive and intuitively create your world. My work is to guide you to raise your own conscious awareness to the level that you want to achieve.”







Click here for the books that I know will help you along your journey of recovering your Self:









I have a Bachelor's degree in Natural Sciences from Trinity College, Cambridge; a Master's Degree in Philosophy from Trinity College, Cambridge; a PhD Doctorate in Scientific Research from University College London (UCL); a Medical Degree (MD/MBBS) from The Royal Free Hospital School of Medicine, London and have been a doctor and reconstructive trauma and cancer surgeon in London for 20 years. I have a number of other higher qualifications in science and surgery. I have published over 50 peer reviewed PubMed cited scientific journal articles, have been an associate editor and frequent scientific faculty member, and am the author of several scientific books. I have been awarded my Diploma in Transformative Life Coaching in London, which has International Coaching Federation (ICF) Accreditation, as well as the UK Association for Coaching (AC), and the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). I have been on my own transformative journey full time for over five years and I am ready to be your guide to you finding out who you really are and how the world works.




Please let me know if you would like to join our 'VOICE for men' VIP community: 'Vulnerability & Openness Is a Choice Ensemble', 'Visibility Is Power', where men can find their strength, courage, and authenticity, by dropping their egocentric fears and instead communicate openly with vulnerability. We are co-creating this space. It will change your life. It will empower you. This community is a safe space for men to connect and discuss philosophy, spirituality, positive psychology, awakening to Self-realisation, wisdom and timeless Truths, to share our experience, strength and hope, and to find solutions to our pain and fears. Our meeting is free to join. There is no script, just sharing.

 
 
 

Commenti

bottom of page